He Looked at Me and Said “You Have the Patience of Job”.

During the early evening of September the 22^nd I sat in my room and began to think about him. With regret, I said “He is probably not alive”. Why I thought that I do not know, what I said was odd, because I had my goals set to see him-- one day.  As I sat there I became filled with a very deep sorrow; as if he was gone from this world. It was a sorrow beyond any expression of words. Many thoughts, memories, and emotions overcame me. I said “…he never knew that I was o.k. ….” I began to cry. It was so real. Right then I decided to look him up. I did; via the internet. I could not find any information on him; everyone else but not him. I sat quietly and I said “think”.  A memory, one memory, came to mind. I could see him holding his fist out toward me and saying “do not forget this”; a ring with the letters xxxxxx written on the face. (He had told me what it meant but I somehow had forgotten.) So I entered xxxxxx into the search box and within seconds I had found him. (One piece of information led me to him.)  I felt sudden relief; relief from the sorrow that felt so very real. (I had never felt that kind of sorrow ever.)

Hurrying, I immediately sat down and wrote a letter for him; just in case something happened before I had the chance to see him. The cause of my sorrow became the foundation for the subject matter of my letter.  I knew exactly what I wanted to say to him. I purposed or chose not to write -”I love you” because I knew he knew that I loved him. (I felt it would reduce us to that of a cliché.) Once finished, I sent the letter. Finally, my day ended with joy in my heart knowing that my horrible experience was NOT REALITY- he was alive, everything was o.k. and my plans to see him-one day- were still in order. 

It was on September 21 or 22^nd that I had sent the letter, 21(Fall Fellowship), 22, or 23 (resurrection) days later he passed, and 8 (new beginnings) months later, May 21st  I found out he passed away. [I was so shocked. I said “No- he was just alive”.]  The number 22 means “division” and “witness”.  It took some time for me to understand everything but I believe God Himself witnessed the truth to him. (I always knew but I needed for him to know –know.)… I now have peace in my spirit. I feel like I am; because I know he believes/knows the truth. I thought God was telling me that he was o.k. ….. I realize, now, that God was preparing both of us for his departure. Needless to say, I am bewildered of how blindsided I was- how could I have not known.    

                                                                                 Christie Lynn

Nineteen years ago or so…the first week of my salvation - I held on to one specific quote from the Bible –“Seek the Lord Diligently and He will give you the desires of your heart”; I remember saying to Him “I do not know what is in my heart, but you do, and I trust that you will give it to me”. (Ironically, I found myself reading this very quote from off of a mirror (about two weeks ago- before I knew he was gone); I had given this quote to a child that had stayed with us. She had written the quote in marker; on the mirror in her bedroom. I sat there bewildered. In retrospect, maybe God was trying to tell me something.