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Stephen W. Pollard

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Member Since: Nov, 2007

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     In my latest short story series posting "Will Fame And Love Return / Wednesday November 7, 2007" finds Bill Falstaf in his concern for Rick Randolph's medical condition from the concussion that he experienced, has set up a doctors appointment with a neurologist to examine Rick for any lingering effects from his concussion.

Will Fame And Love Return


Broomall, Pennsylvania 

Wednesday November 7, 2007



Bill Falstaf had called Rick Randolph, this was more than a call just to chit chat, Bill Falstaf’s purpose was because of his concern for any lingering after effects that Rick had from the concussion that he had sustained in the Baltimore Clippers season opener back in early April. Bill Falstaf was concerned, not only because of Rick’s condition, but also that since Bill left the Baltimore Clippers, the organization had not shown the least bit of concern for Rick’s mental & physical condition and he seemingly knew just what was behind the Clippers management’s disinterest in such matters, but also knew just who was involved. Bill Falstaf had started keeping detailed notes on how those involved were leaving a trail behind them that they may have thought was behind the scenes and nobody would notice.


Bill Falstaf had explained to Rick Randolph about what he wanted to do for him and Rick understood Bill’s concern. So the legendary manager set up an appointment to a neurologist, to conduct a medical exam on Rick for any lingering effects of the concussion and if it was continuing to affect the brain functioning of this legendary baseball player.


The two friends arrived at the doctor’s office of neurologist Damian Faust at the Delaware Valley Medical Center, not far from Bill Falstaf’s residence in the Palmer Valley section of Broomall. 


Rick Randolph’s examination started off with an M.R.I. procedure. Afterwards he was put through a series of mental agility tests to check his response to each of the procedures.


Dr. Faust was observing all of the results from each of the procedures, making notes as he moved along, not noticing anything in particular that stood out. Dr, Faust’s conclusion about Rick Randolph’s condition was that even though there was still some lingering after effects, his main thought was that they were not serious, but the only thing that he could conclude was that when a person suffers a brain / head injury is that even after a concussion heals, that back in the person’s mind, they mentally never forget about what happened to them and tend to pull back and be less aggressive, but if a person works hard enough at it that they can eventually overcome that reflex.


Dr. Faust felt that Rick would be in better mental shape come the next baseball season in the Spring and by the end of the next season should be back to normal in his batting and fielding. Dr. Faust recommended to Bill and Rick that if they felt that there were still any after effects that were creating problems that they could make another appointment and have another series of examinations using the same procedures.


After they had arrived back at Bill’s home, he turned to Rick and said. “This is to be kept between the two of us, that no one needs to know anything, to just deny it and respond with that it’s just a hearsay rumor”.

 

 (C)   2021 

 

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Reviewed by Sandie May Joyce (Sandie Angel) 10/30/2021
Hello Stephen:

I have read this chapter and I've found a lot of repetitions within the lengthy sentences, and also some repetitions of Rick's condition may also have been mentioned already in earlier chapters.

You'll need to shorten your sentences to present much clearer points so that it won't cause the readers to read a bunch of words and then forget the point that you were going to make. Put some commas or periods somewhere after you have made a point. Then you may go on to talk about something else without further repetitions.

All in all this is a chapter about three points you were going to make:

1) Bill Falstaf called Rick to remind him he needed a physical checkup.

2) Bill made the appointment with doctor and they travelled to to clinic or medical center for the necessary tests.

3) The conclusion: The physical tests results were all fine, but Bill Falstaf is still worried about the side effects of the incidence that may still be affecting Rick's mental condition (no need to explain why since you have mentioned before in one of your earlier chapters), so, perhaps a visit to a psychiatrist is next in order?... I don't know... it's your story, you decide what's next.

I love your story so far! I hope Rick will make a full recovery and be in a winning team upon his return. Your sports fan will love this story.

WTG Stephen!!!... Write on!!!

Sandie :)

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