4/6/1990

A Mothers Reflection... 

Twenty-Four years ago I was in a sterile hospital room,

Being prepped for a Cesarean delivery

Of my second Son, or that's what I was told.

After 5 sonograms which supposedly revealed the male anatomy.

My Mother wanted to watch the delivery first-hand,

So my doctor put her is scrubs and told her where to stand to get the best shots.

For the doctors and nurses this was just an ordinary day.

But for me it was a melancholy day...you see, I really wanted a girl!

I was fighting bouts of nausea because my blood pressure kept dropping.

But not to worry, there was medicine for that.

There was NOT a medicine for my dampened spirit.

Ever since I was a little girl I had dreamt of two children.

I wanted a son first, followed by daughter,

But somehow my wish had not made it to God's ears!

I scolded myself for being so selfish in my wants.

The most important thing was that my new baby boy was healthy

And what great friends my two boys would be.

My mind listened to every word I said silently

But my heart felt heavy.

I think my doctor knew I was struggling with something,

So he talked to me the whole time.

To make me laugh and literally entertain me through the delivery.

Then all of the sudden the sterile room went strangely quiet.

I heard my doctor as he whispered “A lot of my little boys are turning into little girls lately”.

I quickly spat “that's NOT funny”!

Suddenly a nurse appeared around the drape and replied, “No, Karen,” the doctor is right,

“It's a girl”!

My eyes quickly filled up with tears that began streaming down my face.

“Thank you, Lord,” I replied audibly.

In that very moment, I didn't see camera flashes going off anymore,

So I immediately scanned the room looking for my Mother.

She was in the corner of the room peeling off her scrubs.

“Momma,” I yelled, “what are you doing?”

“I'm going shopping,” she replied breathlessly, “There is no pink to be worn, and everything is blue.”

“What did you say you were going to name her?” she asked as she threw her scrubs aside.

“The name you picked out when you first got pregnant, Karen, remember?” She whispered in my ear. 

“Ashton Elaine”, I said with pride that was felt clear down to my soul.

The last thing I heard my Mother say as she ran out of the sterile room was,

“I'm buying her first Barbie”....as the door closed behind her. 

I closed my eyes with a huge smile on my face, took a deep breath

And exhaled slowly as I said to myself...Ashton Elaine that's her name, my baby girl! 

You see, God, did hear my wish and he wanted it to be a surprise.

And oh, what a beautiful surprise she was and IS...

Happy Birthday, Ashton!

4/6/2014