The intention of writing this guidebook has been to bring to light how you may maintain your poise (balanced, preparedness) while transforming the personal runway of your life, regardless of what odds seem to be placed against you.
Throughout our lives, we face difficult moments that require us to keep our poise and balance. If we allow our poise to falter, we lose our footing on the path that we desire. Learning how to keep our poise is the purpose of this book.
Inevitably, in our lives, we are going to face times when we experience disappointments. It is during these times that poise becomes especially important. Without it, the emotional and mental effects of the situation might become too much for us to bear. With poise, we can, not only cope with the situation, but also overcome it and become stronger. My life has been a series of events, some wonderful and some full of disappointment. In both situations, it has been my poise that has allowed me to see the path that I needed to be on and become who I am today.
It is my belief that my story would not be as profound as it is without the help of God and my faith in his glory. It is impossible for us to stay poised without faith in something much greater than ourselves because it is only this faith that provides us with the knowledge that we need that everything will turn out as it should that allows us to stay poised. During the last decade, I have known this faith stronger than I could have ever expected as it has helped take me through a divorce, my rebirth into a new career and a new life and my experience with my son’s drug use and his power to overcome it and succeed in his own life.
Through everything, I have used my poise to help shape my life, allowing myself to become stronger than I ever expected. Today, I am a mother of six, a professional model and a life coach. This book tells the story of how I came to be living in my childhood dream, surrounded by strength, beauty and faith and provides a roadmap for others who desire to find their poise and succeed in their own dreams.
Excerpt
Chapter I
The Runway of Your Life – The Transition
“An underlying urge to self-transformation possibly lies at the basis of all existence, finding expression in the process of growth, development, renewal, directed change, perfection.”
- Lewis Mumford (1895-1990)
Ready for Takeoff
An airplane flying high into the blue skies may experience turbulence during its flight. Depending on the air turbulence encountered, the pilot may have to make corrections in the flight plan to ensure that the plane transitions smoothly from takeoff, into a safe flight, and a safe landing. Once the landing process starts, the pilot makes a smooth transition, switches gears, lowers the landing wheels, and lands the plane safely on the ground. Air traffic control grants approval for the plane to land. The ground crew uses flags to guide the plane to a safe final landing. The plane will have completed a transition from takeoff, completing the flight plan, to finally returning to the ground. Some of the passengers on the plane will have arrived at their destination. Others may have connecting flights. Some passengers may stay on the plane until they arrive at their final destination.
When we fly high in our lives, we may come across bumps in the road. It may not be the right time for us to reach the specific destination we have in mind. We may be disappointed, but what seems to be a disappointment can cause us to reflect on what is needed for a smooth transition in our lives. This can be an opportunity for us to welcome a new start. It has been said that life's disappointments are often a new appointment in God’s timing. Generally, we do not immediately see the ultimate results of changes we make to improve ourselves. Rather, they become visible as we make solid changes in our thinking, which ultimately becomes our mindset.
Transition is related to transformation. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word transition as: “passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another: change.” Whereas, the definition of the word transform is: “to put or change into an improved form or condition; to amend or improve by change of form or removal of faults or abuses.” Thus, we must often make transitions in our lives before they become transformed. Ponder how you make the transitions in your life, whether they are smooth or if they create turbulence in your life. Ask yourself if you are focusing on the negative or the positive aspects of your soul’s journey. Do you practice in fear, or with faith in God and yourself, knowing you are capable of making changes in your world? Whether you experience a smooth, safe transition is based on the choices you make, which are yours alone.
Recently, I was speaking at a homeless shelter in Atlanta, Georgia, when a mother stood up and asked me, “Why did you decide to make the transition when you filed for a divorce from a twenty-one year marriage with six children?” My sense of humor got the best of me. Without hesitation, I answered, “I filed for a divorce to keep from going to prison for murder!” Trust me, the thought of murder briefly went through my mind to escape the abuse in the relationship. Yet I sought another solution. In truth, I had already been living in a mental prison within the four walls of my home and the confines of my marriage. It was time for me to claim my freedom. I had to change my mindset and renew my thoughts daily to get out of the situation with a sound mind. My ex-husband was a millionaire at the time. We lived in a huge home with brand new furniture and expensive cars. He gave me two thousand dollars a month to take care of the children and myself. When he found out I had filed for divorce, he closed my bank account. He threatened me daily about filing for child custody. My attorney obtained a restraining order to prevent my husband from speaking to me, but it was not over yet. I still had to live in the home with him for six months. This was a major transition for me.
After recognizing and weighing the potential outcomes, I made the decision to claim my freedom – the freedom I have (we all have) to create my new world. My children deserved a new world without the negative drama that was being played out by their parents. My decision was based on a desire to improve our lives overall – emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally. After examining my fears, I made a list of each fear. I noted everything I could think of related to each one that could be keeping me from moving forward. Then I confronted each fear independently. The greatest fear for me was the fear of the unknown. Where I was living was keeping me in a state of mental confusion, not knowing what path to take. This is when I learned I had to step out, one foot at a time, and then move forward in faith. With one child grown and five children still at home, I wondered: “How will I be able to raise five children alone? Would my children ever understand why I dissolved my marriage and broke up our home?” It was only when I replaced my fears with faith that I was able to move forward. There will always be someone around you who is materialistic. For me, it was my Aunt who told me I would never be able to rise to the same standard of living again, but this was my choice alone. When I was oppressed and unable to express my true self, material possessions became just “stuff.” Money lost its importance. Who was I? Without knowing it, somehow I had lost myself. Still, once the six-month waiting period was up, I was free to live and be happy again. As I left my ex-husband, he said: “You think you are grown. You are going to find out how the real world is very soon.” I said to myself, “I am ready and able to embrace it!”
It took years after the end of my marriage for me to permanently change the negative mental patterns I had built up within me. However, as each layer was discovered, it unraveled down to the core, helping me to discover the new me. This is an exercise that helped me. I found a pencil and piece of paper, and then drew a line down the center of the page. On one side of the paper, I wrote down all the negative traits I knew about myself, most of which had been pointed out by my ex-husband. On the other side I wrote down what I felt my responses to him would have been if I had not been afraid to respond. This exercise helped release me from waking up daily hearing his negative statements floating in my head. At the time, I was willing to do whatever it took to claim my freedom. I had to be the biggest supporter of Carol.
Frederick Douglas taught black men and women who were free slaves that wanted to claim their freedom in America, to press toward their freedom. Contemplate his words in his quote:
“Without a struggle, there can be no progress.”
–Frederic Douglas, Former Slave (1818-1895)
One of my biggest challenges was to make the decision that it was in my best interest to choose to leave the marriage. After pulling out all the stops to make the marriage work, I recognized that this was a choice I was going to have to make to be able to enjoy the progression of my life as a child of God. This was a very difficult process for me. I viewed my marriage as my comfort zone, but through this process I recognized that in reality, it had become a prison for me.
It has been over a century since Frederick Douglas taught the free slaves how to make conscious changes for freedom. Now, this is a new day for all of us. We can make conscious choices to create change in our lives.
Making the Demonstration
Once I decided to change, I encountered negative thoughts. For example, when I decided to lose weight, I craved sugars more than I ever did before! Temptations were upon me daily. It was crucial for me to stay focused on the positive results I wanted to achieve. If you allow yourself to become distracted, focus too much on the negative, or lack consistency, you will not reach your goals.
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word demonstration as: “showing or explaining something by carrying out experiments or making known by carrying out a process in public.” It was my intent to demonstrate making a transition from twenty-one years of marriage to single life. Dr. Stuart Grayson defines demonstration as: “the manifestation of a tangible effect giving evidence to a cause that has been initiated through spiritual mind treatment and its healing process.” (“Spiritual Healing,” p. 244) To make my demonstration, I focused first on my intended actions. My objective was to gain my independence. My first step was to obtain a divorce. Taking the action of filing the divorce papers was the first step in manifesting this. I then visualized my world and my future in freedom and in faith, one day at a time. There had to be a mental vision, a plan in place for me before I could demonstrate my liberty, which would allow me to become who I wanted to be.
To successfully demonstrate my personal transition, I had to understand and accept my own value. Author John Maxwell asks us to consider: “How many times have you heard people say, ‘He has issues’? What this means is that the person is stuck. The person is not healthy. He's got a hang-up. He's uncomfortable in his own skin. It's what we psychologists are getting at when we talk about self-acceptance.” (“25 Ways to Win with People,” p. 5)
We all have issues in our lives that we need to recognize and acknowledge. We must then move forward through them. In my case, my issue was being stuck in my marriage – within my soul, my spirit, and my body. My plan of action included a strategy to help me achieve a new, positive thought pattern that released me from the negative baggage from my marriage. Ultimately, I needed to learn to love me, for me, and not feel bad about it anymore. Where are you stuck? What steps do you need to take to make the changes you desire in your life, or to remove yourself from a negative situation?
Do you feel the desire to change but have too much fear to move forward? My good friends, “The Latin root for acceptance means 'to take care of oneself.' Acceptance of others means you accept yourself!” (“25 Ways to Win People,” p. 5) Can you truly say to yourself, “I accept and love myself for who I am, for me,” “I consider myself my top priority,” and believe it as your truth? Know that if you do not take care of yourself, you can be of no good to others. If you cannot make these statements to yourself in truth, then you need to examine how you will poise (position, balance, put into readiness) yourself to be aligned with the idea of accepting yourself as you are.
Transformation is about desires, intention, choice, and the acceptance of the responsibility of your part in the process. “Poise for the Runway of Your Life,” introduces an avenue to you that will support you as you emerge into your own personal transition with ease and grace.
Who Are You?
Ernest Holmes, Co-founder of Religious Science, stated, “At all times, a Practitioner must have a vision of peace.” (“Love and Law,” p. 198) Where is your vision? To manifest peace within your vision, you must have poise, which comes inevitably as you recognize who you are (your spiritual identity) and what you are (a child of God). Combining this poise with the conscious awareness of the power we are using will in itself give birth to peace. Peace, poise, and power will manifest our desires into our reality. Once we know who we are, we then become empowered within our soul. This will then manifest, “The peace of God, which passeth all understanding.” (Philippians 4:6, KJV) To activate this empowerment, we must give ourselves permission to use the power we possess from within to be all we can be. Can you do this? No human being can give you this authority. You must claim it for yourself. To do this, you must look deep within your soul. Stop right now and ask yourself:
Do I really know who I am?
What am I in the Universe?
What is my purpose on this earth?
The answers to all of these questions was unknown to me when I first started transitioning into the status of being a single parent after being married, and from being solely a homemaker to manifesting a career outside the home.
Be honest with yourself! Take the time to ponder these questions. During your daily meditation, search inwardly, deep within your physical structure. Envision your physical makeup (cells, blood, bone structure, organs, DNA, etc.). Now observe how you can feel the invisible soul housed within your physical body. Take a deep breath, pause, and reflect on your internal body. Become consciously aware of Spirit in your life. As a creation of the Mind of God, tap into the Source of the Almighty Power through meditation! Envision the rays of light streaming into your body and the vibrations connecting you to the Light above. Raise your level of consciousness with Love – the highest vibration. Then, add grace, peace, power, and above all – poise. Say to yourself out loud, in a firm demonstration of belief, “I am Spirit and Spirit is me – always.” So it is! You and the Mind of God are one. Say aloud right now: “I am Spirit. The Mind of God and I are one.” Follow your own path to peace within yourself with the changes you make in your thinking.
“But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.” (Psalms 1:2, KJV) As you carry out your spiritual practice, increase your affirmative prayers with meditation day and night as David instructs. You will come to know who you are and your purpose. Ask for the answers. They will be revealed to you as you demonstrate your faith and trust in God.
Poise, Posture, Inner Balance
Author and teacher of metaphysics, Raymond Charles Barker gives a clear, precise statement of truth when he states, “My inner wisdom maintains me in poise and in true authority over my experiences.” (“Spiritual Healing for Today,” p. 94) I ask you to stand within this poise, this balance of truthfulness. This is referred to as “standing in your truth.” There are a variety of ways you can stand in a correct posture to prepare yourself for your transformation onto the runway of your life. Examine your highest goals. What are your truths about them? An example of posture in my life is: I want to start my own business within three years. I am putting a business proposal together. I am giving myself one year to complete all my business research and to write my business plan. I will present it to the bank and investors during the following two years to obtain funding.
In the chapter “Posture, Posturing, and Poise” of the book “Living Yoga,” (p. 41), George Feuerstein and other Yoga Journal editors explain:
“Our posture says a lot about our inner life. If we appear hunched over, it is probably because we are inwardly collapsed. If we strut about with our chest sticking out and our nose in the air, we are undoubtedly posturing and parading our inflated sense of self. Our bearing and our gestures contain valuable clues about our emotional state. It is hard to lie to the body! Whereas posturing is always an attempt to conceal a weakness, good posture suggests inner balance.”
When good posture is maintained with ease in all circumstances, we have poise.
Do you have the desire to make the changes necessary to rise from one level to another? For example, you may desire career advancement with your company. See yourself doing what you desire. Do you have your chest out or are you inwardly collapsed? Are you ready to face the challenge, make the changes, and step bravely forward to transition into a smooth landing? One way you may be able to demonstrate your readiness to move to another level would be to go back to school to further your education, if needed. Act by picking up your feet and stepping forward in faith into your designed destiny. Look into the mirror and observe your posture. If in doubt, ask a loved one or a close friend to examine your posture and tell you the truth about it.
My highest goal for you is for your life to be in Divine order. I affirm: “You are fully capable of making a move onto your runway with ease. I know everything you desire within your heart will occur with ease, grace, harmony, and in Divine order, as you stand in your truth in the correct posture! We agree and we thank God, for it is so. Amen.”
Can you fellowship, pray, and at the same time leave a legacy for others to enjoy? I say you can. Everything must be done in its proper time and space – in due season. It is Divine order, which provides a proper balance of your time and focus.
Transforming Your Mind
This is important for you to understand – it is your birthright to prosper while you are transforming your life. Many people believe we must be poor in spirit and in the world before we can achieve greatness, but this is not so! God created you with a birthright into a world of abundance, prosperity, health, happiness, and success. Abundance is not only about money. It is about receiving the overflow from the Universe. Abundance is simply an overflowing stream of whatever is needed or desired while you are on the earth. Do you desire love and companionship? Give away your love and it will be returned to you tenfold. Try it! Develop a consciousness of prosperity and abundance daily. See what happens! When you first awake, embrace the thought of prosperity and abundance for yourself. Visualize white streams of light from the Universal God pouring these concepts of truth into your soul. Refuse to dwell upon beliefs of lack or limitation. Open your heart and your mind to receive from the overflow of God’s bounty. Remember, you must be in a place of posture to receive it.
Prosperity is a reflection of the state of well-being that lives within you. You are always connected to the Source – the Mind of God, which is infinitely poised. Learn to tap into this stream of flowing waters of well-being. Raise your level of consciousness to reap its benefits.
Are you concerned and worried about gas prices? God recognizes all emotions being expressed with great feeling. He does not differentiate the negative from the positive. The more emotion you express about something you see or hear, the more you pay attention to it, and the more it increases. It does not matter whether it is positive or negative. When you choose to worry or focus on the negative aspects of life, you also block the flow of good that can occur in your life. It is important to recognize the negative, but only for the purpose of removing it. Once you identify it, immediately change the direction of your thinking to channel it into something positive. For example, express gratitude for everything life has to offer. Let go of attempting to control your situation. Trust in our Universal God who provides all. This is the reality of the present. It is supplied right now. Live in the present moment of the “now.” Forget about the past. Change your thinking and move forward. Embrace abundance and remove all sense of limitation from your thought. Abundance of all things will manifest itself into your reality when you know who and where you are. You are a child of God and you are in the land of plenty! Sir James Dewar said it best:
“Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.”
- Sir James Dewar (1842-1923)
Making Right Choices
We have been created to be successful, not to be failures. Failure comes only as a result of the choices we make. If it appears we are failing, our God is here to support us, regardless of the past decisions we have made.
The Scripture clearly states, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33, KJV) This is a formula for success! Try it. All things of true substance are added unto you through the guidance provided by the Holy Spirit through His love, peace, comfort, direction, joy, increased knowledge, happiness, wisdom, and faith.
It has been said that, “Happiness is an inside job.” Everything starts with a thought and the spoken word, including your ideas. This has been taught by spiritual teachers and in churches from the distant past to the present. Tune into your source of power and wisdom. Together with God, you can create the happiness, poise, and inner peace that will lead you to your destiny. Every morning before I get out of bed, I say, “I have abundance, prosperity, happiness, success, and health in my life!” When I say this first thing in the morning, it is received into my consciousness. I connect myself to the Divine God – the Source of all things, and then I let it be so!
The “Prosperity Bible” contains some of the greatest writings of all time on the secrets to wealth and prosperity. Ralph Waldo Trine, author of “In Tune with the Infinite” informed thinkers, “When we thus go directly to the Infinite Source itself we are no longer slaves to personalities, institutions, or books.” (“Prosperity Bible,” p. 548) The Spirit of Truth, Freedom, and all Wisdom are waiting for you to recognize Him as the Infinite Source of all things!
In “As A Man Thinketh,” (http://james-allen.in1woord.nl), James Allen instructs:
“As a being of Power, Intelligence, and Love, and the lord of his own thoughts, man holds the key to every situation, and contains within himself that transforming and regenerative agency by which he may make himself what he wills. Before a man can achieve anything, even in worldly things, he must lift his thoughts above slavish animal indulgence.”
Just as Frederic Douglas taught the black slaves, James Allen reminds us in the same book:
“There can be no progress, no achievement without sacrifice, and a man’s worldly success will be in the measure that he sacrifices his confused animal thoughts, and fixes his mind on the development of his plans, and the strengthening of his resolution and self-reliance. And the higher he lifts his thoughts, the more manly, upright and righteous he becomes, the greater will be his success, the more blessed and enduring will be his achievements.”
This second revised edition describes, from Onlinesss Self Awakening perspective, the major Truth-consciousness realm-waves of transcendent Self Awakening
A story with original photography, digital art, and illustration, about Son of Waves, 12 Dolphins to save the planet, David The Visionary on the beach in Tel Aviv, a digital messiah, and an internet of Love. Free PDF download.
This second revised edition describes, from Onlinesss Self Awakening perspective, the major Truth-consciousness realm-waves of transcendent Self Awakening
