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Mitzi Kay Jackson

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Moon Secrets and Trains
by Mitzi Kay Jackson
Thursday, May 15, 2003



       
Recent stories by Mitzi Kay Jackson
· Shadows in Time
· Bone
· revised Wings
· The Bricks
· Based
· The Park Bench (a play)
· The Tye-Off
           >> View all 27


     Love you never know what shape or form it'll take, you never know if it'll be friend or foe.....You just never know
Dumbfounded, out-of-breath, out-of-energy and empty....just plain empty. Eyes as clear as a whistle but still left in blindness. Taking more strength than I thought I had I stood up and I hung the phone on it's reciever, everything went silent. The barking dogs down the street, the music and the young guys out front with their liquior and bud. I can't see in front of me and slowly but surely someone is pulling the floor from under me. Finally when I hit the bottom I break. The pain is one sharp blow to the head.In convulsion I AM IN CONVULSION on the inside.Just looking at me you couldn't tell but my bouls are releasing, my heart's in spasm and my brain anxious....then blown splattered inside of my head, the pressure cause my eyes to over flow and spill out all over myself. I lost my voice my mouth is open wide and I can't hear my own cries. I couldn't move, I couldn't stop breathing, I wouldn't stop breathing. I begged and pleaded with God but he wouldn't listen. I begged and pleaded, I know I can't take my own life...scard to....don't want my next life to be this bad. Why? but I know, I know

Three days later your brother finds me on the floor laying in my own shit and piss....and your honeymoon is cut short cause you had to rush back here to me on my way to the hospital. I hear your voice on the phone telling him to just put me in the shower, just clean her up, just clean up the place pay someone and that you'll be here that your on your way. But it's too late he called you after he had called the ambulance. You said you were on your way. Your words were the only ones I could make out.

At home laying in the bed I hear the door open and close all day,I see faces too. I knows it's late cause she is whispering to me....she is whispering that everything is going to be ok, that it is ok....that the pain will find away to escape, if I just let my grip go. She is whispering to me and she is telling me to let go of it...to losen my grip. You walk through the door, I see your face and my tears break free, the pain just bust right out of my chest and I can't control myself, my body is all moved by you, my arms open and swallow you.

Y ou kiss me, you kiss my eyes, my face, my tears and I swallow you. Ripping at my clothes and yours all fall free. And I hate you soooo much.Inside of me you bring me back to life your pushing love baby love inside of me and I am moving. I can't control myself and I am loving you. I want you to wrap the night around me, I want you to hold and squeeze me, and I can't control myself I bite you I kick and I try to scream I do scream I hate you!!! My voice is not my own and your blood feels so good to me. You turn me over and pin me down your inside of me and I am loving you and I am hating you.

This ticket in my hand, this midnight train ticket in my hand heading to nowhere is the only thing I have

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Reviewed by Muhammad Al Mahdi 5/23/2009
This is such a fine story. It crosses the borderlines between lyrics and prose, as it's the true language of the heart. (Of my heart, in any case.) You move everything in my soul.
Reviewed by Nordette Adams 3/29/2005
Mitzi, this is a strong, evocative, well, gut-wrenching write. It has a narrative that just won't quit. I found my hand on my chest as I read it. ~~Nordette
Reviewed by Aberjhani 3/21/2005
An emotionally taut interior voice with a tight stylistic form make this a good strong story.
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 11/6/2003
poignant work
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 8/18/2003
Wow baby, very intense. Hope it isn't autobiographical.

Ron
Reviewed by Nickolaus Pacione 7/16/2003
This is very thought/emotion-proking indeed. Sometimes one just has to walk away.
Reviewed by ShyPoet 1 5/21/2003
Some love is bad, and harmful. A powerful and intense testament to life. Patients, and a change of lover and/or environment can go a long way in the healing process sometimes. I agree, great last line. Walking away with nothing, is sometimes better than staying with everything.

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