Episode 10

As funerals go, this one was exactly what Don’s grandfather had always said he wanted. The police didn’t want to release the body, but, after the coroner finished his investigation into the cause of death and filed the report, Amanda had pulled strings. Even at 97, she still knew VIPs from several state legislatures, four-star generals at the Pentagon, high-ranking members in the State Department, and members of Congress in Washington, D.C.

Once, when Don was ten, she’d mentioned her affairs with three of the Kennedy brothers before and after John Kennedy was President.

Jonas’s stainless steel coffin had a high-impact, clear Lucite cover screwed on tight, and the coffin stood at attention center stage while a popular, regional band that often played the club performed his favorite music.

Don half-expected his grandfather to come back to life, leap off the stage and start dancing with one of the scantily clad women crowding the club. All three bars were open, and drinks were on the house. An alcove to the right of the stage served a buffet of free food.

The band’s lead singer, who had told Don she was from Singapore,  was Lexi Yu, and she moved about the stage belting out vocals that always impressed him enough to wonder how a voice so powerful could come out of someone so petite.

Over the years, Don had shared wine and tea with Lexi. When he first met her, it didn’t take long for him to develop a crush, and he lost a lot of sleep thinking X-rated thoughts about her. That had been a few years ago, right before her first single came out and she went on a bus tour of the country as a backup act for popular bands, but nothing came of it, and her career never took off.

Before Don met her, Lexi had been a friend of his grandfather’s, and Don had always wondered if she’d been one of his many bed warmers—there were already a dozen of them in the club that night.

Lexi was worth watching. From where Jonah was situated inside his coffin, he could easily see over the heads of the band and watch everyone in the club, especially the sexy singer. The undertaker had dressed him in a Hawaiian muscle shirt that exposed his weightlifter arms and chest and tight, see-through spandex pants. Don was sure Jonah’s bulge had been enhanced to twice its normal size.

“We’ve got a problem,” Ben said from behind Don’s left shoulder.

“Did you think I expected tonight to be different from any other night?” Don turned and indicated to Ben to take him to the problem. It turned out to be Norman, who had failed in his attempt to crash the private, invitation-only funeral party by climbing over the ten-foot wall that surrounded the club’s empty outdoor patio. A row of black, cast iron spikes ran along the top of the wall, and Norman was stuck on them. One of his legs hung on the inside of the wall, and his testicles looked as if they had been speared, too. His complexion was so pale that his zits looked like glowing embers on a sheet of white paper. His mouth hung open in shock, and he was gasping like a fish out of water.

“What are we going to do with this idiot?” Ben asked.

“Let him hang there.”

“Nooo!” Norman managed to say, and then groaned in pain. “I … know … who … killed … Jonah.”

“Now, that sounds interesting,” said a voice from the other side of the wall.

Don pulled over a chair, climbed on it and looked over the wall to see who was talking. From the inside, the top of the wall was only six feet from the floor.

Jane Eyre’s eyes met his. “Is he coming or going?” she asked.

“Going,” Don replied.

“Norman was eighty-sixed from the club on New Year’s Eve,” said Ben, who was standing on another chair.

“I’ve seen this kid at the station before. We already closed down two bars along the beach that let him in on a phony ID. Before you kicked him out, did you let him drink any alcohol?”

“Help!” Normal squeaked through pasty-white lips.

“Shut up,” Ben said, “or I might pull you down on those points and leave you there until sunrise.”

“I’m interested in hearing what he has to say,” Jane Eyre said.

“Let him say it from there,” Don replied.

“Nooo!” Norman moaned.

“I can’t let you do that,” she said.

“Oh, come on, officer,” Ben said. “This kid is trouble, and we didn’t put him there. He put himself there. I’ve caught him trying to sneak into the club so many times, I’ve lost count.”

“I’ll push his foot on this side,” she said, “and you two lift him over; then I’ll join you in your upstairs office to hear what he has to say.”

“It will probably be a dump truck full of bull shit,” Don said.

“You might be right, but my job requires me to listen to douchebags like him.”

The first 20% of this murder mystery is offered free every Sunday, one episode at a time for 15 episodes, starting September 27 and ending January 3, 2015. The e-book of the novel will go on sale December 5 to 7, 2015, and be offered for three days at $0.99 (75% less than the original price).