An update on the little boy featured in the story, "The Sickest Baby In The N.I.C.U." He is still in the hospital, but he is doing much better. He is about to be released to go home.
Unfortunately, he has some significant signs of brain damage and stiffness in his limbs.
Brandon is now nearly 4 months old.
This is Lisa Rochelle Jiminez.
You may not remember me, but I was the young mother who wrote about her son, Brandon, who was born 4 months too early. He should have been born in a few weeks, but he was born way before his due date, and because of it, he was born very sick and fighting for his little life.
He nearly died at least a half a dozen times; and each time, we feared he wouldn't pull through; but somehow, through an unexplained miracle, he did, baffling doctors with his tenacity and will to survive.
I wrote about how he suffered during one of his codes, and how I cried when "I saw his little chest all punctured and bloody, and his mouth open in what appeared to be a scream". He was in pain, but he couldn't cry because of the respirator tube stuffed into his mouth, but you could definitely tell that he was clearly hurting, and you could definitely tell that he was NOT at ALL happy. It broke my heart in two when I saw my precious little boy suffering at the hand of doctors who were only trying to save his life; and at times I was angry at them for hurting Brandon. I wondered why they had to work on him so roughly and handle him like a piece of beef instead of a fragile human baby who was born way too small to survive on his own. He was a human being, and he deserved to be treated with compassion and gentle care.
Yet, even despite that horrible memory, my little boy managed to pull through, and he is still alive, nearly 3 months later. He is now approaching four months old, and while he is still very small, he still looks more like a baby and less like a little alien from outer space. He is incredibly beautiful, looking just like his daddy, Marco. He has huge brown eyes that miss very little, and a headful of bushy, black hair. He is very cute.
Still, this doesn't hide the hurt that still is prevalent in my eyes. For, you see, little Brandon is not the perfect baby boy I had envisioned: he has some signs of "stiffness" in his limbs, and he is showing signs that he is brain-damaged. He will probably be physically handicapped in some way, and the very thought absolutely terrifies me. This is our first baby, and we aren't sure on how we are going to be able to handle him anyway, but now that he is showing signs of being handicapped, the fear is only compounded.
I do have good news, in light of all this negativity, however: he is about to go home from the hospital! He is about to enter life as a normal baby, and we will, at long last, be a complete family! How many times I had stood by his empty bassinette, crying for hours, crying and hoping for that day where we would finally bring him home from the hospital! Now that day was fast approaching, and even though I am giddy, I am, at the same time, fearful.
Brandon will be going home with a breathing monitor, to alert us if he should happen to stop breathing, and both Marco and I have completed an infant CPR class, so we can help our son in the event that he should stop breathing. He will also be going home on supplimental oxygen; he will need it until his lungs mature and get stronger. He seems to be a normal baby, but his physical signs and the oxygen tell us otherwise, and I wonder what my friends will say when they first see him. Will they accept him, or will they shy away in horror? Will they see me as a bad mother because I didn't have him as soon as most mothers who had full-term babies? Will they blame ME for his problems if he has any?
Will Brandon remember ANY of his hospital stay? Will he remember the pain he was subjected to every day or the noise from all the monitors attached to him as they monitored his vital signs? Will he remember the loud buzzes when someone "crashed" or "coded", and will he have fear of loud noises because of this? I often wonder what his life will be like as a little boy, and I hope to God he somehow doesn't end up palsied or in a wheelchair, unable to hold his little head up. This is the image I see most, and it puts terror into my heart because I am scared that my little angel will end up like that.
I can only pray to God and hope for the best for Brandon, that this doesn't happen.
Time will only tell. But the main thing now is getting our Angel Boy home, HOME, where he belongs!
You never cease to amze me with these wonderful stories and the emotions put into them, you are a powerful writer, keep up the great work>
God Bless
~Michelle~
Rovella is a beautiful woman with a cold heart whom blames herself for an unfortunate old family secret that is literally ruining her life. This secret impedes a gorgeous woman from having happiness in her childhood, and throughout her life. Dark sec
This is Lisa Rochelle Jiminez.
