Kindle Edition
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Category:
Young Adult/Teen
Publisher: Authors Reach
Type: Fiction
Pages: 194
Copyright: Aug 14th 2014
Price: $3.90 (eBook)
Now available in both eBook and paperback everywhere... well almost!
The second book in The Temporal Detective Agency, featuring the main characters of Tertia (who narrates the books), Unita (her cousin), David and Bryn (possibly their boyfriends), Marlene (Merlin's sister, and of course Merlin and Arthur.
Back from defeating the Black Knight and solving the mystery of the theft of the Koh-i-noor diamond and the disappearance of Nelson's statue, the Agency faces one of its toughest cases when Arthur's life is threatened and the whole future of Camelot and indeed the world is at stake. Excalibur has been stolen and a mystery person is more than just a thief! This time they have no idea who it is
* HAVE A GREAT 2017 WITH THE TEMPORAL DETECTIVE AGENCY! *
Do you like fantasy detective books with a difference?
Trouble With Swords is now available published by Authors Reach Ltd as an eBook and paperback, joining the first book in the series, Leap of Faith, and is available now on Amazon and at most good bookshops. Click through and check it out!
Don't be fooled into thinking this is just another YA book. It is read and enjoyed by all ages.
This is the second book in the Temporal Detective Agency series, featuring the main characters of Tertia (who narrates the books), Unita (her cousin), David and Bryn (possibly their boyfriends), Marlene (Merlin's sister) and of course Merlin and Arthur.
Back from defeating the Black Knight and solving the mystery of the stolen Koh-i-noor diamond as well as the disappearance of Nelson's statue, the Agency faces one of its toughest cases when Arthur's life is threatened and the whole future of Camelot and indeed the world is at stake.
Excalibur has been stolen and a mystery person is more than just a thief. He, or she is a killer!
Book Three in the series is progressing well!
Excerpt
Chapter One
A Theft, a Homecoming and a Plan of Sorts
When Merlin calls, you don’t make excuses like telling her you’ll drop by after coffee. You leave whatever you’re doing and go as fast as your little legs can carry you, because her reputation for changing people into rabbits is no idle threat. Believe me, it’s a sure-fire promise.
Actually no one has ever seen her do it. But when people disappear, as they sometimes do around Camelot, and the number of bunnies multiplies...well, everyone puts two and two together and makes five. Merl just smiles and carries on feeding carrots to her furry friends, while the rabbits carry on doing what rabbits do best.
Merl called us a couple of days after we got back from the year 1734. We’d just solved a Temporal Detective Agency case in South Wales, beating the evil Black Knight and his wrecking thugs with the help of our old friend Sir Gawain. I ended up with a nice diamond brooch, while Marlene, Merlin’s younger sister, got the Mona Lisa to cover the damp patch on her office wall, and Unita (or Neets as I call her) managed to grab a Welsh boyfriend in the shape of Gawain’s son Bryn. Job well done.
My name’s Tertia by the way, and I suppose I got a boyfriend out of it as well, though David’s more of a friend who happens to be a boy, no matter what he thinks. He’s also the Black Knight’s adopted son, not that I hold that against him unless I’m in a particularly nasty mood, which isn’t often because luckily I have a very nice nature...say it myself. David’s real parents drowned in a shipwreck on the Gower coast, but on a whim the Black Knight decided to keep David alive and adopt him, so long as he made himself useful.
The five of us were having tea and bickies in Galahad’s Olé Grill restaurant cave when Marlene’s talking cup went off in her pocket. Actually it sounded more like someone clearing their throat down a trumpet and from the urgency of the rasp it wasn’t going to be a social chat. Marlene put the tin cup in the middle of the table so we could all join the conference call and as the agency’s senior partner she sat nearest to it, taking charge.
“Okay, Merlin,” she said, recognizing her sister’s cough, “we’re all ears, because you don’t normally phone us on the cup out of the blue, so what’s up in Camelot?”
Marlene leaned back in her chair, raised its front legs and balanced on the rear ones, something she never let Neets or me do because she said it wasn’t ladylike. The boys always got away with it though, because Bryn was built like a brick privy and David was just death-defyingly obstinate, like a lot of smaller people. Yeah, all right. Like me!
“Merlin, are you still there, dear?” Marlene pinged the cup with her forefinger and smiled as I stopped it from skittering off the table onto the floor. The cup started talking and after that we didn’t get a word in edgeways, but that didn’t matter because what Merl had to say was pretty awesome, especially the bit about she and Arthur expecting a little prince of their own.
Marlene finished the call and put the cup back in her pocket. “It looks like we’re going back to Camelot, girls. The royal pair needs the Temporal Detective Agency’s help and I’ve always found it’s best not to turn down royalty.”
Neets looked at her beloved Bryn and I glanced at David because Marlene had very obviously said girls. Boys were not included in this trip.
“Bryn, David, I have another little case for you to solve while we’re away. An old friend has sent me a message through the usual secret channels asking the TDA to look into the disappearance of the crew of a ship called the Mary Celeste back in 1872. He wants to see if we can find out what went on and help one of his relatives who was on board. There may be nothing to it, but see what you can do.” The boys began to protest, but Marlene held up her hand. “This isn’t a club, it’s a detective agency. Finish your tea and get ready, please.” The boys nodded meekly and even David, who had opened his mouth to argue, wisely closed it again.
Half an hour later the five us of walked through the Time Portal.
Zzzzzp.
The boys went to a ship in the middle of the Atlantic, while Neets, Marlene and I zoomed back to Camelot, leaving Galahad in charge of the Olé Grill restaurant and Unita’s cats in charge of the Temporal Detective Agency. Safe hands and paws all round.
We walked out of the Portal into the fifth-century Camelot cave, which to Neets and me was a home away from home. Okay, it was the same cave the Temporal Detective Agency operated from in the twenty-first century, but this was fifteen hundred years earlier and also happened to be close to where we were born, so every nook and cranny was familiar to us. Yet everything looked somewhat newer and more like a chaotic home without the Olé Grill restaurant taking up most of the space. Merl had been a fairly regular time-traveller and had an obsession with collecting souvenirs from everywhere she went, which meant her cave looked a little bit like a seaside gift shop, but without the sophistication.
Merl gave us all a quick cuddle while Marlene busied herself in the kitchen area, then we gathered round the largest and most familiar piece of furniture in Merl’s rather cluttered cave. Arthur had given his wizard the task of preserving Camelot’s Round Table some years earlier and Merl had insisted it could only be done in her cave if magic was to be involved. She never explained to the struggling peasants why magic couldn’t be used to transport the table and they never asked for fear of increasing the rabbit population. Unfortunately, all Merl’s attempts with wizardry and even chemicals proved unsuccessful, though to be honest I couldn’t blame the woodworm for not leaving such a tasty bit of lunch.
I noticed that Neets took Bryn’s father’s seat at the place marked Sir Gawain, while Merl and I randomly plonked ourselves down causing minute clouds of woodworm dust to erupt like mini geysers. Marlene joined us, carrying a tray of cups filled with Merl Grey tea, and sat two places away from her sister, so that in between them the faded name of King Arthur was visible on the table-top. We sipped and sighed because drinking Merl Grey in Merl’s cave was the ultimate way to enjoy the brew.
“Bloody good tea, Merlin,” Marlene said with feeling and a gurgle as she drained her cup. “The stuff Unita makes isn’t a patch on the real thing. Shame there’s no bickies though, but understandable if you and Arthur have been away. Speaking of which, where is the royal ox?”
Marlene blushed as a shadow detached itself from the wall and Arthur of the Britons stumbled forward, tripping over his scabbard, which I couldn’t help noticing was minus a sword. He’d ruined his grand entrance and the detective in me started working overtime. Marlene patted the chair between herself and Merl and our once and future king sat down looking like a sorry cocker spaniel, but without the long furry ears.
“Hullo, Arthur.” Marlene gave him a coy little smile and a finger wave, while Merl remained tight-lipped. “Enjoying your honeymoon on Avalon with the lovely Merlin?” Arthur mumbled something none of us quite caught, but the silly smile on his face spoke volumes because we all knew the wizard and her king were deliriously happy. This was surprising really because their relationship had hardly been the normal boy meets girl story.
As far as the people of Camelot were concerned, Merl was an old man with greasy grey hair, a long straggly beard and an eagle’s beak for a nose. Amazingly, no one guessed her secret and even Arthur had thought his best friend and loyal adviser was a man and interested in only one thing...magic. That, of course, had been wrong in every single way because Merl had been madly in love with her king for years, even though she’d resigned herself to becoming an old and shrivelled spinster. The problem was that Arthur secretly loved her back, which was great, but very confusing for the poor guy. Things were getting complicated and a year or two earlier I’d realized it was time for Merl to come out as it were, so I grabbed the two of them one morning before Merl could put on her disguise and set the record straight.
The King of the Britons had stared at the clean-shaven Merl, whose voice must have seemed higher than he had remembered and whose body shape was somehow pleasingly different in a curvy sort of way. He gave a start when he realized everyone was waiting for him to speak, then let out a long sigh and gazed intently into Merl’s eyes. “Tell me one thing, will you, Merlin?” The king had looked so uncharacteristically nervous.
“If I can, Arthur.” I’d never seen Merl blush before, especially not the deeper orangey red of Marlene’s hair.
“Are you...are you really a woman?” he’d mumbled the words into the ground, his fists clenching and unclenching by his sides.
Merl had cupped her ear. “I’m sorry, Arthur, I didn’t quite catch that.”
“I said, are you a woman?” This time the king had nearly shouted as he hopped from one foot to the other like a child desperate for the toilet.
The cave had fallen silent and the seconds dragged by as Merl blushed uncontrollably, this time well beyond the color of Marlene’s hair. She closed her eyes and hung her head. “Yes, Arthur,” she said at last in a tiny voice, because she must have been terrified at what the king’s reaction would be. “I’m a woman.” Under her breath she added hopefully, “Your woman.”
Arthur punched the air, skipped around like a mad thing and shouted something that sounded very much like Yes! Yes! Yes! You little beauty! but I couldn’t really be sure. He stood in front of the beetroot-colored wizard and kissed her gently on the forehead. “Thank you.” He’d said it so quietly that only she and those nearest to them had heard. The wizard and the king had stared at each other silently, catching up on many years of misunderstandings and wishful thoughts.
I’d made the match back then and now I was going to have to save it.
“I hear from your beloved that you’ve been a silly boy and gone and lost your toy sword.” Marlene believed in pinning the tail to the donkey.
“That is not what I said,” Merl said indignantly. “Excalibur has been stolen and whoever did it now possesses the most powerful talisman in the land. Without Excalibur, Camelot is as good as dead meat and so are we.”
“I know, dear,” said Marlene. “I was just trying to lighten the atmosphere. I told you the Temporal Detective Agency would help, and help we will. Now, whom do you suspect?”
“If I half knew who did it they’d be outside calling themselves Floppsie and munching on a carrot by now! It could be anyone with a grudge against Arthur, or an ambition to be king, which usually comes to the same thing. Right now if Arthur openly returns to Briton and can’t show Excalibur, every warlord in the kingdom will descend on Camelot and there won’t be very much left to chew on. It’s only the magic of the sword that keeps the vultures at bay.”
“I take it Excalibur disappeared while you were on Avalon enjoying your extended honeymoon?” Marlene got up and refilled her mug when Merl nodded. “Then it looks as though someone knew you were both there and that the sword was with you. That probably points to it being an inside job. Or, of course, maybe you just mislaid it, Arthur?”
The king shook his head vigorously.
“And of course nobody knows about Arthur and you, Merlin, except us, of course? Congratulations on the news about the future little prince by the way. Thought of a name yet?”
Merl smiled and went all mumsy. “If he’s a boy we thought Melvyn and if she’s a girl then Mildred.” Her smile froze. “But if you don’t find Excalibur, there won’t be a little prince, or two loving parents, and probably not even an auntie.”
Marlene looked appalled. “Ah, it’s as serious as that?” I knew being an auntie had always quite appealed to her, but being a dead one had permanent drawbacks. “Then it’s time for action, my dear. It’s obvious Arthur is in danger until we get Excalibur back, so our priority is to keep him safe with a royal disappearing trick or two.” She had a sparkle in her eye. “Unita, make some sandwiches. No tuna in mine as it gives me the burps, and brew some more Merl Grey and put it in a travelling flask, or whatever passes for one here. Tertia, you and I need to have a chat,” she looked at Merl and Arthur, “in private if you don’t mind, your highnesses.”
I tried to look nonchalantly unconcerned as Marlene watched the royal pair scrape their chairs back from the Round Table and wander into a far corner where their grumbles couldn’t be heard.
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