Today, I guess more than ever before, I realize how life on Planet Earth will continue on after I’m no longer part of it. And all the admonishments I’ve heard concerning the rich not paying enough in taxes, and the world facing economic and environmental problems, and the threat of terrorism, and the reality of a spreading plague are all of digressing importance to me now. And I know that time will continue when I’m gone. And I know the earth will solve its own problems eventually. It always has.

And therefore, although this may seem harsh and /or inappropriate, I know my most enduring memory from a life lived upon Planet Earth will be that far more often has blame and condemnation for the ill fortune, mistakes, and crimes of others been heaped upon me, than has even any basic acknowledgement for having lived a basically good existence been granted me. And knowing that to be my most enduring memory, proves to me that my second such everlasting “take” upon human life is the preciousness of an orderly existence, despite the fact that simple order can’t guarantee a smooth passage of time. Oh, but we can’t jeopardize our timeless home! We can’t risk spending eternity with Lucifer!

And when, in one’s life, someone or something one had cherished or been aided by, passes away, or ends, one’s thoughts then concern how one interacted with those people or things, and how one will now live on without them in the future. And often such thoughts may extend past those speculations, and supply viewpoints concerning what all one’s life has been, is, and may yet be. And I’ll begin the next paragraph with one such speculation.

Throughout my life, as is the case I’m sure with all sinful mortals, I’ve made a number of mistakes. Yet, fortunately none of them have been enormously hurtful either to myself or anyone else. And of course I look back in contriteness at all those actions, and wish they hadn’t occurred; still, I’ve also been told that whatever may have been wrong was as least equally matched by what was right.

But no one knows how many people were satisfied with a certain lot in life, and how many weren’t. And no one knows how many thought they were satisfied when they really weren’t, and vice versa. And most people most likely don’t know how many goals were sensed in their minds – whether they ever wished to pursue them or not.

Last Wednesday was my last day at work. And at the end of my shift that day I went down to the personnel office and filled out the necessary paperwork for my retirement. Of course I’ll need to complete some other forms at some other locations as well, such as the Social Security office etc.

But I must say, I was somewhat saddened by the aftermath of my official retirement. No one, with the exception of Mayor George Jennifer, who called me at my home that evening and asked if I’d come to his office the next day, ever acknowledged that my working days were over. Only the mayor congratulated me for my years of work. But he then asked if I’d write this piece which I reluctantly agreed to do. And I told the mayor I didn’t feel I had much to say. Still, he persisted, and I capitulated. And then he told me that my written piece might become significant in that it would probably be the last piece submitted as part of a group of submissions which, he was assuming (but didn’t know for certain) was then going to be grouped with all its prior disclosures (with mine being the last) into a book format.

So, yes, I did agree to the project. It’s to be a project about looking back and realizing that… Oh, but it’s difficult to do this! All those years! All those years are gone forever! And the man leaving the factory today is a much older man than the one who entered it for the first time long ago. But over the years I’ve noted how events both good and bad have occurred. And I’ve learned that some people are good, but others aren’t. And now I know that both the good and the bad have left their marks on American society. And today I’ve really been confronted with the fact that I’m not young anymore.

But maybe it’s too much of a simplification to classify mortals as being simply good or bad. Maybe the real truth is that most mortals are a combination of good and evil, with one or the other of those dominating at various junctures. And thus, if we can bypass tendencies to merely stereotype others as completely good or evil, and accept that all humans are complex in regard to their relationships, perhaps we’ll then be capable of achieving some valuable realizations.

And, I think the first of those is that no one wants to work simply for the welfare of others. And those who once wrote that certain people should work to supply the needs of others who either couldn’t or didn’t want to support themselves, should have been made to themselves do the physical labor they tried to foist on to others. Second, there is no such thing as a “common good” in which all mortals are somehow grouped together in one supposedly happy congregation. No, each mortal stands alone as his or her own person, and each will someday, whether he or she wishes to admit it or not, have to plead his or her own case for salvation. Third, anyone who thinks he or she can somehow reach backward into the past, and by one method or another grant new interpretations to what actually occurred there is only fooling him or herself – no one else. And fourth, anyone who is trying to impart either a liberal or conservative slant to any activities occurring today is not being truthful to him or herself or anyone he or she tries to indoctrinate with his or her “spin” of current events; and especially so should he or she concoct false stories and spread them about as truthful across the various media formats. And fifth, anyone who tries to deny that both of the far extremes of the political spectrum are dangerous to mankind is sadly lacking in his or her knowledge of how human beings actually think and react; a lacking usually rooted in a very poor grasp of history.

I have an older brother named Brandon. He’s a number of years older than I, and I’ve never really known him well. But I can remember my parents complaining about his absent mindedness. And I know they also found him to be arrogant and egotistical, as well as a few other undesirable things. Nevertheless, he left home for good one day without saying much of anything to myself or my parents. I guess he got involved in some public service type occupation, although I never heard from him again; and neither did my parents, both of whom are dead now of course.

But Brandon moved away and left his parents and brother behind here in the city. Yes, he left us here to face a difficult, but not unexpected fate on the south side of a city many years known for the unexplained events which apparently happened here. And today, although I really believe that for every person I ever wronged, there were at least two others I either tried to steer into, or keep within the right, I don’t know if the same can be said for my brother.   

And for me, my assumptions concerning my brother have always presented a dilemma. No mortal knows how much rightful or wrongful living any other mortal has done. Oh, of course mortals know of (or at least should know of) many of humanity’s substantially good and evil deeds. But maybe sometimes deeds of goodness and evil are misinterpreted. And maybe sometimes those misinterpretations lead to false hopes and fears. Yet, you don’t want to be the person who’s either as a well-known or an unknown, paying the price for all that’s unproven. And, if indeed all of life is lived upon a figurative stage, you don’t want to be an actor who’s not yet learned his or her lines when the time comes for he or she to speak. But, no doubt far worse still, would be a scenario in which one found oneself in agreement with the finger shakers who, while hiding in their offices, proclaim their disdain for the common man, while they themselves struggle with the concept of time – passing by.