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Open Your Minds #33: Autism (Gabriella, aged 3, as told by her big brother, Jose', aged 9) by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Tuesday, February 4, 2003
A toddler struggles with everyday life and living with autism; and her older brother writes of the everyday challenges she faces.
My little sister, Gabriella Rosetta, is only 3 years old, but she isn't like a lot of kids her age.
For starters, she has severe behavioral problems, and she seems to live in her own little world. She doesn't associate well with people (especially with strangers; life with us is barely tolerable for her), and she will only eat certain things. She also will spend hours twiddling her fingers in front of her eyes, or she will wave kleenix or pieces of paper in the air. Or she will sit in the middle of the floor and rock back and forth, back and forth.
She also refuses to go to the potty; and she usually has to wear diapers because she has seemed to forgot how to go to the bathroom; it's like she has regressed to a baby again.
Certain things cause her undue stress. If a stranger pats her on the head or even as much as looks at her, Gabi will scream as though she is being killed; and she can't eat certain things without purposely barfing it back up (like oatmeal, for instance). Mealtimes, as you can imagine, are NOT a pleasant experience in our household; and forget taking her out; she would only attract unwanted attention.
Gabi seemed to be a normal baby, doing normal baby things, but then, at about the age of 15 months, she started "regressing", and things she once learned were forgotten; and she was becoming more like a younger baby. She also stopped talking; and she hasn't said anything since. All she does now is cry or scream. Now, at the age of 3, she is no longer potty-trained, and feeding her has turned into such a major production.
Gabi has what is known as autism. Autism is a disorder in which the child has difficulty relating to people and they seem to be living in their own fantasy world. It is a very misunderstood condition, and people who have it often have peculiar habits or symptoms that make them appear to be very odd to most people. The term "autism" is used to describe certain behaviors (such as the lack of communication or relating to other people, or the incessent rocking, head-banging, hand-waving, obsessive fixation on inanimate objects for hours, and the like); and unfortunately, my little sister, Gabi, is autistic..and severely so.
Now, there are different degrees of autism; some people can only be mildly autistic, but others, like my little sister, are severely autistic, and they often need a lot of help. This is why we have people come over to our house a few times a week to work with Gabi, in the hopes of bringing her out of her shell; but so far, not much luck. Gabi remains the (usually) silent, emotionally-disturbed little girl she has been since she was an older baby; and it really upsets me. I remember Gabi being a happy, ever-laughing baby; and it was like she had changed totally overnight; and our lives have been turned upside-down ever since. She isn't the same little girl anymore, and it is tearing our family apart.
Mom is home with her all the time, and daddy is sick a lot of the time because of the stress from both his work, and then coming home and dealing with Gabi and her problems; and then he gets mad and yells at mom and me for no reason. He sometimes tells mom he wishes we no longer had Gabi because she is nothing but a problem; and that makes mom cry (and me, too; after all, Gabi IS his daughter, and she IS my sister!).
Because of her being autistic, Gabi has some peculiar habits besides what I have already described above. She will be up half the night, banging her head on the wall; and she will walk the floor, screaming her head off; and she will also eat things that I wouldn't dream of eating. One time she pooped herself, and she was eating the poop; and another time, she was eating a worm we had found on the sidewalk. Of course, she got violently ill afterwards; but she still does it from time to time; and it is sickening.
People all the time tell mom or dad to put Gabi into a home for the retarded; but that's just it..Gabi ISN'T retarded. She just happens to have an unusual disability that is very little understood unless you deal with people who have this problem; and she just happens to have severe behavioral problems. But she is still a child, and we always hope that one day she will "emerge" from her autistic state and be the little happy kid she once was.
So far, nothing has happened; but we still continue to dream and hope for her future. After all, she IS my little sister, and even with her peculiarness, I still love her! She deserves a chance at life, too, just as I do!
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Reviewed by Lisa Rambo
3/18/2003
As a parent of a child with Pervasive Developmental Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, I do understand how this child can feel. You did a good job bringing out what a child can feel. How a child looks at a disabled sibling is an important part of how they cope. Thank you for reviewing my story and keep up the good work!
Lisa
hello, karen, here's what you do. pray. control what you can and keep yourself together and strong. in this way you can be there for your family even your father. tkcare. grady
you describe the children (or adults) and their disabilities in this series extremely well, karen. well researched and meticulously detailed writes, with a bit of humor thrown in at unexpected moments. these don't read like technical medical manuals; you've humanized the descriptions without treating the reader as a child. well done...you need to find a publisher for this series! ((((HUGS)))) and love, your biggest supporter (and twin sis), karla. :)
My little sister, Gabriella Rosetta, is only 3 years old, but she isn't like a lot of kids her age.
