An adolescent girl copes with the untimely death of her boyfriend, who suffered a sudden stroke and died.
I never thought I would lose him this way...
I still can't seem to wake up; it still seems like a bad dream that keeps on going on and on, like a broken record...It doesn't seem possible, but Eric is dead, and he was only 17 years old!
It seems funny how things happen. Only a month ago, Eric and I were enjoying the last remaining few days of school, just laughing and making plans on what we were going to do over the summer. He was the most handsome boy I had ever seen: tall, well-muscled, athletic, with curly, blonde-gold hair and magnetic-blue eyes, and a killer smile. He was on the school's football team, and he was very popular. I don't know what he saw in me, Caitlyn Tabitha DeGeneres, a short, mousy girl with nondescript brown hair and eyes, and bands on her teeth, but he was mine, and for that I was very grateful. I didn't have many friends as it was (I was viewed as a "nerd" by many of my peers), and so Eric's friendship was very precious to me.
Then came that horrible day, when I got that phone call that would change my life forever. It was Mrs. Traylor, Eric's mother. She was crying and was saying that Eric was in the hospital and that he was dying. I'll never forget the anguish in her voice.
At the hospital that day, I met up with Eric's family, and they were all upset. Eric's mom told me that she went to wake up Eric that morning, and he wouldn't get up, so she called for the paramedics; and they told her that he had suffered a stroke. He was in very bad shape, they said, and only time would tell as to whether he would recover.
I couldn't believe my ears. It didn't seem to make any sense. How could a guy who was an athlete have something as serious as a STROKE? And WHY would he have something like a stroke; I thought only strokes happened to old people who didn't exercise! I remember thinking. But that was exactly what had happened to Eric Traylor. According to the neurologist, a stern black doctor named Dr. Stryker, it was a bad one; Eric was presently in grave condition, and he was in a coma. There was no indication as to whether he would ever wake up or if he did, he would probably be seriously disabled.
I remember seeing Eric later that day in the NICU (Neuro Intensive Care Unit); and he looked awful, to say the very least. His once tan skin was now a sickly white color, and tubes and wires were attached to him everywhere. His eyes were closed, and a big, blue tube snaked from his mouth to a machine that breathed for him. He looked sick, and it scared the living hell out of me because this wasn't the Eric Traylor I knew!
I went up to him, and I grasped his hand in mine; and I cried in spite of myself. I tried my hardest to quell the tears, but I found out that I could not. Eric was very sick, and he was possibly dying; and I didn't want to lose him. I said a quick prayer to God, and I hoped that He was listening; but I knew that it was out of my hands. It was up to God whether Eric survived. All I could do right now was pray and hope for the best.
That wasn't to be because later that night, Eric died. He was just 17 years old, and there had been too much in the way of damage to his brain.
The following few days were spent with his family, making arrangements for his funeral, and as for the funeral itself, I really don't remember much except the sight of his family crying; and all I could do there was stand there and not do much to comfort them. When it came to be too much to bear, I bolted from the sanctuary of the church, and I ran outside, where I threw up. I then passed out; whether it was from nerves or fear, I don't know, but I reacted very badly.
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Now it has been several weeks later since that horrible time, and I still find myself walking in a daze. I keep hoping that this is a bad dream, but I no longer see Eric, and I really miss him. I haven't really talked to his mother or family; I have seen them, but each time I have, I have only clammed up, and I go the other way. I am scared to death to say anything to them, for fear that I will say the wrong thing and end up embarrassing myself.
I have been incredibly sad, and I still somehow can't seem to stop thinking about Eric. He was my life for the past year, and he and I did so many fun things together! He cared about me and my feelings, and he always managed to stick up for me when the other kids were making fun of me. Not many people went THAT far to help me through school, but Eric Ryan Traylor did, and I guess this was why I looked towards him as my saviour. Sure, he may have been popular, and yes, he may have been a terrific athlete, but he was a person who had a big heart, and he cared for others. He was always doing something to help those kids who had been bullied or picked on, and he was always jovial; he always had a smile on his face, and he could be counted on to cheer you up when you most needed a friend to talk to.
I may have been a nobody to most people, but to Eric Traylor, I mattered, and I guess this was why his death hit me so hard. He didn't deserve to die so suddenly as he did, and he deserved to have a long and happy life! Now he was gone, and nothing I could do could ever bring him back! He was as dead as dead could be, and I still find myself in mourning. I don't know if I can ever get over it because he sure meant the world to me!
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In Memory of: Eric Ryan Traylor--1986-2003.
*~*~*I will never forget you, and I will always love you with all my heart and soul! Thank you for being there for me when I needed a friend!*~*~*
A very sad story Karen. It makes me think about my granddaughter Suzan, she lost her boyfriend 18 months ago in a car crash. They were about to become engaged. She was heartbroken too. I work as a voluntary Dysphasic speech therapist and one of the stroke patients I have been working with is called Eric, but he is in his eighties!
Reviewed by Robert Blackwell
7/14/2003
A very heartbreaking story, Karen. As always, an excellent write.
Britain 2099: people with disease and disabilities are not tolerated. When Travis is discovered to have epilepsy, he is put away in one of the feared institutions. Then he discovers his seizures are powerful enough to send him back in time, and that'
