M'buti Sormiento, aged 25 1/2, writes of the art of aging gracefully (and she feels that she is failing miserably; at 25 1/2, she feels more like 100, thanks to past or current health problems).
If I am only 25 and one half years old, then WHY do I feel like I am 100?
I am only 25, but I have been through things that most people shouldn't have to EVEN go through!
I am always so tired, and I feel like I am walking in a daze. If it isn't this fibromyalgia stuff I am having to deal with (and that is always a good reason for my being so tired and rundown a lot of the time), then it is having to clean up after a messy husband, two active babies (TWINS, yet!), and a toddler son who thinks he is part cheetah; he is NEVER still! In addition, I am on medications that make my head feel goofy and strange, and it is medications that I HAVE to be on, or I will be passing out every few minutes, thanks to my blood pressure being low; and that would NOT be a fun way to live! I am also disabled, and it is always tiring whenever I have to use my walking frame or my walking sticks, and the wheelchair doesn't help, either, especially if I have to push it by myself. My arms and shoulders get so darn sore by the time I am done it is all I can do to keep from crying!
If feeling my age is bad enough, then LOOKING it is worse. MUCH more so. I may be 25, but people think that I am an old person because I have wrinkles on my face, and I have pain lines etched between my eyebrows; it always looks like I am mad about something or frowning, like I ate something *NASTY*! People are always thinking I am an old person, and if we go to the Golden Corral for lunch or dinner, then people think I am a senior, and I get so mad whenever they do that! I am always having to show them my identification card, to show them that I am 25, NOT 55 or older! It gets SO annoying at times, more than I would care to admit! I also have started to get some grey in my hair, and that is NOT good when one is not even 30 years old yet!
People say that I have been "rode hard and put away wet", and I have NO idea what that means. What do they think I am..a HORSE??
Or there will be little kids, not much older than Jubaki, our oldest son, who will say really loud to their parents, "Wowee! Lookit that old lady in the chair!", and I want to go over there and HIT them, I get so mad! Don't people know how to THINK or use their heads right instead of just ASSUMING that I am OLD when I am NOT?? Do I really look THAT bad????
Then people wonder why I have such a poor self image of myself. Wouldn't YOU if you were in MY shoes??
It is bad enough to be disabled and in a wheelchair..but I think that I am ugly as sin, especially when people do NOT use their heads and make comments or stare at me. I am NOT a monkey; I am a HUMAN BEING, and I deserve to be treated as SUCH!
I wonder how life is going to be when I get to be 40 or even 50--if I live that long.....If it is this bad now, then I DON'T want to get old!
Heartbreaking in away but with a hint of humor and hope, keep up the great work God Bless
~Michelle~
Reviewed by serenety L
6/5/2003
Wonderful Karen. I am feeling for this poor girl. Somehow hope it's not a true story. Some people really do have to go through alot in life. That reminds me once more that my problems - a broken heart - are actually not worth being mentioned.
Lots of love.
S.
Reviewed by Tony Nerone
6/4/2003
Hi Karen, Excellent story! This unfortunate girl at least has children. I do not know what the disease with the F is, but it sounds terrible!
God Bless You My Friend
tony:)
Reviewed by Robert Blackwell
6/4/2003
Well done, as always...getting old is a real rhymes-with-"witch" but it beats the alternative.
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