A cold case murder from the 1930s gets unwanted attention in the present day.
When Tess Tremaine starts a new life in the colorful town of Goose Pimple Junction, curiosity leads her to look into a seventy-five-year-old murder. Suddenly she’s learning the foreign language of southern speak, resisting her attraction to local celebrity Jackson Wright, and dealing with more mayhem than she can handle.
A bank robbery, murder, and family tragedy from the 1930s are pieces of the mystery that Tess attempts to solve. As she gets close to the truth, she encounters danger, mystery, a lot of southern charm, and a new temptation for which she’s not sure she’s ready.
Excerpt
Chapter 7, Hissy Fit with a Tail on It
“Chief, someone’s been in my house. I can assure you I’m not making this up.”
“That ain’t something I can hang my hat on, missy.”
“Why don’t you quit patronizing the lady and start trying to figure out why somebody keeps breaking into her house, John Ed?” Jack’s voice came through the front screen door. He opened it and let himself in.
“You ain’t got no dog in this fight.” John Ed glared at Jack. “Or do you?” He looked from Tess to Jack with a suggestive expression.
“One … ” Jack ticked off points on his fingers, “ … it’s my business because this lady’s a friend of mine. And two,” Jack kicked up his accent a notch, “I don’t ‘preshade your innuendos.”
“Aw, Jack, don’t go getting your knickers all in a bunch. She had a hissy fit with a tail on it. I was only trying to calm her down, that’s all.”
“Wouldn’t you have a hissy fit if someone kept breaking into your house?”
“And just how did you know that’s what the call was for this morning?” Chief Price folded his arms and looked at Jack suspiciously.
“You know you can’t keep anything quiet in this town, John Ed. Now quit arguing and take the woman seriously. What are you going to do about this?”
“Well, one thing I’m gonna do is tell the little lady to get herself some better locks. Looka here.” John Ed went to the door and pointed to the metal latch in the door jamb, “All’s a person has to do is slip a putty knife in here and he’s in.”
Jack exhaled in impatience. “Besides your expert advice on home safety, what are you going to do?” He stood with his hands on his hips, glaring at John Ed.
“Jackson, I don’t know of a dadblamed thing I can do … ”
Too nervous to just stand around listening to the men bicker and wanting something to do, she went into the kitchen to make some tea, and John Ed’s voice grew softer until she could no longer hear his or Jack’s words, only the faint sound of conversation coming from the next room. The thought of someone in her house while she was sleeping sent shivers down her spine, made her sick to her stomach, and she could feel the hair on her arms standing on end. The men continued to argue, but she no longer cared what was said. It was obvious the chief thought she was just a hysterical female.
She filled the teakettle with water and put it on the stove. She wasn’t hungry but thought maybe eating something would calm her roiling stomach. While waiting for the kettle to boil, she absentmindedly grabbed a box of Banana Nut Cheerios out of the cabinet and stood over the sink, eating from the box.
“Are you okay?” Jack stood with his hands in his pockets, leaning against the kitchen doorway.
Tess jumped and whirled around at the sound of his voice, spraying Cheerios across the room.
“No thanks, I’ve had breakfast.” He pushed away from the door. “You a little bit on edge?”
She let out a heavy sigh and sat the box on the counter with a thud. He bent down to help her pick up the cereal.
“John Ed left?” She began sweeping the cheerios into a pile with her hand.
“Yeah, before I could throw him out.”
She mumbled under her breath about the gall of some men.
“Tess, I think it’s safe to say that for whatever reason they keep coming back, their intent is not to hurt you. If they’d wanted to do that, they’d have done it last night.”
Tess nodded. Kneeling on the floor, she scooped up the Cheerios and deposited them in the garbage. “You’re probably right.” She wondered if he noticed how shaky she was. Her silent question was answered when he reached out to gently squeeze her hand. The reassuring gesture did manage to calm her a bit.
He stood, putting his hands on his hips. “Tess, don’t be offended by this question, but … do you … ”
“Do I what?” Her brow furrowed.
“Do you have any drugs in the house?”
“What? Jack, no, of course I don’t have any drugs in this house. How could you even think such a thing?”
“I don’t. I just had to ask. Drugs, firearms, and high-end loot. That’s usually what people are after when they break into a place. Since your high-end loot is still here and I don’t peg you for the gun-toting type,” his eyes wandered to the Louisville Slugger baseball bat in the corner of the kitchen, “drugs are all that’s left.”
Tess plopped down on the floor and put her head in her hands. “I think back to a little over a year ago, when I had a quiet, ordinary, mundane life. Then my world exploded. I thought moving here would let me get back on an even keel. Now I’m having to learn a new language, I have ugly wallpaper stuck to the walls, and I have a stalker. So much for my good luck charm.”
“Hold it! Hold it just one minute. Number one, I think you’re slightly exaggerating on the foreign language thing. Number two, I’d be happy to help you strip … the wallpaper.” She shot him a look. “Number three, I’m sure you don’t have a stalker, unless you want to count me. And number four, what good luck charm?”
For the next few minutes Tess filled Jack in on what she had found and her talk with Lou.
“So it’s not a good luck charm.” Jack shrugged. “It’s just an interesting antiquity. Put it on your key ring and forget about it.”
“And what about the repeated break-ins? This is really freaking me out.”
“Well … I could stay over … ” Jack quickly changed course when she gave him yet another pointed look.
“In that case, are you working today?”
“Not until two o’clock, why?”
“What say you and I take your mind off things by going to lunch at Slick and Junebug’s?”
“Well … ” Tess hemmed, “I should get some things done around here before I go into work.”
“Come on, it’s only a quick bite to eat. We’ll be in public. And if you insist, I’ll even refrain from biting.”
He offered a hand to pull her up. The way he looked at her made her nervous. I could so easily fall into his arms, where I’d feel safe again. She could smell his aftershave lotion, feel his body heat, and when she looked at him, all she could think about was running her hands through his hair and kissing him silly. NO. I have to get a grip. And not a grip on Jack.
“Hell, no,” she mumbled as she moved away from Jack.
“Pardon?” he asked, one eyebrow raised questioningly.
Did I say that out loud? Crap.
“I said, ‘HEL-lo.’ You know, like, HEL-lo, no biting.” Liar liar, pants on fire …
“Well, then, I’ll be back to pick you up in an hour. How’s that?”
She sighed in resignation. There was no graceful way out of this. And it’s just lunch. “That’ll give me time to get those footprints off of my pretty hardwood floors.” As Jack left, she took her mop out of the closet and tried to feel brave.
Professional Reviews
What a treasure...
Murder & Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction is by Amy Metz. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time! Life in the small town of Goose Pimple Junction, TN is lively as it is mysterious. Actually, the community is fairly sedate. Little to no crime at all, people living it up at the Silly Goose for an evening out or the more customary setting of the local diner for sweet tea and conversation. Life is simple...until writer, Tess Tremaine moves in to the neighborhood. To be fair, trouble found her, but you'll figure that out, "lickety split", when you unravel the mystery of the Hobb murder.
Recently divorced after 26 years of marriage, Tess picks herself up and launches into Phase II of her life. Although she tries to quietly observe the townspeople, Tess is thrust into the lives of several prominent characters and has to adapt to her environment. Most significantly is fellow writer, Jackson Wright. Unsurprising, he's handsome, witty and intelligent...all the characteristics Tess is determined to ignore. She swore never to get involved again. But he's so dang appealing! Perhaps never should be "not so soon"?
Let me say that I was immediately put off when I realized the central couple was middle-aged. I'm so used to panting over eternally hot vampires and studly shifters and/or swooning for lords and highlanders from the 16th century, I -- WAIT. Those examples are waaay older, but if you perceive yourself to be that heroine, to insert yourself in the story, it's appropriately hot, right? Everyone does this, right?! Ok...admonishing self...**get back on track!** Let me state clearly that Jack and Tess are such a wonderful couple, age is truly but a number. Amy Metz has written such an engaging couple, my ignorant impression was quickly dashed and I reveled in their every interaction; romantic or furtive in nature.
The parallel story of the murder of John Hobb (a real event!) is the foundation for the present-day mystery and Ms. Metz tells it in such a nuanced manner, the vacillation between 1932 and 2010 drifts effortlessly. Adjusting to her newly independent life and wanting to integrate herself into Pimple Junction, Tess gets a P/T job at the local bookstore. Unable to sleep one evening, Tess decides to finalize the move-in by scraping off old wallpaper in her bedroom. Picking up dozens of shredded pieces, Tess has to extract the smaller scraps from under a vent on the floor. Along with the bits comes a peculiar key labeled "trunk". Tess approaches her boss, Louetta Hobb, who happens to be the youngest child of the original homeowners. If Lou wasn't impressed by its discovery, and even encouraged Tess to use it as a good luck charm instead, why does Tess' house suddenly get ransacked? Someone DOES care. Ms. Metz enlightens us with the details of a bank robbery and subsequent unresolved murder of John Hobb (Louetta and her 3 siblings' father), while Tess and Jack investigate the mystery. These two suffer break-ins, an actual mugging and become the unsuspecting victims of a stalker's plan to keep the truth buried. It's sooo good!!!
Aside from the budding love story between Jack and Tess, Ms. Metz describes a slice of life so charming; I highlighted many colloquialisms on my Kindle! Please indulge me as they're laugh out loud funny and spot-on descriptive. A casual greeting is "Hireyew". When you're meeting someone formally, there's the expression, "We've howdied, but we ain't shook yet." Insults were some of my favorites! When Jack became jealous of a potential suitor of Tess', he discouraged her interest by saying, "He's about as handy as a back pocket on a shirt." There were some great put-downs, too! "The only thing that would make him dumber is if he was bigger"; "Jesus loves him, but he's the only one"; "That child was so ugly, her mama used to borrow a baby to take to church on Sunday." Just delightful! I was swept away by Metz' many metaphors and I am elated to hear there is more to this series.
Enticed by a mystery, riveted to the swoon-worthy romance and tickled by the "countrified" life, I was thoroughly entertained on all levels. A quick visit to Ms. Metz's website promises to continue the hilarity, as the sequel titled Heroes and Hooligans in Pimple Junction, is in the editing process. That must make her "busier than a one-legged man at a butt kickin' contest"! Seriously...read this book! :)
A Must READ
I just love books that go back over time, not necessarily time travel mind you. Murder and Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junction fits the bill nicely as Tess attempts to solve a crime from 75 years earlier (see what I mean by goes back over time.) Of course this book spoke to the Southern woman in me as well. I simply could not put it down and wanted to know who dunnit. This book has it all: mystery, murder, and romance. It is simply a must read.
Loved the book
Murder and Mayhem in Goose Pimple Junctions was an amazing read. I can't say enough how much I loved this story. It was funny and serious at the same time. Tess is a great heroine, recently divorced she moves to a new town where she can start over. Tess meets some interesting people in the new town, along with an attractive man, Jack. She fights her attraction to Jack for a long time and I love how patient Jack is with her. Jack is a guy every girl dreams of I think, he's funny and smart, and a writer. While Tess is renovating her house she stumbles across a key that leads to an unsolved mystery of the town and her house. The mystery kept me guessing the entire way through and I was shocked at who was behind it all. The "southernisms" were funny, I can laugh because living in the south I actually use some of the. I haven't heard of "get your straw out of my koolaid" but I found myself using it recently. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to read a mystery that's a little funny and has a little romance on the side.
I give this book 5 stars.
While working on the set of a Hollywood horror movie, a simulated murder turns into a real homocide. Special effects artist Harri Lewis (aka Agent Proteus) steps in to try to solve the murder
