Some four decades later, when I was in my 40’s after first being introduced to ‘Uncle’ Meyer at Saratoga Racetrack in Saratoga Springs, New York, I was on my bipap respirator one afternoon watching TV, and I noticed a very familiar face in the corner of my eye on the TV screen. It was ‘Uncle’ Meyer! The man Howie had often called by the nickname ‘Luigi,’ but I knew him as ‘Uncle Meyer,’ was on TV! To my great surprise, and my utter dismay, it was a History Channel documentary called, “The New York Mafia: The Five Families of New York” and it featured none other than my Howie’s close mentor, ‘Uncle Meyer,’—who apparently also was known as an infamous New York mobster, and some of Dad’s other associates! In fact, some of Dad's associates were members of 3 different families of the 5 families of New York!
Though I had often heard about Meyer Lansky while was meeting with other Mob associates, andseen ‘Uncle’ Meyer many times with Howie when I was really young, I had never connected the dots before, never asked his last name. At that time, all I knew was that the man on the TV was my dad’s longtime mentor whom I had been told to call, ‘Uncle Meyer’ as a young girl, some 40+ years earlier. Though the clues were all there, I was shocked at his association with the Mob, as Howie had used every other word to describe his world besides the term, ‘Mafia,’ like the Syndicate, Our Thing, The Racket, The Entertainment Industry, and the Unions. Yet, deep in my heart, as I got older, I knew that the Mob was Howie’s world. Feeling like I needed to know more about his associates and Howie’s world, I went to the local Barnes & Noble book store, found the crime section and then the ‘Mafia Encyclopedia’ to read more about Meyer Lansky.
How could this possibly be??? Aghast at what I saw, I will never forget that day as I sat dumb-founded, heart racing while pouring over the book photos and stories of many of Howie’s closeassociates whom I had met, including ‘Uncle’ Meyer. I recognized many of the men by their faces, nicknames and localities. Howie had always been extremely careful not to reveal real names and locations whenever he took me with him to meet his associates. Last names were always covert or omitted, and many went by nicknames like Luigi (‘Uncle’ Meyer Lansky).
I remember being in shock and speechless, as I learned about Howie’s world that day, and who his New York and New Jersey ‘associates’ really were. In fact, I later learned that my life with Dad seemed to follow important Mob events. Many pictures in the book were familiar faces, and included places Dad had taken me with him to New York and New Jersey so many times where he met with his compadres when I was really young.
Birds of a feather really do flock together!
When I was very young, it was not uncommon for Dad to start loud arguments with my mother on Fridays, where he would come pick me up and take me with him telling her he would be away for the weekend. Looking back, I think it was actually a predictable ploy that allowed him to leave the house for 3 days at a time--with a reason. Often, he would take me with him, and go to New Jersey and New York City and drop me off in the care of strangers ~ his Italian descent associates and their families. Who would suspect anyone of any wrong doing from someone with a young child in tow as a shield, decoy, a distraction?
As a result of growing up in our severely dysfunctional family, my parents had everything to do with my growing in empathy for others. Likewise, they are responsible for the person I am today, as my greatest desires is to love my family, serve the poor and homeless, and to trust in the Triune God.
Mom tried hard to live her Catholic faith to the letter, and she taught me everything I needed toknow about faith by the time I was 6 years old. Paradoxically, though my mother was the orthodox Catholic one in our family who led me to Blessed Mother Mary, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, it was my father, Howie, who was the one who especially led me to God himself. This happened as my youth pressed on, when I eventually realized my earthly father was not to beemulated nor trusted, and was incapable of love. I loved him, but hated the fact it did not seem to be reciprocal. Putting aside all loyalty he instilled in me, I eventually realized, to my dismay, that he was the polar opposite of Father God in every way! It is my belief that Mom’sfervent prayers, through the power of the Holy Spirit, saved me from much heartache and danger in my youth, and I carry that with me always.
