A mother writes of her daughter, who is currently fighting for her life in the hospital.
Got the idea for this write while waiting at the hospital myself; karla and i were waiting out some storms that were traversing the area, and there were severe weather watches about. with no basements, we don't feel safe in the apartments we live in; the hospital, at least, has a partial basement, so this was why we went to the hospital.
I don't know if I can take much more of this.
The endless waiting, the endless questions, the fear of not knowing what is going to happen next or WHEN it is going to happen, the long, drawn out days and nights spent in the hospital...
My little girl, Jacinthe MicKayla, is here in the hospital, and she is currently very, very sick. She has bacterial meningitis, and she isn't doing very well at all. She is currently in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU), and she is in a very critical state. In fact, she is now in a coma (drug-induced, so she doesn't pull out the tubes, but still, a coma, just the same), and her signs have been very irratic at best. In fact, yesterday afternoon, her heart rate went up to over 200 beats per minute, and they had to shock her with paddles, to regulate it, not once, but twice; and now I am waiting for the bottom to fall out yet again. She went into the hospital last Tuesday, and she has been very slow to recover from her latest illness.
You see, Jacinthe MicKayla is a special child. She is just three and a half, only a little girl, but she has endured much heartache in her life. She has spina bifida and is just learning to get around on tiny forearm crutches and leg braces; and she also has other health problems. She is also deaf and has club feet and is paralyzed from the waist on down. She is very prone to sickness because her immune system has never been that strong, and her latest illness is proof of just that.
Even with all that she has been through, Jacinthe has been a Miracle and a blessing to me. She is my world, and she has brought the joy back into my life; and she has taught me what it means to have courage and strength in the face of impossible odds. She is very happy and carefree in nature, and I am sure if she could speak, she would be doing one of two things: laughing or singing. (She CAN make noise, but she doesn't speak except by sign language, which I have known since I took a course in college.)
I was married, but then Goeff (my ex) left me when we found out that the baby I was carrying inside of me had problems; "He couldn't deal with it", he told me. As you can very well imagine, I was crushed and hurt beyond belief, but then Jacinthe brought me back, and she has given me a purpose for living.
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It happened again..the Code Blue alarm sounded again; Jacinthe's heart acted up again; and they (the Code Team) had to tend to her. She is now in grave condition, and there is a team of doctors and nurses surrounding the bed. Jacinthe is unaware of what has been going on or what has been happening to her, but it IS disconcerting to see the look of fear and/or concern on the faces of the medical staff as they try to figure out what is going on with my little girl. And it is so disenheartening to see Jacinthe looking so sick and so vulnerable. She is totally naked, and lines and tubes are attached to her body; and it is hard to see her for all the tubes attached to her. She looks like she is asleep, but the pale, grey coloring of her skin and the tubes tell an entirely different story, and it is all very upsetting.
Looking at her being so sick is enough to make me want to cry; it isn't long before I do just that. A short nurse who is on a cane comes up to me and envelops me in a warm, caring hug, and I hug her back and start to cry harder. She then leads me out into the hall, and she sits with me as she lets me cry and talk. I tell her of all that Jacinthe has been through in her young life, and she looks at me with tenderness and concern in her dark eyes. She understands how I feel because she tells me that she has been down this road before with several of her OWN children, so she can understand the fear and uncertainty I am currently experiencing. She asks me if she can put Jacinthe's name on a prayer chain at her church, and I tell her to go on and do so; I could use all the prayers I can get, I then tell her. All the time we talk, she keeps a warm, loving hand on my shoulder, and she rubs my back. Her concern feels good, and I am glad that she is there with me.
intense, heartbreaking write capturing the turmoil the mother must be feeling--well done
(((((HUGS))))) and i'm looking forward to the continuation of this story
love,
karla. :)
Reviewed by Kate Clifford
6/14/2003
Terribly sad and well written. My mother is why I am alive today. I had spinal meningitis and if it had not been for her quick actions I would not be here today. i think awards should be given to the nurses that are there for us when we need them. i have had to deal with the loss of quite a few and most times there has always been a nurse there will loving arms.
oh!! karen this is a heartfelt.....chilly "freaking" write.......Why is it that so many people are suffering!!
I think there are tooo many sins around......but it never hits those who are cruel....it's always the innocent.....the caring......the loving....person who gets the kick in the gut!!!
This is SATAN on a mission to destroy every damn good thing inside of believers heart and mind...I hope and pray to God that this suffering will end soon......for all of us!!
And I hope your little girl Jacinthe will recover from this sickbed!!
Love
Tinka
Rovella is a beautiful woman with a cold heart whom blames herself for an unfortunate old family secret that is literally ruining her life. This secret impedes a gorgeous woman from having happiness in her childhood, and throughout her life. Dark sec
