Louisiana Sandusky records her feelings in a prayer journal to God.
April 8, 2003~
Dear God:
Do You have a minute that You can spare? I need to talk to You...
The children are driving me insane. It seems like every few seconds one or more call for my services or attention, and if I don't attend to their needs, they get mad at me.
Sometimes I wonder WHY I have been blessed the way I have; I don't think I deserve HALF of what You have so graciously given to Bill and myself; and You have proved Yourself in more ways than can be counted. In fact, Your Blessings have been very bountiful indeed, and I am indeed grateful; but even a mother needs a break every now and then!
The children are growing so fast, God, and it seems like they are getting ready to leave the nest. It seems hard to believe that all but the youngest child, Kwame', are in school already, and are growing smarter by the day. And Ronee', the other day, wanted me to take her shopping for a bra; and she has nothing to show for it; but she is heading towards puberty like a runaway freight train. And just the other day, she and I talked about that special time when she would become a woman (although she hasn't yet). Ten years old, and worrying about "grown- up things" when she should be enjoying her childhood. She doesn't have much time left to be a child, and it brings tears to my eyes because it seems like just only yesterday she was placed into my arms the first time, and she has left an indelible mark on my heart!
And Johnny is getting weaker by the day; and he has been having more in the way of problems with his breathing. Just the other day, we had to take him to the E.R. because he had some trouble with his breathing, and Dr. Emmons, his pediatrician, is growing concerned. He may need a tracheostomy before the year is out if this keeps up. It breaks my heart because Johnny is dying, and nothing much can be done to prevent it from happening. I have already lost three children; WHY must I end up losing another, especially a little boy like Johnathon? He is only ten years old; he doesn't deserve all this medical hell he is presently going through!
And I am a grandmother, three times over. I have two precious grandsons, and a lovely granddaughter, and Lightning has told me and Bill that there will be another child; she has informed us that she is pregnant (three months). I am too young; I am only going to be 34 years old in June! I am TOO YOUNG to be a GRANDMA!!
I have been so busy, what with working at my nursing job and taking care of my family, that I don't know which way to go. It seems that life for me is going at a maddening pace, and I need to stop and take a breather! WHEN am I going to get that break, God? I need HELP at times!
Thank You, God, for listening. I will be writing again in my prayer journal; it seems like the only time when I get some solace!
This was another wonderful story, poor Louissianna she needs a break with all those kids she cares for.
Gods Bless
~Michelle~
((((Hugs From Your Friend In Cali)
(((karen))) we all need a break...poor louisiana has got her hands FULL! love this tender, endearing story...kids grow up...as long as louisiana continues to lean on God, He'll direct her paths and help. thanks for writing this! ((((HUGS)))) and love, karla. :)
The familiar lament of dual-career parents raising children is, "I just can't do it all." The Libra Solution provides an alternative - a more satisfying and sustainable work and life approach - to the overwrought modern day norm.
The familiar lament of dual-career parents raising children is, "I just can't do it all." The Libra Solution provides an alternative - a more satisfying and sustainable work and life approach - to the overwrought modern day norm.
The familiar lament of dual-career parents raising children is, "I just can't do it all." The Libra Solution provides an alternative - a more satisfying and sustainable work and life approach - to the overwrought modern day norm.
