This takes place after the Something to Sneeze At episode. King Dedede is still suffering from his cold, but luckily, Escargoon and the Waddle Dees - mostly Escargoon - are doing whatever they can to make him as comfortable as possible.
"Huuh-haaaah-AAAATSHOOOO!!"
The floors shook for a few seconds as another loud sneeze echoed through the castle. But most of the castle's inhabitants paid little heed, if any. Inside one of the bedrooms, King Dedede lay in his bed, with a red tinge on his face, a bag of ice water on his head, and a barely used box of tissues by his bedside. He really wasn't feeling so good; in fact, he was coughing and sneezing up a storm.
It had been about a day since everyone in Cappy Town had recovered from their colds. However, King Dedede was the only one of them who hadn't. He hadn't caught the cold like everyone else did; after overhearing a conversation, he thought that it was because unintelligent people couldn't get sick. Not wanting to be called an idiot because of this, he ordered some Cold Monsters, which he then consumed, from NME. Cold Monsters could and would cause one to get sick once he or she had let them into their body. The King's plan worked like a charm; he did get sick, and happily ran around the town proclaiming so.
But some time later, the cold's effects began to get the best of him. It was at this point that Dedede decided that it was time for him to get better. His boss knew the secret to getting rid of a cold, which was to simply pass the cold viruses onto someone who wasn't sick. But the only problem was everyone else was already sick, except for the Waddle Dees and Kirby. Dedede tried to pass his cold onto them, but failed to get the latter or any of the former sick.
So now that everyone in Cappy Town was recovering, Dedede was still stuck with his cold, and had been regretting his decision since the day before. Those Cold Monsters had turned him into a coughing, sneezing monster, and they were going to keep him like that for the rest of the week.
King Dedede heard the door open, and sat up in his bed to see Escargoon walking into the bedroom. Presumably, he had come in to check on him and see if he needed anything.
"Are you feeling any better, sire?" Escargoon asked.
Dedede responded with a couple of heavy coughs. "Do I look like I'm feeling any better? Because I ain't!"
"I know, I was just making sure."
Dedede was going to reply, but his breath suddenly hitched as he needed to sneeze again.
"Huuuh... huuuuh-aaaah..." Dedede tilted his neck slightly back, and then sneezed a loud double, right at Escargoon's face. "AAAATCHOOOO! ATSHOOOO!"
Escargoon stood where he was, with an unamused look on his face as it was covered in a layer of saliva.
"Bless you," he said, sarcastically.
Dedede sniffled and rubbed his nose on his arm. "Thanks."
"Good thing I got over my cold already." Escargoon pulled a tissue out from the tissue box, and wiped the spray off his face. Just as he finished, King Dedede's breath hitched again.
"Haaah... huuuuh... I'm gonna...! HAAAAAH--!"
Dedede tried to finish his sentence, but he simply couldn't. Realizing what was going to happen, Escargoon quickly pulled another tissue out from the tissue box, and held the tissue in front of Dedede's face for him to sneeze into.
"HUUUUTSHOOOOOOOO!!!"
Like many of his sneezes that he had released, this sneeze released a small amount of mucus. But this time, right after the sneeze had finished, a thick drop of mucus began to ooze from both of Dedede's invisible nostrils.
"Ugh..." Dedede groaned and sniffled loudly, before taking the tissue from Escargoon and blowing his nose, clearing the drop of mucus from his unseen nostrils. "Ooh, 'scuse me." He then removed the tissue from his face, reached his hand up to his beak and rubbed it a few times. "Man, that was a big one."
"Yeah, I could tell," Escargoon replied.
Dedede suddenly broke into a loud coughing fit, firing small amounts of phlegm from his throat. Escargoon looked on in concern until it finished.
"Ugh, I need a drink..." Dedede said. "Hey! Waddle--" He was interrupted by a few painful coughs. "--Dees!"
Three Waddle Dees ran to King Dedede's bedside.
"Would you get me some water?" Dedede coughed a couple more times. "If I don't get as much as I can drink, I won't stop coughin'!"
The Waddle Dees nodded in agreement, and then ran out of the room.
"Man, am I jealous of those Waddle Dees..." Dedede coughed, and then sniffled. "They got way better immune systems than mine."
"You know, I felt the same way about you when I was sick," Escargoon stated. "Until you got sick, too, of course."
The Waddle Dees went into the kitchen and proceeded to fill a few glasses with water from the sink. They then headed back into the bedroom. By the time they had arrived, Dedede was getting ready to sneeze again, and Escargoon was holding a tissue in front of his face.
"Huuuuh-AAAATCHOOOO!!"
"Bless you... again," Escargoon said as he wiped Dedede's nose so he wouldn't have to.
"Ugh, thanks," Dedede said with a sniffle. "Too bad you're the only one who ever blesses me..."
The Waddle Dees went back to Dedede's bedside, and they offered him the glasses of water that they had obtained for him.
"Oh, it's about time." Dedede grabbed one of the glasses of water from one of the Waddle Dees, and chugged the water down. It burned slightly as it made its way down his throat, but it wasn't that bad compared to when he coughed or sneezed. When he finished this water, he put down the glass and grabbed the second glass of water, which he proceeded to drink as well.
"You really need to slow down, Triple D," Escargoon pointed out. "Drinking it that fast isn't good for you..."
"Said who and when?" Dedede asked after he had finished the second glass. "If I drink plenty of liquids, I'll be just fine!" He grabbed the third glass of water from the last Waddle Dee and chugged it down as well.
"Well, don't say I didn't warn you," Escargoon said.
Dedede finished the last glass of water, panted several times, and then lay back down in bed.
"That oughta do it..." he said.
"Seriously, though, don't drink that fast," Escargoon said. He then got out a plastic bucket and put it by Dedede's bedside. "Here's a bucket, just in case you need it."
"Are you kiddin' me? I don't need--" Dedede didn't get to finish his sentence, as the urge to sneeze caught him by surprise yet again. "Ahh... Huuuuuh..." He grabbed the bucket and aimed his face into it. "HAAAATCHOOOOOO!!"
He sneezed into the bucket, filling it partially with his spray and mucus. He then removed his face from it, groaned, and rubbed his nose on his hand. Escargoon looked almost shocked, and then dismayed.
"That's not what they're for..." Escargoon said.
"Yeah, but it sure beats losing my lunch." Dedede handed the bucket back to Escargoon. "Could ya empty that out for me?"
"Of course, Your Majesty," Escargoon said, but then sighed to himself. "I've got nothing better to do..."
With that, Escargoon left the bedroom, while Dedede lay down again, deciding to take a nap. He didn't know how long it was going to last, though, since his cold was making him feel so miserable.
Deputy Dave Jenkins sets out to find the murderer of the local high school principal, aided by a voice from the grave that is sometimes helpful and sometimes misleading.
"Murder isn't usually this funny."
Amazon reviewer
The Wholly Book of Genesis is a humorous satire on the first book of the Old Testament where the Story of Creation, the building of Noah's Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah and the families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are thoroughly spoofed and broadsided.
