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Marilyn F Friesen

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Member Since: Apr, 2014

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What Have I Ever Done?
by Marilyn F Friesen
Thursday, April 24, 2014

Rated "G" by the Author.

       
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     I'm working on the sequel to Two Mother's Twin Daughters, and I'll lift the curtain for just a moment so you can see how it begins...

 Hi there. Some of you have been yipping that you don't like the ending of Two Mothers, Twin Daughters. You think it is so verboten that the twins would be left separated. Welll... I've been trying to work on it, but David, the foster Dad, is a real stubborn ole man and he really wants to stay in Switzerland. Hey, can you blame him, really? It sounds like such a nice place. Anyway, I'll let you in on my efforts to dislodge him from the land of his dreams...for Alice's sake!

 

Here we go: This starts off with Alice's thoughts.

 

What have I done? What have I ever, ever done, Alice wailed inwardly. She felt like she was encased in a cocoon as the aeroplane circled round and round above the large European airport. As far as the eye could see there was a blanket of white haze. Part of the problem was that she couldn’t see, and the heavy, thick clouds seemed to be pressing in on every side. Are we going to run out of  petrol?

She saw a business man in an unpretentious medium gray suit and his hat in his hand motion to the air stewardess. With a smiling, yet professional demeanour, the woman seemed to be reassuring the man that yes, they were soon to land. Alice wasn’t so sure. 

There was a huge knot in her stomach. She wished the airliner would just turn around and go back home. She wished she hadn’t got on it in the first place. Home? Where was home? Is that what she had called that little farm carved out of the wilderness? She had lived with the Haynes’ all her life, but her heart tugged mightily towards what she called her real family way back in northern Alberta. Her eyes burned with unshed tears. Yes, that was home, but I can’t go back! The Haynes’ raised me. It would be too much of a tearing for both them and me, if I would have stayed. She felt sick with despair. 

 

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Reviewed by Ronald Hull 4/24/2014
I recall that feeling… Not landing in Paris and then circling London for hours after a seven hour flight, stomach wrenching and wondering if we would ever land.

This is not a story. This is an excerpt. A whole chapter would be better. A good story has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Ron

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