Lumpy finally meets someone with just as bad a sneezing problem as he does - Sneezy Sniffles. But unlike Lumpy, Sneezy actually enjoys sneezing, somehow knows that Lumpy does too, and will do anything in her power to make him admit his secret fetish. Currently unfinished.
Lumpy could feel his nose becoming itchy again, for what felt like the hundredth time today. He sniffled several times and rubbed his nose repeatedly, but neither of these actions were much help. It became clear that he was going to sneeze again.
"Aaaah... Aaaaaahhhhhh...!" Lumpy inhaled twice as he removed his hand from his snout, tilting his neck back. A final inhale later, he released a strong sneeze. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
This sneeze fired a small amount of mucus from his nostrils, as well as a small amount of spray from his mouth. By the time he had recovered, his nostrils were bright red and were running constantly. He sniffled and rubbed his nostrils on his forefinger. He sighed to himself as he looked around the living room, finding a tissue box on the coffee table. He took a couple of tissues from the box, held the tissues to his nostrils and blew his nose, hard. His nose continued to run, however, so he wiped his nose repeatedly after he had finished blowing.
It was just another spring day, and Lumpy's hay fever was getting the best of him. There was nothing he could do to forget that he was extremely allergic to all types of pollen and flowers; in fact, even sensing one of the two would cause him to explode in a huge, loud sneeze. And no matter how hard he tried, his nose was always itching and needing to sneeze from something.
"Ugh, this stinks. And it doesn't just stink, it's the worst thing ever," Lumpy said to himself as he wiped his nose on the tissues that he was holding. "There's gotta be somebody who has allergies that are just as bad as mine."
Just then, he heard the doorbell ring. He got up from the couch that he was sitting on and disposed of the tissues that he had used. His nose had stopped running, but it was still pretty sensitive. He went over to the front door and started to open it, but he heard something from the other side.
"Ah... Aaaaaahhh..." The sound from outside sounded like somebody building up for a sneeze. He couldn't tell who they were from, but the person who needed to sneeze sounded female. "HaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHH..."
Lumpy could see the door nearly compressing with the next inhale, and his eyes widened in both surprise and fear. He quickly backed up, putting his forefingers to his unseen ears and bracing himself for what he was sure would be a powerful sneeze. And then, it happened.
The door was blown open, revealing the very sneezer who was standing at the door and had just released the monstrous sneeze. Lumpy stood where he was, his eyes widened and pupils shrunken in shock. That sneeze was unlike anything that he had ever heard; at least, if he didn't count his own sneezes. The sneezer wasn't somebody he could recognize, but a light purple unicorn, with a pink mane and tail that both had a light blue stripe in it.
The unicorn recovered from her sneeze and opened her eyes, revealing her pupils to be the same shade of blue as the stripe in her mane and tail. She brought her front hoof up to her nose and rubbed it several times as she sniffled repeatedly. She also blushed at Lumpy in embarrassment.
"Oh, my gosh..." Lumpy said in both bewilderment and disbelief - mostly the latter. "Bless you."
"Thank you..." the unicorn said as she continued to rub her nose; once she had started, she wouldn't stop for a while.
"Are you feeling okay?" Lumpy asked, his mood changing from shocked to concerned. "That was a pretty big sneeze..."
"I know." The unicorn sniffled again. "But don't worry, I'm fine. I heard you sneezing really loud, and it kind of made me sneeze, too, so I decided to come over to see if you're okay."
"Yeah, I'm okay, too," Lumpy answered. "Um, sorry about that sneeze. I'm allergic to pollen and flowers. If I even go near them, I just start sneezing, a lot."
"You're what? Allergic?" the unicorn asked, her eyes widening in surprise.
"Yeah, I am. I just can't help it, I'm really sorry..."
"You don't have to be sorry," the unicorn said, finally removing her hoof from her nose. "I actually thought that sneeze of yours was pretty awesome."
"You... you did?" Lumpy asked, not believing what she just said.
"Yeah, I did," the unicorn answered. "By the way, I don't think we've met before. My name's Sneezy Sniffles, but if you want to just call me Sneezy, you can."
"Oh, okay." Lumpy then introduced himself. "I'm Lumpy." He then moved out of the way so that Sneezy could come inside. "So, um... you wanna come in?"
"Why, yes, thank you." Sneezy walked into Lumpy's house. "You know, this is gonna sound pretty weird, but I think it's awesome that you've got allergies."
"W-what?" Lumpy couldn't believe what she said. "You have got to be kidding me."
"No, really, I do," Sneezy admitted, without a regret. "In fact, I'm allergic to stuff, too."
"You are?"
"Yeah, I am!" Sneezy said. "I'm allergic to pretty much everything. Like pollen, dust, feathers, pepper..."
"Oh, man, I am so sorry," Lumpy said in sympathy. "That must be the worst thing in the world."
"No, it's not. It's the best thing in the world!"
Lumpy didn't know how to respond. To him, that seemed like something that only the stupidest person in the world would say.
"Sneezy, I don't know how to say this, but I don't really think so," he finally said. "I think there might be something wrong with you..."
"Yeah? Like what?"
"Um, you know... that you like sneezing..."
"Yeah, I know. A lot of people and ponies call me weird because I say stuff like that," Sneezy stated. "But that doesn't bother me, at all. I don't let that get in the way. I love sneezing!"
Lumpy stood in silent disbelief for a long moment.
"What... the heck... did you just say to me?"
"I'm not kidding, I really do," Sneezy said. "I absolutely love sneezing, a lot! In fact, I'll even make myself sneeze with whatever I can find! What's wrong? You don't like sneezing?"
"Um, no, I don't," Lumpy said, looking away and blushing. "But I'm not against you liking sneezing or anything. It's just weird..."
"Maybe it is to you, but it's not to me. And I'm pretty sure that deep down, you love sneezing just as much as me."
Lumpy could only blush even more. Sneezy tried to think of something else to say, but her muzzle suddenly twitched, and her nostrils flared up. She knew what was going to happen, and she was excited.
"Oh, boy! I think I'm gonna sneeze!" she said happily, and then turned away from Lumpy and began to inhale. She tilted her neck farther and farther back with each inhale. "Aaaaah... Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH--!"
However, before she could release her sneeze, Lumpy pressed his forefinger right under her nose, which stopped the sneeze. That wasn't what Sneezy wanted, however.
"Um, Lumpy?" Sneezy asked. "Would you please not stop my sneezes? I don't like when anypony does that..."
"Well, okay, if that's what you want." Lumpy nervously removed his forefinger. Sneezy immediately began to inhale again.
"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh... thank... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH... you... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!" Sneezy tilted her neck as far back as she could, and then released another huge sneeze as she shot her neck forward. "CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
"Bless you," Lumpy said as Sneezy rubbed her nose on her hoof.
"Ah... wow, that felt so awesome..." Sneezy said in bliss. She turned back to Lumpy, still rubbing her nose. "Sorry about that. My nose is really sensitive and ticklish. Pretty much anything can make me sneeze."
"Yeah, I can tell," Lumpy said. "My nose is pretty sensitive myself."
"Really? Hmm..." A mischievous smile appeared on Sneezy's face. "That gives me an idea."
The unicorn got out a small bag, which she opened with her magic and inserted a hoof into. She then proceeded to search for something that was in the bag. Lumpy looked on in curiosity until she found what she was looking for and pulled it out.
But when he saw what it was, he cringed in fear. He knew exactly what was going to happen. "Please, don't..."
"Don't what?" Sneezy asked. It turned out she was holding a feather in her hoof. "What are you so worried about? It's just a feather."
"I know, but I know exactly what you're going to do with that," Lumpy said, putting his hand over his nostrils in fear.
"Don't worry, Lumpy, I just wanna see how sensitive your nose really is," Sneezy explained. "So I'd like to tickle your nose with this feather and see if it doesn't get you to sneeze. Trust me, this won't take long at all."
"Um, okay..." Lumpy nervously removed his hand from his nose. "But I'm pretty sure that'll make me sneeze, so please, be careful when you do this."
"I promise."
Sneezy walked up to Lumpy, held the feather in her hoof, and began to tickle the base of Lumpy's snout with it. However, rather than immediately needing to sneeze, Lumpy started giggling instead. He just couldn't help it; it really tickled.
"Oh, really?" Sneezy responded as she continued tickling Lumpy's nose. "But do you need to sneeze yet?"
"Hee hee hee! No... Hee hee hee hee!"
"Well, in that case, I'll do this."
Sneezy removed the feather from Lumpy's snout and then moved it closer to the end of his nose, where his nostrils were, and began to brush the feather back and forth against them. Instead of giggling, Lumpy cringed as his snout twitched, and his nostrils flared up. They flared up very slightly, but Sneezy managed to see them doing so.
"Um... Sneezy?" Lumpy tried to get her attention, but he could feel his breath starting to hitch as he felt a sneeze coming on. "That... Aaaaah... that tickles, too... aaaaaahhhh..."
"Yeah, I can tell," Sneezy said. "And it sure looks like you need to sneeze, too. Don't you?"
"Aaaaaaaahhhhh... yes... Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh..." Lumpy continued to inhale.
Not wanting to let him sneeze yet, Sneezy removed the feather from his nostrils and pressed her free hoof right under Lumpy's nostrils. Lumpy's breath returned to normal, but he actually didn't want that to happen.
"Ugh, why'd you stop my sneeze?" Lumpy asked. "I could have sworn I was gonna let it all out..."
"I haven't tickled the insides of your nose yet," Sneezy stated. "The outsides of your nose seem to be pretty ticklish, but what about the insides?"
"Sneezy, please, don't tickle my nostrils..." Lumpy begged. "You have no idea how ticklish they are..."
Sneezy removed her hoof from Lumpy's nose, levitated the feather from her other hoof with her magic, and inserted the feather directly into one of Lumpy's nostrils. She began to rotate the feather around, tickling the insides of Lumpy's nostril.
Lumpy's eyes immediately widened completely, and his pupils shrunk until they could barely be seen. "That ti--" He wanted to say that it tickled, but he couldn't finish the last word, as the urge to sneeze had returned once again. "Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh... AaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH...!"
Sneezy smiled mischievously as she continued to wiggle the feather around in Lumpy's ticklish nostril. She tried not to leave a single spot in his nose untouched. "Goochie goochie goo..."
Those last three words caused Lumpy to lose control. He tilted his head far back, his nostrils flaring up madly and his snout twitching constantly, as he took a final inhale and then exploded.
Lumpy let out one of the biggest sneezes that Sneezy had ever heard, unless she counted herself. His neck snapped forwards as he released the sneeze, and a large amount of spray came blasting out of his mouth and nose, as well as blowing the feather out of his nostril. Just one sneeze wasn't going to cut it, either. Lumpy tilted his neck back again, waiting for a second sneeze to come. Presumably, this was the sneeze that Sneezy had stopped for him, and it was back for revenge.
Lumpy shot his neck forwards with the second sneeze. Only after this sneeze did his nostrils feel satisfied. Lumpy sniffled a few times and rubbed his nose on his forefinger repeatedly. Sneezy, however, was more than satisfied from hearing his sneezes.
"Wow, that was awesome," she said. "Bless you, Lumpy."
"Ugh, thank you," Lumpy said as he sniffled again, still rubbing his nose. "But like I said, my nose is really sensitive, but the insides of my nostrils are the most ticklish parts. Please try not to tickle them too much..."
"I'm sorry, Lumpy. As much as I love making myself sneeze, I love making others sneeze, too. Especially by tickling their noses."
“It’s okay, I guess,” Lumpy responded.
“Also, a lot of my biggest and best sneezes are from feathers. If even one tickles my nose, I'll go right into a sneezing fit of really loud, big sneezes,” Sneezy pointed out. “I think that feathers are one of my worst allergies, but they're also one of my favorite sneeze-causers. I just love how much they tickle, even when they make me sneeze…”
Just talking about this caused Sneezy’s nose to twitch, and her nostrils flared up slightly. She noticed it happening, and Lumpy did, too. They went silent for a few moments, both expecting a sneeze to come on, but it didn't materialize. Her nose just itched, a lot.
“Um, Lumpy? Can you do me a favor?” Sneezy asked.
“You want me to make you sneeze?” Lumpy asked.
Sneezy nodded in agreement, so Lumpy tried to think of a way to make her sneeze. He looked around the room, only to find the feather that Sneezy had tickled his nose with, and it was sitting on the floor. Getting an idea, he picked it up and looked back at Sneezy. She knew exactly what he was up to, and she really wanted it to happen. Lumpy could see it in her eyes.
The blue moose walked back over to Sneezy, holding the feather in his hand, and began to brush it on Sneezy’s nose. He actually expected her to start laughing, but instead, she immediately received a pre-sneeze face. Her muzzle twitched, and her nostrils flared up as her eyes watered slightly.
“Aaaaaahhhh… HaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH…” Sneezy inhaled twice, and then put her front hoof under her nostrils. They stopped flaring as the urge to sneeze disappeared, and her breath returned to normal.
“I thought you wanted to sneeze,” Lumpy said.
“I do, but it’s not the outside of my nose that I want tickled,” Sneezy pointed out. “It’s the insides…”
“Um, okay, if that’s what you want.” Lumpy inserted the feather right into one of Sneezy’s nostrils, and began to tickle the insides of her nose.
Sneezy’s eyes immediately widened, and her irises shrunk until they could barely be seen. Her ears stood on end, and a chill ran down her spine. Her snout twitched even more, and her nostrils flared up even more violently, with the nostril that the feather was inside of flaring the most. Her eyes closed halfway as her breath started hitching again, and this time, she didn’t try to stop it.
“Aaaaaaah, haaaaaaaah…” Sneezy inhaled twice as Lumpy continued to tickle her nostril. “Haaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh… Oh, my… Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh… I think I’m… HaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAH… GONNA… AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH… SNEEZE… HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…”
“Yeah, I can tell.” As happy as Lumpy was to help Sneezy, he was actually worried about what would happen. “You want me to stop?”
“HaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… NO… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…! I MEAN, YES, IT’S COMING! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…!!!”
Sneezy couldn’t say any more words, since her speech had now been reduced to nothing more than desperate inhales. Lumpy knew exactly what was going to happen, so he removed the feather from her nostril and backed up a few steps, plugging his ears with his forefingers. Sneezy tilted her neck as far back as possible, eyes shut tight and nostrils flaring uncontrollably, before she finally released the sneeze.
Sneezy shot her neck forwards as she exploded with an absolutely huge, loud and powerful sneeze, which caused the floor underneath to shake. A large amount of saliva was released from her mouth, and a large amount of clear mucus came blasting out of her nostrils. But that one sneeze wasn’t going to do. Her nose was still extremely irritated, so she tilted her neck back again, inhaled, and again exploded.
This next sneeze was just as bad, if not worse, than the first one, but it still wasn’t enough. Just as she had explained would happen, Sneezy entered a sneezing fit due to her feather allergy, as well as her extremely sensitive nose that just wouldn’t be satisfied.
The sneezing fit finally reached its end, but by the time it was over, tears were streaming down Sneezy’s face, and her nostrils had turned a bright red and dripping with clear mucus. Upon recovering, Sneezy immediately put her hoof to her nose and started rubbing it constantly. She sniffled repeatedly as she did. Lumpy walked back up to her, completely shocked that she had just sneezed that much.
“Wow. Bless you, Sneezy,” Lumpy said.
“Ugh… *sniff*. Thank you,” Sneezy responded as she continued to rub her nose.
“Are you feeling okay?” Lumpy asked.
“Um, actually…” Sneezy sniffled again, and then stifled a cough. “Aside from my sniffly nose, my throat’s a little sore. I think you might have overdone it a little.”
“My gosh, I am so sorry...” Lumpy apologized, even though he didn’t need to. Sneezy actually wasn’t mad at all.
He looked around the living room, but then remembered the tissue box on the coffee table. He took the box and offered it to Sneezy.
“No, it’s alright,” Sneezy responded. She accepted the box, pulled out a tissue with her front hoof and blew her nose loudly. Some of the mucus was cleared from her nose, but it continued to run, so she proceeded to wipe her nose on that same tissue as she resumed speaking. “You don’t have to be sorry, I’ll be fine. And besides, those sneezes were just... amazing. They felt so good to let out, and I liked how dramatic they sounded when I let them out. But I want to point out, when I sneeze too much from my allergies, it kind of feels like I’m coming down with something, but it goes away quickly.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“And I might have sneezed more than my nose could handle, but it was worth helping my itchy nose,” Sneezy went on. “Thanks for making me sneeze, Lumpy.”
“Don’t mention it,” Lumpy said.
Levitating the tissue box with her magic, Sneezy walked over to the couch and sat down on it, placing the tissue box by her side. She continued to sniffle and wipe her nose.
“You might want to give me a minute before I start feeling better. But I’ll definitely be fine, I promise.” Sneezy turned her head to look at Lumpy. “Did you like watching me sneeze like that?”
“Actually, no, I didn’t,” Lumpy admitted, almost sounding nervous. “I didn’t really believe you when you said you’d sneeze like that. But when you did, I thought you were never gonna stop, even though you said you’d feel better after it was over…”
“You don’t have to worry about that, Lumpy.” Sneezy continued to wipe her nose as a slightly mischievous smile appeared on her face. “I think we’re gonna get along just fine…”
Lumpy didn’t know what she was thinking, but he had a bad feeling about her expression. Did she want him to keep making her sneeze, or did she just want an excuse to make him sneeze for her own amusement? It wasn’t clear which one she liked more, but she seemed to enjoy both, to the point that she would try to force either of them to happen. And Lumpy could bet that she wanted him to prove that he loved sneezing as much as she did. He did like to make himself sneeze, but only when he had a stuck sneeze, which didn’t happen as often as he thought it would. However, he would never admit that he did love sneezing or making himself sneeze, because that would be the single weirdest thing in the world. But she was up to something…
All Lumpy knew was that this was the start of a sneezy friendship.
