Kindle Edition
Amazon
YVONNE CROWE WRITER
Amazon
Category:
Fantasy
Publisher: Amazon
ISBN-10: B00BS255RM
Type: Fiction
Pages: 151
Copyright: March 10 2013
Price: $2.99 (eBook)
A lighthearted contemporary fantasy about past lives for the unconverted
The baleful soul of Heinrich Kramer, a German Inquisitor from the 14th century, is lurking in the netherworld, waiting for a physical vehicle to return to earth to complete his Holy Mission of burning witches at the stake. He is the author of the Malleus Maleficarum, or Witches Hammer, which was the treatise on how to recognize, interrogate, judge and then execute these innocent women, who, in a superstitious era, were the scapegoats for natural disasters.
He alights on Tamsin, an English Rose, trying to find herself and overcome her past during a spiritual retreat, and decides she would be the perfect victim; which is precisely the role Tamsin is trying to shed. She is there to take control of her life. His persistence makes her question whether she was, in fact, this Inquisitor in a past life.
A series of haunting dreams has brought Tamsin to this point in time and knowing she cannot defeat this malevolent priest on her own, enlists the aid of a Chinese sage, her teacher on the metaphysical plane.
Now a door has opened to a parallel world where she experiences other past lives. Torn between her horror at her past deeds, if indeed she is an incarnation of this horrible priest, and her determination to know the truth, she undertakes a journey, to find out whether she can uncover any evidence that links her to these revelations.
Each courageous step she takes in confronting her past empowers her to overcome the baggage she has dragged behind her throughout the ages, which has become a millstone around her neck.
Finally believing she has earned the right to happiness, she meets Jean Pierre, a French doctor in Carcassone, who stands by her side as the final battle with Heinrich culminates in a surprising twist. Will it consume her as she stands on the brink of success? Or will she finally free herself?
Excerpt
That night, she settled down after the usual two hour video, to do her final meditation in her room before she went to sleep. In the 14>7 cycles per second brainwave activity that produces the alpha state, before one crosses over into the 7>4 cycles per second brainwave activity of the Theta state of deep sleep, her surroundings seem to disappear and she found herself in a monk’s cell of a monastery.
Thwack, thwack. A monk was flagellating himself in a cold stone cell, his head thrown back in agony and ecstasy. Droplets of blood clung to his back, as the steel tipped leather strips that he was lashing himself with, broke the skin time and again. At each stroke, he passionately assured His Lord of his devotion.
This was definitely different to the dreams Tamsin had experienced. She felt herself in the cell with this monk. She felt the chill and could smell the dankness of it.
Ouch, she could feel each stroke of the whip, and it was painful. She could feel the ecstasy in the priest as the lashes fell one by one.
She knew, deep in her soul, that this was no incipient dream:
The malignancy that rose from him was capable of turning living beings to stone, powerless to fight back against him, as he went about his daily tasks with a zeal which exceeded that required of him.
Now Tamsin was aware that an epiphany like this was not to be taken lightly and was normally carried out under controlled conditions, however, it appeared she was on her own here and wasn’t too thrilled about it at all.
Suddenly she became aware of a presence and although she felt as though she was immersed in the being of the priest, she was being protected by some outside force. Into her mind’s eye floated an indistinct light energy, which appeared to transform into a figure. Patiently she waited, until the face of an ancient Chinese Sage, with one of those wispy beards, appeared before her startled inner gaze. Such serenity and poise shone from him and appeared to enfold her that she knew he was keeping her safe.
Instinctively she became aware that the Girlfriends were right, this was indeed a past life experience. Along with this revelation, came the knowledge that to become aware of this portent and its true nature could be tinged with danger. Without the Chinese Sage’s protection, she could very well become lost and get stuck in that era, become one with the priest. As she began to panic, she also instinctively knew, he would not allow this to happen.
Who on earth was he? Nothing she had studied to date, had prepared her for this. Was he one of her guides? Her higher being perhaps?
It was all getting to be a bit much as far as she was concerned. Distancing herself from the flogging, pleased she had the ability to do so and was therefore maintaining some control over the situation, she asked, “Who are you?”
“I am with you always,” he answered, which was a bit oblique, but Tamsin was happy with that, given the circumstances. “It is important you experience and understand this lifetime and I will remain with you until you return from the parallel universe you have entered, to gain this knowledge.”
Now Tamsin had read up on the parallel universes and as the Tao taught of the duality of the universe, and indeed existence, she was open to the existence of them. However, she never thought she would find herself traveling between them and was more than pleased her Teacher was with her, as she wasn’t quite comfortable with it.
The figure disappeared, but she could still feel the forceful energy linked with her own, as the scene held her in its thrall.
Thwack, thwack, thwack. Oh God, her energy was linked with that of the priest’s again and thoughts began to penetrate from his mind into her own.
My name is Heinrich and I am a Dominican friar in the Alsace.
Tamsin recoiled in horror as the monk’s mind appeared to take over her own. Desperately she sought to escape, but he held her fast with his mind of steel. Dimly recalling the Alsace was in France.
Memories of his life were transferred from his mind to hers, and no matter how much she struggled mentally; she could not free herself from the knowledge pouring through her.
He had been born in Selestat, a town in the beautiful Alsace region and had entered the Dominican order at an early age.
During her travels overseas, she had not ventured to the Alsace region which was now owned by France, having spent centuries being passed between that country and Germany. Yet she could see it as clearly as if she had recently visited this ancient town established 1200 years ago. Somehow she knew that Benedictine monks had settled in Selestat in 1094, following a donation from Hildegarde de Büren, the wife of Friedrich von Büren, one of the ancestors of the House of Hohenstaufen and the great-grandmother of Emperor Frederick Barbarossa.
In her sleep, Tamsin went into shock as she struggled to wake and free herself from this nightmare. How could she know so much about a region she had never visited; or even looked up on the Internet?
Again she struggled to free herself from the priest’s iron grip on her mind. The more she struggled, the more she became immersed in his thoughts and life.
His rise in the hierarchy of the Dominican House in his hometown had been nothing short of meteoric, because of his competence and dedication to the Order’s strictures. He was still a young man, when he was appointed to the position of Prior of the Dominican House in his home town, serving with such distinction he had become a Preacher-General and a Master of Sacred Theology, both elevated distinctions within the Order. Although it was a sin, his breast and brain, swelled with pride at his achievement. Therefore he must be purged of his pride. Thwack, thwack, thwack.
Blood seeped from the cuts across his back and still he wielded the flail against himself.
This was getting more frightening by the minute for Tamsin.
I am Heinrich, the Prior of the Dominican House in Selestat. Thwack, thwack, thwack. I live only to serve the Lord and his representative in Rome, Pope Innocent III. Thwack, thwack, thwack.
Feeling the flail as it lashed his skin, she felt the futility of her weakness in the struggle against this powerful entity.
In Tamsin’s befuddled mind, he appeared to be obsessed with The Decree of Pope Lucius III against Heretics: which had been issued in the 12th century:
To abolish the malignity of diverse heresies which are lately sprung up in most parts of the world, it is but fitting that the power committed to the church should be awakened, that by the concurring assistance of the Imperial strength, both the insolence and mal-pertness of the heretics in their false designs may be crushed, and the truth of Catholic simplicity shining forth in the holy church, may demonstrate her pure and free from the execrableness of their false doctrines......
How did she know that? She’d never heard of this Pope. Where was this history lesson coming from?
As she struggled against his power over her, her physical body began to burn with a heat that she could not control. Sweat poured from her pores. Then a coldness like that of the tomb settled around her and she feared this mightily, as a figure began to emerge from a dark background.
A dark hooded figure oozing malevolence swam before her eyes. At first she could not see inside the hood to a face, only feel the malignance which was the entity within it.
Slowly a face began to emerge. One of a chiseled lean face with cheekbones, which looked to have been carved by a sculptor, intent of portraying evil without distorting the features.
The outline of a monk’s black habit appeared, with two hands holding a book in front of the figure’s face. What was it he was holding? The figure was obsessed by whatever it contained.
A blazing determination to implement all that was recorded within the book, forcefully made its way to the fore and swam before her eyes.
Fear overtook her, which gave him greater power. She was straddling two worlds, wondering whether she would remain trapped in the past, if she could not free herself from this pesky friar. The thought terrified her and she struggled more, as she realized he was endeavoring to integrate his energy with hers, which would give him a second chance on Earth.
“I will not be the vehicle for you to return to Earth,” she shouted at him in despair.
From the little she was gleaning from his presence; little did he know that if he succeeded in returning to Earth in these enlightened times, he would be viewed as a psychopath and committed to a mental institution,
The figure swam before her with more intensity, as though willing her to realize what it was he wanted.
What was that book he was holding?
As if reading her thoughts, he brought it closer and held it up before her horrified gaze.
Mall……. Malle………Malleus.
What on earth was that? It made no sense to her at all.
Malleus. Male……..Malef………Maleficarum.
What the hell was that? She had never heard of it.
Whatever it was, he was inordinately proud of it.
She was becoming exhausted, weakening as his power overwhelmed her. Not knowing what to do, she called upon the Chinese Sage, who immediately responded to her call.
“I am here. Stay with this, Tamsin. Learn.” And he receded again.
Her heart was beating so rapidly she thought it would burst and she would expire.
‘What did this man have to do with her? And what the hell was the matter with him?’
Again, the figure swam into her vision. Black robe, hooded features, hands holding a book before him.
Visions of courts sitting in judgment on innocent women appeared before her eyes, to be replaced by women being burnt at the stake. Her mind sought to escape as a terrible coldness seized and held her fast in its grip. Before her horrified eyes, she saw this monk called Heinrich judging people and watching dispassionately and calmly, as they went to their deaths on the fires.
‘I have to escape his hold over me and make sure he doesn’t return to earth with me,’ she thought, not really knowing how she was aware of that, while fighting with all her might to return to the present. However, the more she struggled, the more enmeshed she became in his life.
Her body thrashed in the narrow bed, heat roared through her body until she was again soaked in sweat, and despaired of being trapped in this maelstrom of terror forever.
“That is enough for now.” Thankfully the Sage returned and released her from the experience.
Heart pounding, senses roaring, Tamsin sat bolt upright in the narrow bed in her little room at the retreat, attempting to relocate in the here and now, relieved to be free of Heinrich, his flail and his ghastly deeds.
Anchoring herself by looking around the room, which was modern and clean, but with no frills, she had never been so pleased to be in her own body and mind. There was no thought of attempting to meditate again or of trying to sleep. No way was she was closing her eyes this night, as she didn’t want to meet up with Heinrich again, whoever he was.
“Who on earth was that horrible person? And what is his problem?” she asked herself, and the Sage.
Slowly her racing heart came back to something resembling normal and her rapid breathing settled down.
‘What era was that?’ she wondered, ‘and furthermore, who, or what the hell was Heinrich? He appeared to be perfectly suited to the mediaeval practice of stamping out heresy by very nasty means.’
“God, I’ve got the mother of a headache.” Reaching out to the glass of water on the small bedside table, she almost knocked the glass over, but recovered it and took a few sips, downed a tablet, then settled back to try and make sense of what had happened.
“It wasn’t a dream. I know it wasn’t a dream,” she quietly cried to herself. “It was something else altogether. The Girlfriends are right.”
Considering where she was and it was all about turning inward, she wondered what on earth had surfaced from the depths of her psyche or soul, if they were indeed divisible.
‘What’s that guy doing in my meditation and worst of all, what was I doing in his life?’ Tamsin worried. ‘No, it can’t be. It can’t have been a past life of mine. I couldn’t have been that weirdo in another life.’ Her stomach did flips at the thought of it.
‘But what other explanation is there?’ She couldn’t come up with anything at this very moment.
“Why has this happened to me,’ she wailed as quietly as possible, trying not to break the golden rule of silence. “It was so real.” Her eyes darted around in the gloom of her little room and she thought about the cell in which Heinrich was about his business.
‘When did they burn witches?’ Unbidden thoughts raced through her mind which was trying to come to terms with it all and having no end of difficulty. ‘In Medieval times.’ She answered her own question. ‘So somewhere around the 14th century and it lasted for over 200 years. Then they tried again in Salem.’
“I’m leaving this place first thing in the morning. To hell with it,” she decided, then turned over and tried to sleep.
But there was little chance of that. Tossing and turning all night, sleep was not on the agenda and when the meditation bell rang at 4am, she had only managed snatches of repose.
Deciding she was not going to the meditation session in the large community hall, she rose, gathered up her clothes, bath towel and toiletries and headed for the ablution block. Letting the warm water stream down on her head, she soaped herself vigorously, as though to cleanse herself of the experience.
Eventually she turned off the water, dried herself and dressed in the loose clothes suitable for meditating, then stepped outside to clean her teeth. Looking at herself in the mirror above the basins, she thought, “I still look like me, I haven’t metamorphed into that monster overnight.”
Wandering back to her room, she determined to research Heinrich’s life and past. ‘I’ve never even heard of him. Why would I have? He’s from another planet. Who is this he? Obviously some mad monk?’ she conjectured. Her laptop was at home and there was no internet café at the retreat, so she would have to wait until she could look up the name.
Where there had been activity in the ablution block and the noise of people arising and going to the large hall, now there was only silence. Not even a cough broke the silence and darkness prevailed. Seating herself on the bed, as there were no chairs in the cells, she tried to meditate.
As soon as she gathered her legs together and assumed the lotus position, then closed her eyes, again and again, fragments of the scene intruded.
‘Heinrich, my name is Heinrich and I live in Selestat in the Alsace. I am a Dominican monk.’
‘Oh My God,’ she moaned deep down in her soul.’ Now what? I’ve got four more nights to go after this. No wonder I tried to bolt, my psyche was surely warning me, but did I take heed? Not on you nelly. Not when I can keep flagellating myself. What the hell is in front of me now?
Her mind was suddenly illuminated. It was as though someone had turned on a switch. “Oh my God, that’s it! I’ve spent my life beating myself up, because I could not please my father, Benjamin or Owen. I’ve been put in these situations, so I know how it feels to be set upon. To hell with it, it’s over.”
Strictly forbidden to speak with any one else, her mind kept drifting off during the meditation session to this revelation, which she now believed was a past life. ‘What would the consequences of it be in her current life?’ she wondered.
“I’m out of here right after breakfast,” she told herself firmly as reason asserted itself.
However, as the meditation session continued, she finally found herself in that place she desired, where her soul could speak with her.
‘Stay, stay,’ it told her. ‘There is much for you to learn. Stay.’
This freaked her out almost as much as the epiphany, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized she didn’t want to give up. She had given up so much in her childhood and marriages. Now she was making a life for herself, being responsible for her decisions and actions and enjoying the experience.
Spending the time dithering between staying and leaving, she carried on a raging argument with herself about it, then dithered some more. ‘Good grief, I am so torn, I feel as though I am two different people.”
“And what’s this thinking something, or someone, is speaking to me. Come on, get a grip.”
Yet deep in the back of her mind, a tiny spark ignited something that spread to her heart and into her solar plexus. Listening quietly, she felt herself drawn into the abyss and found it was not a frightening place, but one where the soul took wing and flew.
So she spoke to the teacher, who had invited her to return the next day and give him her decision, telling him of her experience.
“Perhaps your soul is trying to tell you something,” he suggested quietly, then remained still and quiet, looking at her with compassion once more.
Tamsin looked back at him and a connection seemed to establish itself between the two of them. ‘Had she known him in a different life?’
Her surroundings disappeared as they had the night before. She appeared to be by a lake in China, which was surrounded by high mountains. It was breathtakingly beautiful. Built out into the lake was a pagoda. In her mind, she approached the pagoda from a small jetty, then opened the red door and entered. The single room looked out onto the water with the mountains in the background. Seated in the middle of the room was a Chinese Sage. She approached and bowed to him.
Acknowledging her with a slight bow of his head, he waited whilst she sank on to her haunches, and then held her mind with his own. A great peace enveloped her, as she floated to a distant peak.
“Will you stay?” she heard the Teacher in front of her ask and came back to the present with a jolt.
Looking at him quizzically, he simply smiled enigmatically.
She made up her mind, deciding to stay and see this through. Thanking him, she took a deep breath and retreating, went back to sit on the large veranda surrounding the dining hall, to try and make sense of everything that was happening to her.
After all, the epiphany appeared to be an important memory, stored God knows where in her cells, and had been shown to her to sort herself and her life out.
It appeared the Taoists were right after all. In introspection, meditation and silence, all was revealed, whether you liked it or not.
And what was that thing about the pagoda on the water?
“I’m sure that kind, gentle Buddhist teacher in the hall, is in cahoots with someone or something, that is laying this on me,’ she grumbled to herself quietly, as they were still meant to maintain silence. “No wonder he wanted me to stay.”
“I obviously wasn’t cut out for a closed, silent order, so it looks like I went around beating the crap out of people who wouldn’t listen to my view of life.”
Mulling it over throughout the day, she decided, OK, she would stay the course. What did she have to lose? Her mind perhaps?
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