May 5, 2014, Nashville, TN.~

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Alaska Dawn Morgan here.  I'm afraid I'm not doing too swift today.  Am missing my Daddy.  Today would have been his fortieth birthday had he lived.  He died two years ago in Afghanistan.  I miss him terribly, especially today.  

I have been crying my eyes out.  Good thing Mom is here with me.  She's off work today (both jobs).  She's been trying to comfort me, but it isn't working.  My poor eyes and nose are so sore!!  I am sure I look a sight!

Mom has been having a hard day too, but not like me.  I was really close to Daddy.  I was his Baby-Girl.  I'm close to Mom, too, don't get me wrong, but Daddy and I had something special.  Now all I have are memories and a giant, aching hole inside my chest.

Father's Day is coming up too; I used to love surprising Daddy with little homemade gifts or cards; he always got a kick out of them.  Now I don't have Daddy, and I feel cheated.  Empty.  Hollow.  Miserable.

I just hope I can get through that day without falling apart.  Today's been bad enough, especially when we went to his grave at the cemetary.  I bawled like a baby, as did Mom.  I am sure people who were standing near us were lookng at us.  It was embarrassing.

We then went out to eat at Golden Corral, but I could only pick at my food.  I wasn't hungry; I didn't eat much.  I was never so glad to get back home!

I am glad this day will be over; it's nearly five o'clock, which means seven more hours until it's tomorrow.  Then I can put the memories behind me.  The memories are just too painful and fresh; I just can't deal with the hurt right now.

But on a happier note, I DID get to see Carrie Underwood this past weekend.  She played at the Grand Ole Opry House.  She did a great job; she sang my favorite song, "Blown Away"; of course, I sang right along, with gusto!  

She must have heard me 'cause she kept smiling at me.  I about fell through the backstage floor!  LOL  She is so pretty; I always knew she was pretty anyway, but in real life, she is drop dead GORGEOUS!!  

And I got to MEET her!! I about FAINTED!!  I was all tongue-tied; I couldn't get a word out edgewise!  All I could do was stand there like an idiot and babble!  She was so nice!  And she said she heard me singing; she said she wanted to call me out onto the Opry stage and join her to sing along.  I'm SOOOO glad she didn't; I would have, like, DIED!!!!!!!  

Carrie did ask me for my phone number.  I like to have DIED!!!!!!!!!! She also said I had a nice voice.  ME!!  Alaska Dawn Morgan, was told that by CARRIE UNDERWOOD!!!!!!  I thought I was gonna DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mom, of course, thought that was great!  She said maybe this will spark my interest in my singing!  I still want to be a singer and take voice lessons, but have never been able to afford them; they're too expensive.  Maybe one day I will; that's a dream of mine.  I'd love to be another Carrie Underwood (well, maybe NOT her, but I'd like to be LIKE her!) ....

Oh, I DID get my pic taken with her, but I look STOOPID!! I look like an immature little kid!!  LOL  I hope Mom burns it;  I just hope she doesn't post it on her Facebook page 'cause then I'd be out there, and people would see how DUMB I look!!  EEK!! (((o.0)))

Mom wants to post it but so far I've talked her out of it.  Hope that continues.  

I know Mom is proud of me and all, but I don't want my pic out on the Internet.  You never know who could be looking at it or what they could do if they got a hold of it ... it's all too terrifying to think about .... 

The weather today is pretty: sunny and warm, with highs in the seventies to lower eighties with low humdity levels.  I did go swimming earlier after we got home from the cemetary; it felt great.  Yes, I can swim; I've swam since I was a little kid.  Even my arthrogryposis hasn't stopped me from doing the things I love, even though I may do things differently than most people ....

We did have storms last week, but thankfully they had more bark than bite ... still, it was scary.  I don't like storms; every time it storms I'm like "Make it STAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWP!!"  Storms have always scared me, ever since I was a little bitty girl.

My asthma seems to be doing okay.  Just have to remember not to freak out when it storms (like that's even gonna happen .... LOL) ....

Rosemarie called today, to tell me that "Puppy" (my kitty) has settled down in her new home.  The sweatshirt that I sent along with Puppy is where she likes to sleep; I sent it along after we got rid of her, on account of my asthma.  That about made me cry ... I miss her soooo bad!!

STOOPID asthma!!  GRRRRR!!!!!

Well, Mom says supper is ready; she made tacos in honor of Cinco De Mayo.  Yum!  I love Mexican food, but not nearly as much as pizza!  :)  They smell downright YUMMYLICIOUS!!  Take care; this is Alaska signing off!  God bless!

Oh, those little flowers in the pic?  Those are on Daddy's grave; they are growing like CRAZY!!!  He loved shamrock blooms!  Every time I see them, I think of Daddy.

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