“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). The following is a life testimony to the enduring power of love over the ephemeral weakness of law to bring life-giving changes in our circle of influence:
We made a decision to add a room and widen the driveway of our home. For the two years we had lived in this home, the next-door neighbor had been very friendly to us, and we had a peaceful association. On various occasions, we talked about God and the Bible. The neighbor was very proud of his home and yard and worked on it diligently. However, the neighbor also complained about many things and was a source of irritation to others.
When we moved in, we discovered that this neighbor had been channeling excess runoff water near our back door via a pipe under the fence. There was a great temptation to confront him about this matter. I had checked the city code about redirecting natural rainwater runoff and found that I certainly had the law in my favor. There was, however, an abiding issue within my heart that spoke of another way and a greater purpose than redirecting water. That purpose concerned redirecting hearts. I began seeking this purpose and thanking God for this neighbor and the circumstance. God required patience. There were many months of openly accepting a difficult situation and living with the consequences of excess runoff without giving God a deadline to remove it. God called for deference, meekness, and contentment in my character for a purpose yet to come. I limited my freedom to demand correction of the violation, while knowing all the time that I had the legal power to change it.
During this time, God revealed great understanding of how physical circumstances are the pictures of spiritual realities.
Then that day came when the neighbor came to me and said that the runoff indiscretion had been bothering his conscience, and he corrected it without my ever uttering a word about the matter. I wondered, if I had forced him to change the runoff by process of law, if he would have had the same change of heart because of his conscience bearing witness to what was true . The answer came back to me—no. This was to be confirmed again later.
Work on the room addition required that cement trucks drive along the side of our house and the neighbor’s house to get to our backyard. There was barely enough room to accommodate the big wheels of the trucks on our property alone. The neighbor was asked if the trucks could get on his property a few inches. At first, this was unacceptable. So we agreed to use wheelbarrows to transport the cement from the front to the back. Then the neighbor changed his mind, saying that he should be a better neighbor. We accepted his offer, only to have him change his mind back and forth several times during the period of cement work. Each time, we accepted whatever disposition the neighbor took.
Then came the real test. The driveway was to be poured, stopping short of the property line by four inches. The city code permits concrete under nine inches in height to extend to the very edge of the property line. The neighbor did not know this. Also, the neighbor thought that his property line was closer to our house than to his. At this point, the neighbor was going to “put a stop to the construction,” because, he insisted, I was encroaching on his property. He sincerely thought he was right and had legal grounds for the decisions he was making.
First, he insisted on a land survey. I gladly paid for a legally certified survey, even though I already knew where the property lines fell. When the little red flags were staked in the ground, it was evident that the neighbor had misjudged the boundary. I had prevailed legally. When the neighbor realized his expectations of the boundary were not fulfilled, he removed the flags, and his anger became apparent in many spiteful ways.
Among other vengeful acts, he erected a fence along the edge and in contact with our driveway concrete, even though the concrete was four inches inside our boundary line. Of course, the boundary flags were gone now. He had checked the city code to be sure the fence was as big and as long as the law permitted. While his fence was legal in size, it was erected on our property illegally. Although I now had a legal right to force the removal of this “mountain,” I knew the “mountain” was not the fence but the accumulation of anger and discontent over a lifetime.
I purposed to not only accept the fence but to actually thank the neighbor for putting up a lovely-looking fence. He actually had done a very good job on the design and construction. I thought surely this would demonstrate the meekness and contentment that would bring restoration of peaceful living. The neighbor did seem pleasantly surprised and perhaps relieved that I accepted the fence as a positive issue. However, the fact that I had yielded four inches of my personal property and my expectations of the driveway appearance was not sufficient to restore the neighbor from obviously bitter strongholds.
I made every attempt to show kindness and appreciation for my neighbor. Even though my good-morning greetings were returned with gruff acknowledgments, I purposed to give soft answers in every way that would turn away the wrath. I sent cards of appreciation on appropriate occasions. I made extra efforts to acknowledge the beauty of the neighbor’s yard. Over time, the strained atmosphere appeared to relax somewhat, but there remained a deadened countenance and distant attitude from our neighbor that was previously not there. His enthusiasm and joy had faded; now he reflected subtle apathy and self-pity.
The fact that I had a legal right to put in the driveway and the power to legally prevail when challenged only proved that the law is dead when it comes to giving life. Even though I yielded on all the small issues and demonstrated sincere tolerance, patience, gratefulness, and deference toward my neighbor, my good works were insufficient to change what God had intended to change through abounding, steadfast love. Love that abounds more and more does not insist on its own way, even if it is legal. Love that increases toward one another will bear all things. Love gives what cannot be taken by force of law.
When the neighbor took bitterly aggressive acts against the driveway construction because it was too close to his property, I believe God wanted me to yield all my personal rights in the same way that Jesus did on the cross. I had the opportunity to yield my right to a personal driveway and demonstrate the self-sacrificing way of love. I concur with the apostle Paul—“For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I” (Romans 7:15).
To whom much is given, much will be required. Since I had dedicated all to Christ, nothing was to be held back. I had an opportunity to demonstrate agape love by giving all, but the subtle influence of having the power of law to prevail deceived me, and by it, killed the power of love to prevail. Iniquity kills the love.
Every day, as I saw my neighbor, I reflected on 1 Peter 3:9. “Do not return evil for evil or reviling for reviling; but on the contrary bless, for to this you have been called, that you may obtain a blessing.” God gently reminds me of His calling and the long-reaching consequences of iniquity. There is a way that seems legally right to a man, but the end of it destroys love and the blessing. I realized that what could have been a glorious blessing slipped away by leaning on the law.
Now I understand the reality of Christianity that Christ expressed: “Do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also; and if anyone would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well” (Matthew 5:39–40). I ask myself constantly if I am really practicing this reality of Christianity. The desire and enabling power for this kind of love comes only through God’s grace.
At the beginning, I demonstrated God’s love for my neighbor through grace. But grace is an ever-abounding requirement if God is to receive ever-abounding glory. At the end of the matter, I needed more grace than at the beginning. I understand the essence of Galatians 5:4—“Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace.” I know clearly how love needs grace, but justification needs the law.
God’s ways of love compel entrance through a very narrow gate that many people—painfully, myself included—do not always find acceptable or are willing to endure. It is more satisfying to the flesh to compromise enduring love with a wide range of instantly gratifying legal options. I clearly see why the gates of law are so wide “and many there be that go in thereat.” (See Matthew 7:12–14.)
Despite how my temporal freedoms and passing comforts could be justified by the power of law, there was no comparison to gaining an everlasting deliverance for my neighbor from his prison of bitterness by demonstrating Christ’s power of love. “When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory” (Colossians 3:4). Vanity that embraces legal rights disgraces Christ, but love that yields personal rights glorifies Christ!
Several times, I have asked this neighbor to forgive me for offending him with the driveway. Each time, he has avoided the request. “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle” (Proverbs 18:19).
Where I put law over love, I was strong, but Christ was made weak.
Where I put love over law, I was weak, but Christ was made strong.
