This book describes the effects of sexual abuse through the eyes of a young woman fighting for freedom. Katya Cole uniquely combines a telling of her story with research, insight, and God.
What do you do when you've been betrayed? When your heart’s been taken and used and thrown away? What do you do when your father is a murderer? What do you do when your beauty defines you? When your past is your present and your present confines you? What do you do…when you’re me?
Embracing My Father's Shadow is the story of my struggle to overcome a history of sexual abuse. I’m boldly open and honest about my abuse, my sin, the birth of my faith, and everything in between.
This narrative is all-encompassing. It addresses topics all women can relate to such as believing the Gospel and battling sin. Here's what's included: Insight into the trauma of sexual abuse and the damage sin can cause; an unfiltered telling of my story, from the depths of pain to the joys of healing and the highs of traveling the world; a brief summary of the Gospel: what I deserve because of my sin and what my future holds through dependence on God, belief in Jesus, and fellowship with the Holy Spirit; an adaptation of the Twelve Steps; and a closing chapter on combating lies and fighting sin.
These pages will take you beyond the simple facts and through the war within me. These pages will reveal my brawl with deep insecurity. These pages will show you me.
Excerpt
Embracing My Father's Shadow Preface
Just like you, I also used to read about other women's stories. I spent a great deal of time and energy trying to make even the slightest sense out of my reality. I was grateful for the valuable research that’s been compiled, and I thought the accounts were useful, but only occasionally did the words truly address the heart of what I was feeling. I was looking for something just a little bit different. I was hoping to hear a woman’s story.
There was a time when I read a short story about a woman who had been abused by her father and proceeded to meet Jesus later in her life. The story went somewhat like this:
“Hi. This is what happened to me. Then one day I met Jesus and everything changed.” Now hold on. This woman is wonderful for having shared her story, and I’m thankful for everyone that does. It takes a strong heart to admit the damage that has transpired, and I do agree that Jesus is the answer, yet when I read this, I could not wrap my head around what appeared to be another instantaneous deliverance story.
I longed for someone to tell me about the war within her. I wanted someone to tell me about what happened to her, about the days she failed and the days she struggled to believe she deserved to be well again. I desperately needed someone to tell me just how hard it had been for her to arrive at such an admirable place. I wanted her to tell me of her struggle with sin. We’re all sinners, and sinful reactions to ugly abuse are still sin…I was dying inside to hear someone tell me that I was normal and that what I was feeling was okay. And I wanted to know what happened leading up to her fairy tale ending.
I wanted to know the whole story, not just the parts about the abuse itself. And I hungered for a woman to be real with me. Given the chance, I would’ve dared someone to tell me everything. When I couldn’t find that someone, I chose myself—that’s why I’m here. I’m here to tell you the truth. I’m here to assure you that change isn’t going to happen overnight. I’m here to encourage you in your search for freedom. I’m here to tell you my story. I’m here to tell you everything.
The first four sections of this book include my story and a summary of my hope. The last section concentrates on steps you can take towards healing. The last section also contains a discussion on thinking critically and killing sin. I’ll admit; this book is risky, but the redemption story is quite ravishing. I don’t hesitate to tell you that many times I’ve taken three steps backward only to move one step forward. I will completely expose myself in the remaining pages. My history is blunt, and my sins are bare.
I don’t believe that hiding anything from you will benefit you in any way. Here’s why: The rich redemption stories of the Bible are authentic and raw. And if God has chosen to be the author of an unfiltered story, I see no reason why I shouldn’t do the same. Woven in between God’s perfection is humanity’s imperfection, and the Bible openly describes the many stains of sin.
At no point in this book do I intend to overlook or blatantly tolerate my sin. On the contrary, I share of my struggles so you can see the wicked depths from which God has saved me.
My prayer is that this book will provide you with truth—truth regarding the effects of sin and the Truth of God’s Word that will ultimately save you. My prayer is that this book will offer you hope that God will use your past to reveal the promise of your future found in Jesus Christ alone. I pray that you learn to overcome the shadows within your life—the dark overtones of sin, pain, and rejection. I pray that you embrace them and count them as blessings that will ultimately develop your faith.
Professional Reviews
From Kindle Reader
Thought is was just about sexual abuse, but it was much more. The trouble it can cause, learning from it and how a strong woman heals from it.
Though I was not sexually abused by my father, I went through many abuses from men in other ways. I felt what she was going through. Her experience inspired me. Her journey into healing was very helpful. I would recommend this book for anyone that has gone through any type of abuse or not, just to know what its like, and also for counselors for the deep understanding.
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