Bill Sandusky writes his feelings about the past several years when he and his wife of 13 years took in many special-needs children to create a unique (if slightly "large") family.
Quite often, we are stopped on the street by people, but it is an occurance we have learned to handle--and cope with.
Well-meaning people are instantly drawn to my wife and myself because of several factors, but the main one is this: we are the parents of a large group of children, many of them adopted--and many of them "special-needs".
People are naturally curious creatures anyway by nature, and this is espeically true whenever they see us in public. We have many kids in our family, and it is very obvious to many people that most do not even resemble us. We are as different from them as night is to day, and a good majority of them have disabilities you can't very easily hide (plus we, the parents, are both physically disabled, ourselves). They can't believe that we have adopted so many children, especially children with special needs, and they often wonder if we are either crazy by nature or just plain stupid for taking in so many children!
Sometimes, people mean well, but their views on adoption are learned improperly. That is, they haven't done their homework. They learn about adoption from movies or tv shows they may have seen (many, of which, have a false, prefabricated outlook: many adopted people are seen as failures, prone to criminal activity, or maladjusted), and people automatically seem to think that ALL adopted people are like what is oftentimes portrayed in movies or on tv.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Instead of reading books about adoption or learning about adoption from the Internet, or from talking with parents who have adopted children, people often get this distorted, prefabricated notion of what they feel adoption is, and all too often, somebody's feelings are apt to get hurt in some way.
Some people are also "picky" or choosy when it comes to adopting a certain child. Most people want healthy infants. This has been the main focus ever since people first started adopting: it is a fact of life. But, unfortunately, in the real world, NOT all children in need of a home or a family are healthy, and NOT all are certainly white. There are plenty of multiracial (biracial), older, or special-needs children out there in immediate need of a home or a family, and many are languishing in foster care or orphanages around the world.
Therre are plenty of kids with disabilities or behavioral issues that are in need of loving families, or kids who are part of a brother/sister group (But, for some reason, cannot be separated). Or there are kids who are terminally ill (such as those with AIDS or cancer, as two examples), and nobody is willing to give these kids a chance.
This is why, after we received a "Calling" from God Above (and then praying and fasting over it after we buried the last of our three birth children), we pursued adoption--and ended up getting blessed in such a way that boggles the imagination even years later. Little did we know what we were getting ourselves into, and little did we know tht the children we took in as our own would make such an incredible impact in our lives.
From our first adopted children (who have now been with us for nearly 11 years; it will be 11 years in March of 2004) to the most recent additions (Kwame', Sergei, Michelle, and Megan), each and every child who has entered our lives has made quite a significant impact in our lives.
For example, Gemini (now growing into a lovely young woman on the edge of teenagerhood) continues to be a medal-winning young dancer/gymnast, while Jodie, now 12 years old, continues to add to her growing vocabulary after years of not being able to communicate, due to having cerebral palsy coupled with mental retardation.
Johnny, who isn't expected to live much longer than 2 years at the most, continues to grow in Christ, and he continues to reach out to others with a sense of courage not often found in most children his age. And Ronee': she, too, continues to minister to others about Jesus, even with being in incredible pain due to juvenile rheumatoid arthritis (and having recently having knee replacement surgery that severely curtailed her summertime plans: she spent a great deal of her summer in her wheelchair, her knee in an orthopedic brace). She is now about healed from her surgery, and is returning to her usually active self (and is getting around better on her crutches better than she has in a very long time; in fact, it is now impossible to keep up with her at times!).
And finally (but certainly NOT least!), there is Kwame', who is about to start pre-school next month. He is now nearly four years of age, and is doing very well from having nearly died last year from open-heart surgery. (He still faces at least several more surgeries in the coming years.)
It is incredible how God has intervened in each of our children's lives; and it is incredible how He has been there in the midst of their trials. Even though we many have felt that He was far away, He somehow reminded us that He is close at hand; this was especially true when our children were so very sick and appeared to be on the brink of death (Johnny's 2 bouts of meningitis, or his severe epileptic seizures that often impeded with his breathing, Ronee''s stroke, accident when she was a toddler that damaged her one knee [no, NOT the one she had replaced, by the way; her other knee], or numerous breathing crises, or Robertito and Kwame's near-fatal heart surgeries and complications following the surgeries).
When our children lay in their beds, hooked up to tubes and machines keeping them alive, and we felt at our lowest point, God came to us and showed us in a concrete, yet powerful way that He was by our side, and He was watching over our sick little ones. He was keeping them safe and protected. We saw Him at our children's bedside, and we saw Him minister His Healing Power over their stricken bodies.
Our children haven't been the same since; we feel this is one reason why they have recovered from their crises so well. God has a plan for each and every one of these precious children.
We may have had many questions asked by people about our kids (and yes, it MAY get annoying at times--more than we really would like to admit!--), but looking back on our years as parents have far outweighed the negatives, and the answer to the title of this story is becoming easier and easier as the years fly by. It is all because of a Loving and Merciful God. He was the One who gave us our children, and He is The Reason why we are parents.
Nowadays, whenever people ask us "Are those ALL your children?", we can hold our heads up high and proudly say an emphatic "YES!" Our children are most definitely OURS, and nothing in the world can EVER change that!
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Reviewed by Susan Barton
8/6/2003
Super story!
Reviewed by Kate Clifford
8/5/2003
Thank you for another beautiful sharing of a family full of love.
I love it, Karen! My daughter used to work in a place for handicapped people. She loved it.... great story...
In Spirit,
Reviewed by serenety L
8/5/2003
Wonderful story Karen. So right - there are so many children out there is this world who are special, even if they are handicapped and who deserve a home and loving environment.
Good one
Nico
Reviewed by Vesna Perkovic
8/5/2003
I can relate to this ..having given birth to six children( three of each gender) I have gone through hell and back..it's heaven NOW...and yes we were always asked ?Are those all your children?...I am pleased to say YES, they are!!
Well written...bravo Karen!
excellent! not everyone can take care of children (witness all of the horror stories you hear of child abuse and neglect), but those that take care of children with special needs...ahhhh, those are angels on earth
I admire people with the patience and reserve that these people have. Yes there are so many needy children out in the world and they do need care. My father had eight of them and didn't care. Not one single hand did he lift to help take care of his children. And you have people who will take other peoples children. Yes they are to be admired. Nice story Karen. hugs G
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Quite often, we are stopped on the street by people, but it is an occurance we have learned to handle--and cope with.
