One of my older stories about Lumpy needing to sneeze in front of the reader.
You remembered exactly what happened. You couldn't forget about it no matter what you did. You were hanging out with your good friend, Lumpy the blue moose, when a huge sneeze located him and cornered him. At just the right timing, you saw Lumpy looking confused, with his nose twitching, nostrils flaring, eyes squeezing shut. He clearly didn't want to sneeze in front of you, but he was becoming aware that there was no other choice, and he had to surrender. He threw his head back as he began to inhale.
"Ahhh... Ahhh... Ahhh..."
He inhaled repeatedly as the sneeze grew dramatically in power. After the third and final inhale, he put his right forefinger directly under his nose. You'd seen characters do this to themselves, however, and you knew that this wouldn't work. True to this, the finger seemed to have no effect whatsoever. Defeated by the sneeze, Lumpy tilted his head back one more time and then it came. A loud, powerful, dramatic, theatrical, "CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
His head automatically jerked forward with the sneeze. He didn't have a chance to cover his mouth as the sneeze was so large that it almost demanded that it be uncovered, although he didn't sneeze directly onto you. Seconds later, Lumpy recovered, tilting his head back to its normal position, rolling his eyes, giving a single but sharp sniffle, and bringing his right forefinger to his nostrils to rub them. He looked at you with an embarrassed look on his face, continuing to rub his nose and giving you a mild, "Sorry..."
Forgiving him immediately, you blessed him. You could just barely resist squealing in delight, but you just couldn't help it. That was one of the best sneezes you had ever heard.
Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V
Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V is humorous adult literature featuring adult content and language. The work satirizes and spoofs thirteen classic tales from U.S. and British literature, a
