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Sandy Paluzzi

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When I Grow Up
by Sandy Paluzzi
Friday, June 6, 2025

Rated "G" by the Author.

       
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     My future goals have changed throughout the years. Follow my dreams from age 3 to 75
Age 3 to 5: Red is my favorite color, blue is my sister’s. We both like to look at the Sears wishbook. When I grow up, I will be the queen of all the rubies in the world and my sister will be the queen of all the sapphires,

Age 5 to 7: I have expanded my love of rubies to include other gems. When I grow up, I will have as many beautiful gowns and jewels as my paper dolls. I will date handsome men who drive beautiful convertibles.

Age 16 to 18: I do have one good ring, madras sneakers, and a boyfriend who drives a GTO, which is even better than a convertible. I am on my way to college, a steppingstone to adulthood. When I grow up, I will get married, live in a house with an inground swimming pool and adopt a child from every country in the world.

Age 35: I am unhappily married and have decided I would be a better aunt than a mother. I have a boring job but live in an old 3 story Victorian with 15 stained and 30 leaded glass windows. It’s okay that it doesn’t have a swimming pool, it’s a neighborhood landmark. I look forward to finding a career I enjoy when I grow up

Age: 38: I discover software engineering, a job I love. I get divorced, revel in my freedom and dream of achieving incredible financial success when I grow up.

Age 50: My consulting company is doing well, and I am amassing possessions. I have beautiful clothes and jewelry. With my flair for styling outfits, I have even turned heads. I travel a lot and consider myself sophisticated and one of the lucky few. But then tragedy strikes, I go into therapy and wonder if I even want to live in a world without my father and best friend. My therapist convinces me I will eventually go one whole day without crying when I grow up.

Age 60: I have accepted the loss of many loved ones but have shut people out because I can’t risk the pain of losing them. I don’t do well with idle time and throw myself into working way too many hours and spending many more hours volunteering to help others cope with their depression. I no longer yearn for material things. Instead, I dream of being brave enough to have a friend when I grow up.

Age 75: I have retired, developed good friendships and given away most of my jewelry and other valuables. I wear comfortable clothes, live in an easy to maintain modern 2-bedroom condo and enjoy new hobbies. I still volunteer and spend some time taking care of others. But I am finding balance between work and play, taking things less seriously and laughing more.

Maybe I have finally gotten it right. While I accept that I have always been and will always be a caretaker, I am learning to take care of myself first. I am setting healthy boundaries and have become my top priority in my old age. I may still have a ways to go but I have taken the first step. Growing up seems more like a journey than a destination. Maybe realizing that means I have finally, at long last grown up.
 

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