Wicked Ink Press
Wicked Ink Press
Category:
Humor
Publisher: Wicked Ink Press
Pages: 36
ISBN-13: 9781936372041
When master baker Imogene Spunkwuzzle goes on strike, the future grooms of Crabapple grove balk.
Charlie Whatnot’s impending union to Penelope Rose has lost its luster. Any groom in Crabapple Cove will tell you that the best part of the wedding is the groom’s cake served at the reception, but master baker Imogene Spunkwuzzle has gone on strike until someone replaces her stove.
Charlie’s friends understand his despair, and they conspire to raise cash by submitting a story to Gentlemen’s Weekly, that entertaining bachelor magazine filled with fictional delights. Unfortunately, Charlie’s not a writer, and the story he comes up with is based too closely on a comical mishap that occurred on the courtroom steps, a mishap that’s recognized by the editor of GW—the victim was his mother.
Oblivious to the peril, Charlie makes the mistake of telling Penelope about his anticipated cash infusion. The girl can’t understand what the fuss is about and insists that the money be used for a down payment on a new home. The couple part and the wedding is off.
Penelope sets her sights on Charlie’s friend Walter, much to Walter’s dismay. Getting Imogene back in the kitchen takes top priority.
Through a bit of finagling and a lot of luck, the wedding comes off, Imogene supplies the groom’s cake, and Charlie learns the value of friendship.
Excerpt
“Of course, we changed most of the facts. No one will ever recognize the real story.”
Charlie and Walter related their quasi-fictional tale. What they didn’t realize was that, both of them lacking original thought, the final story resembled the actual story to a disturbing degree.
“What we’ve got here is a nosy old bat who goes to City Hall to complain about her neighbors.”
“Their television is too loud,” Walter interjected. “Though we haven’t yet determined why she thought City Hall was the best place to go. But it’s based on a true story, and we have to assume that the readers will draw their own conclusions.”
“Anyway,” Charlie continued, “she’s so obnoxious that the clerk ignores her and takes every person within reach before her. And when there’s no one else left to wait on, he closes his window and juggles some paperweights. You know, just to make sure the old fussbudget is clear on the point that he’s not about to spend his time listening to her yowl. She bangs on the window and shouts, turning redder and redder with each attempt to get his attention. Then--and here’s the zinger--she turns in a huff to leave, intent on filing a complaint with the local police.”
“Which really is where she should have gone in the first place,” Walter said.
“Only, on her way out, she trips over a small dog and down she goes.”
“I gave her an extra few bounces,” Walter added, proud of his contribution
“That’s not a very nice story,” Tip said.
“But it’s funny,” Charlie protested.
“And it actually happened,” Walter added. “Without the extra bounces, of course.”
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