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Category:
Inspirational
Publisher: William and Denise Bell
ISBN-10: 1470037033
Type: Non-Fiction
Pages: 156
Copyright: May 1, 2012
ISBN-13: 9781470037031
The autobiography of a young author who went to heaven at age 20 years
A multigifted, prolific novelist, poet, essayist, author of several installments of fan fiction, this accomplished musician, dancer and artist gives her testimony and proclaims the Gospel, telling her story of the trials and triumphs of adolescence and ultimately, a ravaging disease, in this collection of her essays, prose, poetry and blogs presented largely in chronological order.
Stephanie proclaimed Jesus on this earth for as long as she was able, using every ounce of strength that she drew from the Lord.
Her "High School Graduation Speech" inspired people across the state.
"My 30th Birthday" is instructive; its poignancy, inescapable.
This is a portrait of a young woman's vulnerability, yet courage and unwavering faith in Jesus Christ.
She left an array of information about herself at www.myspace.com/nitelyte
Excerpt
My 30th Birthday
My 30th birthday . . . I-I can’t believe time passed so quickly. It’s funny how all you need is a birthday to get you to stop and think about life . . . God . . . yourself. (laugh lightly and shake head).
That reminds me of something my old youth pastor said once- during a youth group session. And Pastor had a way of making you think- he said that when you stop and be still . . . you think about yourself (shrug). And I guess that’s what I’m doing today. There’s . . . so much I messed up on- so many careless mistakes that if I were God I would have taken this unworthy girl out a long time ago (wry laugh). I thank God He’s (point up) in control and not me. (Shake head)
I mean, there was so much selfishness . . . (pause and think, frown). We’ve all been there before . . . but back as a teen- it was like free candy- to take at will. You’d be chillin’-havin’ a good time with your friends- you’ve got your girl on your right-the one that goes back to the sandbox-a few hypocritical believers . . . and that one guy or girl you knew God had been tellin’ you to be real with . . . share Christ with . . . (laugh). But not me, right? Psst. Too much earthy stuff at stake to be cursed and laughed at but blessed and rewarded while my Heavenly treasures stock up. God kept speaking . . . and forgiving-His voice, though muffled by my stubborn flesh, kept calling . . . That’s mercy to me . . . and it was selfish-what we didn’t see was that we had Christ in us; to offer to those who needed His saving power. But if offering the steps for eternal life meant a beating on our “reputations”- it wasn’t happening. And what made us look even worse, while showing God’s love and grace more, was that He would raise up someone else to be a witness if we wouldn’t do it. And that . . . made me mad a lot of times. I felt like God didn’t have the right to pass me by like that-like I had done too much- endured too much pain, suffering verbal beatings, tears . . . (shrug and laugh)- might as well have nailed me to a cross and . . . (abrupt stop, blink, frown) crucified me. (sigh).
I missed the fact that I was already dead- dying daily to the desires of my flesh, and that Jesus had already taken the umpteen times worse punishment- for the stupid things I would do some 1,989 years later and beyond . . . for the sin He never nor would ever commit. And somehow . . . I thought I deserved better, when I wasn’t even getting the punishment I did deserve. Nothing I went through then or now could match up to what He went through for me. And I still complain. Sometimes I wanted to get closer to my Savior . . . others I wanted nothing to do with Him. The Bible addresses God in so many ways, that we should worship Him . . . as our one and only Idol. I remember thinking about Heaven once, and just how we’ll feel about Jesus there. I realized that we’re going to want more than anything to be near Him- like starved people hungering for food. I saw that we would go crazy over Jesus like we did for our favorite artists or basketball players, aching to just breathe the air He breathes . . . and eventually I wondered what was keeping us from feeling and living like that then . . . and now.
People were like that in the Bible- on fire for God- kissing His feet and hanging onto His every Word. I guess it was because a lot of them were poor- and they didn’t have cable TV, Ciara, 50 or Usher. Jesus was that to them- and much more. But when I was a kid and now even- it’s gotten so crazy. If a human “idol” wears this outfit, does this dance, drinks this soda- everybody’s gotta do the same, or else you’re shot down by what they think about you. What we didn’t see was that peer pressure was one of Satan’s most favorite toys- weapons of mass destruction to be correct, and bodies of teens who just wanted to be loved and accepted lay in its path.
Too many times I was one of them. I thought I’d go crazy choosing between light and dark- blending in or standing out. One night I spoke with my team leader about this. I told her that I was getting tired, and she told me to remember 1Timothy 4:12:
“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.”
She stopped me here.
Over time, it made more sense. I, along with a lot of other teens, was trying to blend in with the hungry, when it was my job to give them food, or Jesus Christ’s saving power. And truthfully, if I couldn’t drop my superficial, selfish pride for one second to look Satan in the eye to say no for a change- to help a friend, most importantly to please God . . . then I had blended in . . . walking in step with a crowd who patted me on the back . . . but while my Idol, faithful friend and true admirer . . . was shedding tears of sadness. Whose feelings would you rather hurt- Satan . . . or Jesus Christ, the One with the hands that are still scarred just for you? I beg you to answer that now, not on your 30th birthday. .
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