I should have given a better life for my son.  But because of stupid choices, he will always live with the realization that his mother (me) is a total screwup.  I am sure that he will wonder why I was in jail when he was born and whether he will be destined to the same fate as I.

My name is G.  Never mind giving out my whole name: I am only giving my first initial for privacy purposes.  Confidentiality, y'know.  I am in jail because I killed my husband.  He had beaten me up once too many times; decided I ahd finally had enough, so I snapped and did him in.  Shot him point-blank, right between the eyes, at close range.  He died almost instantly.

Am I sorry I did it? Perhaps.  But I had to protect myself  somehow, so I had to take drastic action.  Anywho, so I am now in jail (okay, women's prison, really) and it looks like I'll be here for a very long time.  In fact, when the judge sentenced me at my trial, I was sentenced to over 20 years to life for murder in the first degree.  

Well, while visiting me, my boyfriend, C (who I had met before my hearing; we had met on a hot date) decided to have some fun with me, and now I will always have a little reminder of our get-together.  Yeah, I got pregnant and had a son here in prison.

His name is C.  Named after his daddy.  

I don't have custody of him.  Can't have babies here in prison.  Better that way.  He is living with his daddy while I pay the fiddler.

I wonder what he will think of me when he gets older.  Right now, he's just a few months old, a cute little stinker.  Looks just like C.  Spitting image, right down to those same big black eyes and dimples on the cheeks.  Same coloring, too.   But I am sure that he will wonder where his mama is and why I won't be a part of his formulative years.

Well, it's lights out, so I'd best put this up before the warden busts me for burning the midnight oil.  He doesn't like it w hen we leave the lights on longer than necessary; guess he thinks that we are thinking of plotting on gettin' outta here.  I will write in here again; take care!

~G.

~To be continued!~