The radio rattled the speakers as the music worked its way out through the open sunroof.

Another five o'clock ride home. Cars breezed past me as I tipped the speed limit, not in as big a hurry as the racing drivers blurring my peripheral vision. I was nearing my intersection, a turn I almost missed hundreds of times while driving lost in my own thoughts.

A turn I wshed I could pass at least once a week, if even just to drive to the next turn around and make it a right turn instead of a left.

Sometimes I dreamed of passing the turn off and just driving for miles, until I needed a fill up. Then I would stop, break for a stretch, grab some coffee, get back in the car and do it again to the next unknown gas station. I would keep going until I couldn't drive anymore, no bags packed, no plans, no emails, or calls, or texts, just me in my car on the open road for... ever.

I wouldn't stop driving there was no road left to conquer, no place left to see. When I returned, I would make that left turn with a smile on my face, because I had been everywhere my car could go.

I would be tired of travel.

I would be tired of being alone.

I would want the life that is mine, the lack of freedom, the stability not provided by the wandering lust of travel. I would want the flat plains, the farmland.

Maybe I would want it then.

Maybe I will now. I'll pass that turn off. Disappear into the myriad of travellers on long stretches of road. What would happen if I did, if I said good bye to it all right now, changed everything, disconnected.

What would happen?

I want to know. Shall I turn, or shall I go?

My husband waits.

My dogs, my cats.

They will go on as life takes its course. They will not wait for my return. Each day will pass just as before. Work, farm, eat, sleep, work, farm, eat, sleep.

It's drawing nearer, that left turn, the one I almost drive past each day. Oh, the desire to keep going is so strong.

Go! Just keep going!

They'll hire someone to replace me.

He'll be angry. Maybe he will search for another companion. Maybe he will wait.

I silently wish he were in the car with me as the turn off streaks past my left window.

Elated, yet longing, I keep driving. I did it! I did it!

I drive, take a deep breath, pass a mile marker, bask in the moment of freedom it offers just to drive past that turn off...

to the turn around, where I will enter my route home from the right today.