Kindle Edition

Category:  Humor
ISBN-10:  B01L160P8I/

Forest Gump brought us the immortal words, “Life is like a Box of Chocolate.” Rather interesting metaphor for life, wouldn’t you say? In many respects, Forest was right. Life is like a box of chocolates, but whether your life is like a frozen box of chocolates or a gooey, melted box of chocolates is open for debate.
Now if you are one of those persons that fall into the frozen area then you find everything you hear and see hard to chew on. You gnaw away like there is no tomorrow until your gums hurt or you give up and spit the whole mess out as just too damn much trouble for whatever little pleasure or insight you might gain.
But if you fall into the gooey melted area of life’s observation gallery, then everything is all blended together and you don’t really give two cents about what you see or hear because it’s all pretty much BS anyway-or you fall for the BS like a kid in a candy store. Gooeyness is a two-edged confectionery knife so to speak.
Then there are, those Gumpnites with their box of chocolates who take a chance on eating that perfect almond blend, hoping to avoid those cherry filled mess making no account gelatinous awful delights, you know, the ones you pick out of the box a thousand times although you know you hate them.
Kind of like a little mental torture test you put yourself through just to see if your taste buds are paying attention to you.
Now I view myself as a semi-gooey box of chocolates. I realize this was not one of the choices I offered. Nevertheless, since I am writing this, I can take metaphoric liberty if I want to. After all, what is liberty if not a metaphoric state of choices anyway.
I have decided to entitle this collection of mine “Uncommon Notions.,” which may seem a rather strange title for a work of short stories, but in reality every short story is an uncommon notion and every uncommon notion is like a box of chocolate. I’ll get off the metaphoric merry-go-round for a while, before I give you and me both a headache.
I have become feed up with social and political correctness. Talk about changing subjects in mid retort; but then again I am making this up as I go a long so bear with me. There is a point to all this; I just have not figured out what that point is yet.
I want to laugh, I want to poke fun at others and myself without having to worry about being sued or beheaded. Forgive me if I am right, but we have become so tight cheeked that we whistle when we walk, afraid to say this or that for fear that the big bad moral police will grab us up and place us in a reeducation program or on State Assistance, which for the most part is one and the same. It seems every time you turn around, someone is suing someone for defamation of character, slander, and a host of other verbal contemplations that defy the charter of free speech.
Let me remind you that I am aware that free speech does not mean you are free to say whatever you want. Speech is limited by intent; in reality free speech means you are free to get sued or arrested for what you say- and in some places beheaded.
However, everybody is hell-bent on suppressing their own rights by means of monetary reformation. Ready-made social horror flick staring Dr. Keynes as Mr. Friedman. I wonder has free speech become an economic apartheid.
We go Spike Lee suing Spuds Makinsey, or where it Spike Lee suing everyone with spiked hair not sure. Let’s be reasonable. Who in the hell would ever associate Spike Lee with anyone with spiked hair?
Come on, do you really think Spike Lee would jump into a “mosh” pit with three hundred tweaked out neo-Nazis or their socially productive Black clad belly button ringed, raving moguls of self-indulging idealism-not on your life.
I can’t think of anyone who would want to see Spike jumping into a “Mosh “pit outside of Condoleezza rice, that is. I am certain Spike would like to throw Rice in the pit. Being the gentleman he is and of course the price he would pay for such an act would be unbearable even for someone of his finical well-being; and, believe me, he is financially well off.
However, I can imagine Al Sharpton coming to Condoleezza rescue at seeing our hypothetical Lee dangling our hypothetical Rice over a hypothetical “Mosh pit”, filled with hypothetical liberty spiked haired American citizens exercising their free speech. Al would probably say something to this effect.
“Hold on brother don’t throw her in there, there is already way too much White on Rice!”