Sex,sin and lies abound in the Catholic church and young Mattie Timberlake is exposed to all of them.
Mattie Timberlake is torn away from her boyfriend and has been sent away to a Catholic school for girls. Little do her parents know it is actually a cloistered convent. Mattie soon becomes exposed to the horrors behind the doors of St. Augustine's. Degraded, she eventually escapes only to be caught up in the life of prostitution. It is only by a fluke she runs into her old beau, but is it too late to reconnect?
Excerpt
CHAPTER 2
Ten years previous
From the winding dirt road below, a massive stone façade building rose into the clouds. St. Augustine’s sat atop a bluff overlooking the town of Saint Isobel, fifty miles from cosmopolitan Hernando Bay, one hundred miles from Bink at Santa Lucida. From a distance it appeared regal. As Mattie and Abigail Timberlake drew nearer, Mattie could see an old deteriorating building of stonework with red tile roofing surrounded by a six foot high wrought-iron gate. Despite its disrepair it looked like a formidable fortress, she thought.
Mattie glanced at her mother. Out of character for her to wear large sunglasses, Mattie wondered if her father had hit her mother again. It wouldn’t be the first time. They’d been arguing again last night. She’d heard her father say: “I hope they turn her into a fucking nun.” Her mother pleaded with him, trying to make him understand it was normal for girls of Mattie’s age to like boys. A scuffle ensued. A slap. Her mother cried out.
Now, her mother was tenderly touching her cheek just under the sunglass rim. Was she crying? Had he blackened her eye? Her mother probably thought she was covering up the abuse, but Mattie knew better. She couldn’t understand why her mother didn’t fight back. Or maybe she had and a black eye was the result of it.
“Are you crying, Mom?”
Abigail sniffed. “No, of course not.”
But Mattie wasn’t fooled; she heard the choked words. “Did Daddy . . .?”
“We’re almost there,” her mother cut her off.
Only a dimwit would think that he hadn’t hit her. He thinks he’s such a big man If it’s so almighty important to him to send me away, why didn’t Daddy come along? Is he too chicken to face a Catholic Sister? Is he guilty of even more heinous crimes of abusing Momma that she wasn’t aware of? He hadn’t been up when her mother had corralled her this morning. Maybe he wasn’t home yet. Or maybe he was so drunk he was sleeping it off. She wondered how he could miss this occasion. Wouldn’t he get some kind of pleasure out of seeing his only daughter confined to a private school? Will he even miss me?
Filled with malice she wished her father would leave for good. The volatile atmosphere kept everyone nervous and high-strung. His ranting and ravings came spontaneously, never knowing when the least little thing would set him off, causing her and her mother to walk on egg shells. Mattie wished she could convince her mother to leave him. But on the few occasions Mattie had tried to talk to her mother about it, Abigail Timberlake had supported her husband, making excuses for his behavior.
Mattie recalled earlier days before he had taken to the bottle. Before scalding her mother and her with his abusive, cruel words. Back to the good old days. Days of laughter and doing things together. When he would come outside and shoot hoops with her or go to the park and hit softballs. When he’d pick wildflower bouquets for Momma. Days when they were a loving family. What had happened?
“Mom, stay on the road!” Mattie yelled as the car edged dangerously close to the left margin. Small rocks spilled over the side as they narrowly missed a washout.
Her mother swerved back toward the right, sniffling and flinching as if trying to regain her composure.
Mattie craned her neck to peer over the edge of the road to see how far the drop-off was. She could only estimate it was several feet. As they continued to climb the narrow road sans guard rail, she hoped they wouldn’t meet a vehicle coming from the opposite direction. It was barely wide enough for one car.
“You’ll make lots of friends with girls your age while learning sound, moral principles and getting a well-rounded education,” her mother said as if reading off the school brochure that lay in the front seat.
Her mother sounded composed and hardened again. Mattie slumped in the seat refusing to comment. Sulking. She didn’t want a bunch of girlfriends. She wanted Bink. And what could be more well-rounded than the classes she had already been taking? Resentfully she wondered: did they really think she was a bad girl? Or was it predicated on her father’s behavior? Did her mother really believe all the hurtful derogatory things her father said about her? Couldn’t her mother see it was the liquor talking? Besides, he should talk; he was cheating on her mother.
Mattie peered up at the foreboding structure her apprehension heightening. Unconsciously her fingers began tapping the arm rests. She chewed the inside of her lips. Unable to make sense of her parent’s reasoning, she hoped that at the last minute before leaving her mother would change her mind.
Further and further the car climbed. Mattie turned in the seat to look backward as the last visages of Hernando Bay faded in the distance. To the sides, trees and land stretched out to meet with the horizon in the desert-like setting. Then facing front again: other than St. Augustine’s there was not another building in sight.
Pulling into the small parking area, Mattie could see the tall black wrought-iron gates where the old stone building stood like a lonely citadel. Its old brickwork reminded her of the old Spanish missions from San Diego to Sonoma. The religious and military outposts were established by Spanish Catholics of the Franciscan Order between 1769 and 1823 to spread the Christian faith among the local Native Americans. However the government of Mexico shut down the missions in the 1830s due to mixed results in its objective to convert, educate, and "civilize" the indigenous population and natives.
Through the black bars, she caught a glimpse of a beautifully groomed lawn of lush green grass turned pale with the onset of autumn. Cobblestone pathways snaked through the meticulously manicured grounds. Large deciduous trees towered over concrete sitting benches shading them here and there. Occasional flowerbeds stood barren now, stripped of any beauty in the September weather, while others held the proverbial fall mums. As they approached the gated entrance, she could see in the distance a block of outbuildings and a plot of empty, overturned ground and beyond that another large building. Turning her attention to the main building, what little she could see of it from her position, she immediately noticed how old and antiquated it looked. Archways. No windows. Moorish embellishments. Looking up she spied the bell tower or campanile as Bink would call it. Birds nests dotted the ledge underneath the bells which were spotted and splattered with droppings. She wondered if the bells ever rang or if they were for decoration. It was a total contrast from her sprawling, contemporary school in Santa Lucida. How Bink would love it though! All the old Spanish elements of the façade, the old brickwork. She wished he could be there to see it.
Abigail searched for the buzzer that would announce their arrival. Finding it, she pressed it firmly with her finger only to hear no tone. Thinking perhaps it wasn’t working properly, she pressed it several more times.
Mattie stood off at a distance. twirling around looking at the bleak surroundings. No playground, no students, no life. Quiet. Unreal. Reticent, she held back when a nun in black habit and wimple silently appeared; she hadn’t even heard the footfalls on the cobblestone walk.
Agitated the nun said sharply, “You needn’t ring the
buzzer but once. It was heard.”
“I’m sorry, but we didn’t hear anything out here. I thought perhaps it was broken,” Abigail explained.
“It most certainly is not! What is your business here at St. Augustine’s?”
“I’m Abigail Timberlake. I’ve brought my daughter to enroll . . . Mattie! Come here!” she said, turning to see that Mattie had walked a few steps away and now appeared to be dawdling.
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