Introduction for From Broken to Blest: Embracing the Healing that Awaits You by Adele M. Gill and Dr. Verna Benner Carson
The fact that you are reading this book, 'From Broken to Blest: Embracing the Healing That Awaits You,' tells me you or a loved one may very well be weary, know brokenness first-hand, and be in need of healing. Whatever it is that led you to read this book, perhaps it is 'meant to be' that you have this particular book in your hands right now. 'From Broken to Blest: Embracing the Healing That Awaits You' is my own personal true -life story—one of unrelenting, ongoing, untreated childhood trauma, and subsequent depression, PTSD, and 35 years of living with subsequent, associated autoimmune and neurological illness.
Most of all, my story, my witness is about the power of forgiveness, redemption, and ultimately wholeness in the arms of Jesus. Though it has taken some five decades for me to discern and gather the courage to share my own life story, doing so has brought me tremendous healing in mind, body and soul. For me, this healing journey has been more like climbing a massive, steep mountain, or removing shrapnel, than simply peeling off the proverbial onion layers.
After initially seeing 70 medical doctors with various specialties and many acute care hospitalizations, I was still virtually undiagnosed and finally realized that this was not my own battle to fight. Clearly, this was a ‘God job’ if there ever was one!
As a direct result of the childhood trauma that I endured, I emerged from my youth into adulthood with life-threatening physical disabilities from damage sustained to both my immune
and neurological systems from childhood trauma. With depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder, also known as PTSD, I also need to use a bipap respirator 12-14 hours per 24 hour day for mechanical respiratory support. I live with frequent exascerbations of difficulty breathing,
garbled speech, difficulty swallowing when fatigued, respiratory and generalized muscle weakness due to an unspecified progressive neuro-muscular condition the doctors call myasthenia-like syndrome.
In my life, writing my own story has been key to healing—emotionally, medically and spiritually. Necessary--to begin the restorative process in mind, body and spirit.
Before writing my story, I found it difficult to put my childhood trauma experiences into words and it was very hard to share them with others in a way they could understand. The
intensity and pain of my childhood was hard for me to accept as, in a sense, it was unspeakable, due to the extent of what I endured. What is written here is just a small part of what transpired in my youth, particularly with my father and his ‘activities.’ There is so much more I could have
written but chose not to, as it is just too painful.
Over the past 10 years, because of my mind-body health, and being flooded with childhood flashbacks and nightmares, I have been forced to come to terms with the memories of my youth
and my parents and grow in forgiveness by being able to pray for them both. That has been a big challenge for me as my mother suffered dearly from what I have been told was ultimately major
depression and untreated paranoid schizophrenia. My father was a marginal character always seeming to be running from the law, who, in my considered opinion, did not seem to know right from wrong or have a conscience. In that way, because of this, Dad was a very good fit for the
double life he led in the Mob, with Meyer Lansky, his mentor, and his other seasoned underworld ‘associates.’
Not sure why, but my writing this book has been met with some family resistance. When asked, my siblings have only shared brief experiences and memories of our childhood without
‘connecting the dots’ so to speak, as I was forced to do because of my health issues. Though I’m sure we were all affected by our childhoods, they are both fortunately, in good health living full lives. I can only conclude that based on how we grew up, we are all just doing the best we can to
deal with the memories and perspectives we each have. It is as if each of us was raised by different parents. My relationship with my siblings is very important to me, as they are precious people in my life—always have been, and always will be. The fact is that much happened in my
young life when they were not there. I’m not sure why my father singled me out and chose to
intimately include me in his underworld, especially from middle school on, after my sister went
away to college. But he did. In a capsule, my siblings did not witness the full extent of Dad’s ‘activities’ as he revealed to me the sordid side of his double life. Due to work and college, my siblings were not there as the years pressed on with Dad’s weekend ‘activities’ with me in tow.
Though they were aware, they were not the focus of my mother’s abusive cruelty, hostility, angst, and raging anger that she directed toward me increasingly in my teenage years.
Yes, I was a victim in my youth, but today I am ‘silent no more and victim no more’ as I share here how the love of God has saved me from an unspeakable life of early trauma, brokenness and feeling unloved. In actuality, I now see myself as a servant of God, and a witness to His holy love in my life, and am fully committed to sharing my witness.
From Broken to Blest is my personal story, my own witness of what I have seen God do in my life since my traumatic youth. I am free to share with others about my tumultuous, traumatic childhood, even in print for the first time, but most of all, I am free to tell others about how God
saved me from childhood trauma and a life of torment. Silent no more, victim no more--free at last!
Perhaps my father saw me as someone who could unwittingly assist him in building his organization as I was so outgoing and precocious in my youth. These qualities helped him meet
people easily, many whose family members later became “business associates” in what Dad often referred to as, ‘The Syndicate,’ ‘The Racket,’ ‘Our Thing,’ ‘The Outfit,’ ‘Cosa Nostra,’ and ‘Meyer’s American Mafia.’ In a way, it seems that my father used me as an unwitting shield, a decoy, a favorite fishing lure to grow his organization.
Today, by any measure, I still face seemingly insurmountable mind-body health challenges, yet that is just a small part of my story. In actuality, my story is a witness to how God, through Hisunmatched, unconditional love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness, has raised me up on eagles’ wings
from the depths of untreated childhood trauma, subsequent despair and adulthood infirmity. Despite it all, God has brought me abundant peace, joy, healing in body, mind, and spirit, and new life to share with others, in Jesus Christ, and for that I am eternally grateful.
By the grace of God, through writing this book over the past 6 years, I have experienced significant physical and emotional healing. Writing my story has provided me with tremendous
catharsis and has helped me deal with lifelong depression and anxiety, gain confidence, and build self-esteem that was trampled in my traumatic youth. Most of all, sharing my witness has
offered me the great privilege to recognize and share with others how Jesus has interceded on my behalf again and again, to protect, comfort and guide me through uncharted, turbulent waters.
It is not uncommon for traumatic childhood memories to take root and cause serious damage, involving both physical and mental health later in adult life, particularly neurological
and/or autoimmune conditions. That is exactly what happened in my life. For me, frank and open self-acceptance, with a ‘no shame, no blame’ philosophy, and ongoing therapy, has
provided me with a strong sense of relief, and a much better understanding of who I am and what
I have endured in my youth. By so doing, I have effectively been able to lay down my childhood burdens for the first time ever after repressing the early trauma for five decades, affecting my overall health and wellness. I am now far more able to recognize, and share life with others the blessings, compassion and grace that God has seeded in my. It is with
a full and grateful
heart that I am able to press on and move forward, striving to live life to the fullest each day with
peace and joy.
By the grace of God, for the glory of God, after five decades of silence, I am now able to remember, talk about, and write about what happened in my youth, to connect the dots, so to
speak, to grieve innocence lost, and through prayer, to grow in forgiveness for those who hurt me most. I will never be able to thank God enough for preserving me through those traumatic years and throughout my adulthood. It is my express hope that by sharing my story here, it will benefit others who are trapped in the muck and mire, the quicksand, of untreated childhood trauma, and the associated negative, hopeless feelings and infirmity that often accompanies it. Moreover, it
is my expressed hope and prayer that they will also find Jesus in the process, and through Him, be able to heal and live full and productive lives. The signature Bible verse for From Broken to Blest: Embracing the Healing That Awaits You is
from Acts 26:16-18 [NIV]:
“I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen and will see of me. I will rescue you from your own people...”
This Scripture reveals the purpose for writing this book about my traumatic childhood, and about the Almighty, loving, healing hand of God that has comforted and protected me in my youth and throughout adulthood.
Through this book, this witness, I hope I can help others who have suffered from untreated childhood trauma to protect, improve, and restore their own physical and mental health. From Broken to Blest: Embracing the Healing That Awaits You is written not only for trauma
survivors, but also for, parents, teachers, social workers, nurses, doctors and clergy---in fact for
anyone who is in a position to make a significant, life-saving and life-giving difference in the life of anyone of any age who is enduring, or has endured, childhood or other emotional trauma.
I'm reading a lot of explanation for why you wrote your book and how you came through it, but I'm not reading the story. Yours is probably a gut wrenching story, but, although you allude to it in this, seemingly promotional description, I'm not reading what happened or even what the results were except umbrella terms like abuse, un-diagnosable symptoms, and PTSD.
Unless you get the real story, you won't fully let it out and be free.
Thank you for your kind words, Budd. It is my expressed hope that this book will help others challenged by the ongoing, pervasive effects of the trifecta of untreated childhood trauma: Depression, PTSD, and neuro-autoimmune disorders. The process of writing this book has given me new emotional freedom, and much improved mind-body health, which is my hope and prayer for my readers, as well.
I have written a chapter called I Am That, I Am in this inspirational compilation book by best-selling authors and wonderful people from all walks of life xox :-D (Its sister book is called Adventures In Manifesting - Success and Spirituality)
Timeless wisdom and advice on the art of living for today’s young and old: The art of thinking, the art of loving, the art of working, the art of leadership, the art of growing old.
A new translation by Sergio E. Serrano of this inspirationa
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