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Odin odin@aflx.com

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Books
· Perceptions

· ECHOSIS

· Prosetry at Work

· Said and Unsaid - Vol 1

· 3 WAY MIRROR


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· Patience Waning

· Ladle Lines (A prosetry memory)

· A Gentle Man

· Pacing Love's Journey

· Gratitude

· A Sticky Conversation

· Blazing Now and Then

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· The Kite That Would Not Bow

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· Truth is One


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· Understanding the Unexplainable

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· A Jungle-rain Pastorale

· Sediment Within the Soul

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Talkin' to Smoke (redux)
By Odin odin@aflx.com
Last edited: Monday, May 31, 2021
This short story is rated "G" by the Author.
       
Recent stories by Odin odin@aflx.com
· Patience Waning
· Ladle Lines (A prosetry memory)
· A Gentle Man
· Pacing Love's Journey
· Gratitude
· A Sticky Conversation
           >> View all 367
The pandemic was tough relationships, right? Let’s hope boy/girl ideas find some inspiration in the coming year, ‘cause, damn, this has been one hell of a year for the “will we ever make it” couples. I wonder what Sartre would say, were he livin’ with the down-to-earth, hard workin’ survivors of “family values” now?

 

Talkin’ to Smoke (redux)

The three of them sat around the campfire.  It was shaman time, and well…mom and dad were dead tired, y’know, so the kid threw on another log, gazed at the smoke rising and started to grin.

“What y’all got wigglin’ there, boy?”

The boy let his grin wiggle some more, then, “Sometimes, relationships are more about how long you can stay tired, than about feeling anything akin to being energized, you know?”

“What you talkin’ ‘bout, boy?” the mother said softly.

“Just, that whether you’re the guy or the gal, it’s kinda like talkin’ to smoke…tryin’ to make it work, that is.”  He watched the smoke disappear up in the bows of the pines.

“That ain’t no story, boy,” the father grunted.

“Ever think about what keeps a mule goin’, pop?  He don’t like to plow, but he likes carrots.  So you hang a carrot out there in front of him, you know, big stick roped round its neck, pokin’ out there between his ears.”

“That’s sweet, dear,” the mother said with a proud smile. 

“So, anyway, the mule gets exhausted without the carrot.  Mule with a carrot… now right there, y’all got yourself a relationship, ‘cause with a carrot, mule spends a long time bein’ tired, right?”

Pop looked over at Ma.  “Boy’s turnin’ into some kind of weird, eh?”

The boy continued to watch the curling gray rising from the fire.  “Relationships… like talkin’ to smoke.”


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Reviewed by Diana Legun
Reviewed on October 15, 2021
Everything about this excerpt feels juicy real to me. Even the font, old plink typewriter look to it. Natural feel to the dialog; having lived in the deep South once, I recognize that kind of natural. Fun to read* ~~ djl

Reviewed by Stephen Pollard
Reviewed on June 5, 2021
Very interesting conversation between the boy and his parents....I guess that they wonder how he became so knowledgeable on that subject to make such an an analogy.

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on June 2, 2021
I had to giggle with the boy that as I read. A real homespun take on the problem. Boy becomes guru and his family. But I thought the exhaustion was referring to his mom and pop… Why they stayed together for so long… Mere exhaustion. Not enough energy to get up and get out of there.

Ron

Reviewed by John Herlihy
Reviewed on May 31, 2021
So true, nicely written and to the point.