Amazon Psychotherapyunlimited.com Category:  Inspirational Publisher: Between The Spaces ISBN-10:  1456312693 Type: Non-Fiction Pages: 234 Copyright: August 1 2011 ISBN-13: 9781456312695 This book details my journey with strong emotions of fear and faith while negotiating the medical maze. When the cancer bombshell is dropped on a person, a number of things happen almost simultaneously. Each can affect the patient and those who are close to them. One is the virtually inevitable sense of shock and the ensuing emotional roller coaster ride. Another is the delivery of a great deal of information by the doctor and being urged toward a course of action. Yet another is a flood of advice by well-meaning friends and family. Underneath it all is a pervasive sense of uncertainty. Since nothing is really black and white and few guarantees are offered, there can be an incredible amount of stress for all involved. This underlying tension can persist throughout the treatment. Dr. Robin Dilley, in sharing her story, provides a refreshing sense of relief in a number of ways: • She delivers hope. She is a cancer survivor and proves that cancer is not the death sentence it is often consciously or unconsciously perceived to be. • She brings comfort. When you see her inner thoughts and feelings you know those you are experiencing are natural and okay. • She avoids offering treatment advice; she simply relates how she arrived at the choices she made—which may assist you in making your own choices. • She shares what she learned of her partner’s experience as the one who went along for the ride but was not in the driver’s seat. • She gives solid, practical information on a number of unavoidable situa tions, like dealing with doctors, medical staff, and insurance companies. • She details non-medical support resources she employed that can help you and your loved ones in working through your journey. Perhaps the most important thing Dr. Dilley learned is that the patient is the only one in charge of their medical care. Knowing this along with the perspective Dr. Dilley provides can smooth the road for anyone dealing with a cancer diagnosis. When Dr. Dilley received her diagnosis she desperately sought a book like this one to help her through. None existed then. One does now. viii How Dr. Dilley’s experience can help you Excerpt THE FIRST TEARS Again, I knew without being told that the cancer was in my lymph nodes. I just knew. It was after the mastectomy that my denial wore very thin. I had the discomfort of the mastectomy, the reality of the scar, and the real intrusions into my daily life with doctor appointments and trips to medical centers for other tests. I was becoming tired and irritable with it all. As Pam and I walked up the steps to Dr. BW’s office on that hot day near the end of August, I felt the tension and that ominous feeling of anxiety like a coiled rattlesnake, prepared to strike. My warrior-self was on notice. My environmental senses were heightened. My normal state of being had become one of hyper-arousal. Hyper-arousal is a symptom of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and my PTSD was quickly taking over my state of consciousness. As Dr. BW entered the examination office, all pleasantries were bypassed. There was the brief question, “How much liquid are you collecting and what color is it?” he asked. I replied, “There is very little liquid and it is now only the color of straw – no blood is still draining.” It was almost like I hadn’t said a word. His mind was clearly somewhere else, other than on the amount of straw-colored liquid in these bulbs dangling from my neck. Before I could process the obvious tension between us, he pulled out the pathology report with this introduction, “I am surprised by your pathology report. Your cancer has invaded eight 44 In a Moment’s Notice of twelve lymph nodes.” There was nothing like those words, “I am surprised.” My eyes automatically, without permission, filled with a deluge of scorching hot tears. My chest silently heaved, refusing to let another sliver of breath in or out. I sat there exposed in that silly office gown. I had no safe words, no words that were socially acceptable. The more I tried not to cry, the more my chin quivered and the blotchier the red spots around my mouth became. Telling a patient, “You have cancer,” must be the hardest part of a doctor’s job. And even though she or he probably tells someone that every day – “I am sorry, you have cancer” – there is just no easy or right way to do it. Dr. BW handed me a tissue and spoke the truth. “I know this was not what you wanted to hear.” He was right. I did not want to hear those words. Those words broke through any denial I had left within me. I had known all along that it had traveled to my lymph nodes. I just wanted to be wrong. I could find no breath to help me communicate anything to him. I went into computer mode the best I could and asked a couple of questions and we all managed to refocus on the pathology report. He brought to my attention a very important part of the report by pointing out to me that the pathology reported detected another tumor, 3.5. cm in size, hidden deep with my breast tissue as well as discovering other infiltrating microscopic foci. All of these words meant one thing: they had found another tumor even bigger than the bump. This undetected tumor was hiding deep within the dense breast tissue so it did not show up on the mammogram or the ultrasound. If I had not had the mastectomy that tumor would have remained concealed deep in the breast tissue. My final diagnosis was Stage Two Aggressive Estrogen Positive Ductal Carcinoma. I knew then that chemotherapy would not be at my discretion.

In a Moment's Notice
I would like to make some comments, observations and recommendations about Dr. Robin Dilley's book "In A Moments Notice."

I have known Robin for many years from the early times on Whidbey Island, when I was practicing medicine as a primary care physician, to the present day in Phoenix. It was apparent that Robin was a gifted, intelligent Lady and was an excellent counselor, teacher and writer from the onset of our acquaintance. Despite her lack of formal training she had that ability to understand and relate to those in crisis. She pursued her goals and obtained her degrees eventually a PHD.

Her book is an excellent insight into the fears of people when they discover they have the "Big C". It should be required reading for anyone in the health care profession. Her insight into the need for major empathy and joint patient doctor decision making is unparalleled.

If you know anyone diagnosed with cancer this book would be the best gift you could possible give to that person.

John D Teays, MD