Amazon
Category:
Women
Publisher: karendaniels.com
ISBN-10: 1463678819
ISBN-13: 9781463678814
True IVF stories and inspiration from the women who have been there. In-vitro fertilization is not a journey you need to take alone.
The women in this book who share their stories, thoughts, and lessons learned, have been in the IVF trenches - some for long periods of time. We call them the IVF veterans. They've struggled, cried, laughed, and inspired. Let their experience guide you through the process and use their knowledge and tips as a beacon of insight for your own journey. In-vitro fertilization is, on your best days, a journey that empowers you toward your ultimate goal of being a mom. And on your worst days it can be a nightmarish and depressing black-hole from which you feel you’ll never emerge. Yet emerge you will. Every woman always does. And while on your journey let the women in this book hold your hand and be your friends. We are here for you and wish you a speedy and successful IVF journey.
Excerpt
Faith is a soft gentle feeling - a sweet spot upon which to rest your fear. I don’t know exactly where faith lies in one’s body, but you know it when you have it. Perhaps faith is borne out of the fear itself, or the realization that once you’ve done all you can do there is nowhere else to go but forward. In the end, what else is faith, but your all?
Introduction
I used to believe that if a woman were meant to have a child – she would. In-vitro fertilization, IVF, was only for those who didn’t know when they should give up. And then I found myself to be one of those women. But, rather than go childless, I changed my opinion. What the hell!
Even in the midst of infertility and IVF I didn’t consider myself infertile. Just having problems conceiving. It was denial, of course, a way of not putting myself in a slot for fear I’d stay stuck there. Each month I longed for pregnancy, and each month when menses began, I mourned. A deep form of grief, as if each unfertilized egg were the loss of a child. Because for me it was. I cried a lot, often when alone for fear of appearing obsessed, which I was. The longing for a child does not diminish with failure, or even when faced with the impossibility of it due to age or hormone levels. I was already in my 40’s when I began my IVF journey.
I think I believed that having a child is a fundamental right of femaleness. I never wanted children, even well into my 30’s. I was too selfish, and knew it, and didn’t want my life changed in that way. So I went along my merry way and then it started to creep in, the need, the longing. It was as if I’d grown past my wanting to live only for myself. I wanted something more, something bigger, something beyond me. And then I got married and we tried to get pregnant. Months passed. No pregnancy. That marriage ended and with it, for awhile, my desire for children.
As a woman, it’s very difficult to accept that you are infertile. For a long time I felt betrayed by my body and I spent time trying to bring my energy into a place where my body could function normally, so I could conceive ‘naturally.’ I wondered, if it couldn’t work that way, was it not meant to be?
Or had I created the IVF journey in my life in order to learn something from it? I had no answer to this but the deep seated and firmly implanted need for a child drove me forward. I could not accept no children. Oh, I knew I could go on, and do things and even be whole, for I was. But this something more that are called children are the one thing you can’t move away from once they’re here. So even as I questioned whether it was right, we moved forward with IVF. I finally came to rationalize it like this; if I had a health problem I would seek whatever medical help needed to get well. IVF is a health problem, not a moral problem. I needed help to ‘get well.’
As I edit this book, the stories contained here are a look back, for a few years have since passed. And I am a mom. I had my first child when I was 46, and then I had twins at 48. (My whole journey is laid out in my book In-vitro Fertilization: The Ultimate Reality Game).
Many things happened along the way. Some horrible. Some great. One of the great things was the women – the amazing, strong, powerful women who were living in the IVF trenches with me, going back for more in
Surviving In-vitro Fertilization 11
their quest to become MOM. These are the IVF veterans. Some of their stories are contained in this book.
IVF is, on your best days, a journey that empowers you toward your ultimate goal of being a mom. And on your worst days it’s a nightmarish-depressing-energy-sucking-black-hole from which you feel you’ll never emerge.
Yet emerge you will. Every woman always does, in one form or another.
The stories contained in this book are from women who have been there, in the IVF trenches. They all have a story to tell, and some hard-earned thoughts they want to share with other women who are considering, or just starting, the IVF road.
May your IVF journey be short and fruitful.
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