A young woman battling mental illness realizes just how fortunate she is.
I have always wondered where my role in life was, and I have always wondered whether I belonged here or not.
Now, it seems that I have FINALLY found that answer. Truth is, I DO belong, and I DO have a purpose in life, even in my situation.
I am a young woman battling mental illness and also physical problems that are beyond my control. At the age of 13, I had a stroke, and I am still partially paralyzed on one side nearly 8 years later. I walk on Lofstrand crutches, and I tend to "slur" when I speak. It is embarrassing, but I have learned to live with it and go on. I also have emotional problems, and I have been in and out of mental hospitals more times than I would like to admit. I am ashamed of this part, but there were times where I have tried to kill myself, and I also tried to cut myself, more than once. I am now on antidepressant medication, and for once, life is FINALLY starting to turn around for me.
It is because my family has gotten me the help I so desperately needed, and I am also learning to become self sufficient and take care of myself and my sister, Diana, who so happens to live with me. (We share an apartment for disabled adults. We live only a few miles from our parents' house.) I also have the Love and Saving Grace of Jesus Christ, whom I accepted into my life about two years ago; and ever since, I have been going to a wonderful and dynamic church that preaches the Word and is definitely Spirit-filled. I do not work, as my disabilities prevent me from holding a job; but I DO get disability every month, and that helps with the bills. Plus Dianna is going to school to become a teacher for the blind. That is a lofty goal for her because she is blind herself, and she is NOT about to let her vision impairment stop her from getting the degree she so desperately wants! She is very determined, and if things go the way she plans, she WILL have that degree! Guaranteed!
Dianna and I get along famously, but she hates the way I cook. I am sorry I don't cook well, but at least I TRY! She ought to give me at least a LITTLE credit, here, folks! I have to do just about everything else because she can't see, and that can be a pain; but she is still my sister, and if she needs help, I will be there for her!
I think the main reason I am still here and not buried six feet underground is because of my Loving Saviour, and also the love and strength of my family and my sister, Dianna. All have been instrumental in helping me change my attitude around, and they have been instrumental in helping me get back onto my feet. Sure, I still do have my days where I am depressed, but thankfully, thanks to my medication and my family, those days are becoming fewer and fewer, and I am finally starting to have purpose and joy in my life.
I am a very fortunate person indeed, and I thank God for each and every day that I DO live! :O)
*~*~*Melizza Marie Elizabeth Sandusky, Written June 7, 2003, 4:51 p.m.
I just don't know how you can do this. You write stories and speak in so many voices; and each voice is so unique and so well-expressed. Good work indeed!
