Lindsay Maureen Bower wanted to update us on her life; so here she is. As you can see from the following, she is feeling pretty down in the dumps.
Hi! Remember me?
If not, let me clue you in. I wrote earlier, just right after Labor Day. I wrote about being at the Muscular Dystrophy telethon and bitching about it because I didn't want to be there. I was feeling sorry for myself.
I was bitching because I have only had to live with my disease for a year now, and I wasn't having an easy time of it (still aren't at times; I DO have my pity-party days!), and I didn't want to be around people who were "sick" like me.
Well, it ended up that I had the time of my life. I suddenly realized that I don't have it so bad, and there were people there who were dying and wouldn't live to become adults. I had a neuromuscular disease as well (PMA, or progressive muscular atrophy; it is like a milder form of Lou Gehrig's disease, and the progression isn't as rapid or severe), and because of it, I am in a wheelchair and need help with doing things for myself. Compared to some of the people I met, my future suddenly started looking pretty rosy.
To give you a brief overview about myself, I am a new resident of Nashville, having only been here for just about two months now. I moved to Nashville in late July/early August; I left New York City because I didn't want to be around when the second anniversary of the terror attacks on September 11, 2001, came, for fear we would be attacked again. I lost my two older brothers, both firefighters, in the terror attacks, and my life has changed forever (but even more so when I was diagnosed with this damn PMA). My brothers were helping rescue people from the twin towers when the towers collapsed, and my brothers were killed. Their names were Chuck and Josh, and I still miss them today; I still can't believe it has been two years since they died.
I live with a lady named Tracey Ross, who acts as my caretaker. She helps me with my personal needs, and she is very good at helping with my needs. She never complains, and she and I are so much alike in personality. I think that is one reason we get along so well.
I am not bad looking, once you can get past the fact that I am fat, in a wheelchair, and can't walk much. I have long auburn hair that I wear in a ponytail, brown eyes, and have never been married. Oh, I had a boyfriend, but then the motherfucker dumped me when I was told I had PMA; "he couldn't deal with it", he told me. STUPID POMPOUS BASTARD. I was so depressed when Ian left; I thought he loved me! Just because I have this g.d. disease, he abandons me, and then people wonder why I am so g.d. depressed a lot of the time!
Since Ian left, I don't trust very many people, and I don't like to talk about my life. I especially don't like to talk about September 11, 2001: I saw it happen, and I still can't believe they haven't gotten the masterminds behind the attacks! Just to think that they still are out there makes me ill, and I don't know why more isn't being done to find these evil, no-account bastards or to protect our nation in a more effective way. They killed my brothers, and then people tell me to get over it? I CAN'T get over it!! I HATE those bastards who did this, and I hope they are happy with themselves over what they did because they sure shot my life to hell!
I really haven't been doing much since going to the telethon; just staying home or looking for work; but so far, nobody has called from the places where I left applications. I am really starting to get discouraged. I wish I could talk to Louisiana Sandusky, but she is busy with her own life and with HER work, and I don't really want to be a bother. She is the only one who has cared enough; she talks to me weekly, but I tell her everything is going well, when obviously it isn't; I am NOT working yet, and I am getting bored out of my skull! I don't want to lie to her, but I don't want her to feel sorry for me!
I will write more later; I think I just pissed in my pants. I feel wet all of a sudden; I HATE it when that happens!!
A poignant story about letting go of a narcissist in your life. Have you ever been attacked FULL force by a narcissist? It's the closest thing to being stabbed over and over in the back.
A poignant story about letting go of a narcissist in your life. Have you ever been attacked FULL force by a narcissist? It's the closest thing to being stabbed over and over in the back.
A page-turning novel about a relationship between best friends that is interrupted because of betrayal , deceit, sexual promiscuity and pregnancy happens!
