Kindle Edition
Amazon
be-to-ce_publishing
Amazon
be-to-ce
Category:
Relationships
Publisher: be-to-ce_publishing
ISBN-10: 1519631499
Type: Non-Fiction
Pages: 101
Copyright: Nov 29, 2015
ISBN-13: 9781519631497
Price: $6.99 (eBook)
Learn the secrets how to be instantly LIKED by others and how to speak easily and confident with strangers! Learn how to negotiate like a Pro and captivate your audience within seconds!
Feeling insecure when talking to strangers? Don´t know what to say when it comes to Small Talk? Need more confidence in Negotiations or speaking in front of an audience?
Learn the secrets how to be instantly LIKED by others. How to speak easily and confident with strangers! Learn how to negotiate like a Pro and captivate your audience within seconds!
This Reference Guide to “Win Friends and Master to lead Conversations” will help you to reach your goals. Just think about it - COMMUNICATION is KEY - everywhere!
Grab your Copy NOW – before the authors Promotion ends!
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Excerpt
CHAPTER 3
HOW TO START A CONVERSATION
WITH ANYONE (AND WHAT TO SAY)
How would you like to be able to speak to anyone? When you learn how to follow the communication process and it's various parts, then you not only will be able to speak with anyone that you come in contact with, but you'll also communicate clearly in other mediums and sell people on your ideas easier. There are four main parts to effective communication, which are:
THE MAIN GOALS OF COMMUNICATION
Goal 1 - Start a conversation with someone.
Goal 2 –Make the person excited or curiosity about what you have to say.
Goal 3 - Establish a connection, including another person in the conversation.
Goal 4 - End the conversation after inspiring the person to take action.
ALL THE FACTORS THAT PLAY A ROLE IN
HOW EASY IT IS TO COMMUNICATE WITH OTHERS
Before you ever take action by having a conversation with another person, you're influenced by the setting you're in, the amount of risk involved in having an interaction with the person and how appropriate you believe that it is to speak with this person. Honestly, these things shouldn't stop you from speaking to whomever you want at any time, but they do play a role in how you perceive the situation and how the person that you're speaking with responds.
The setting of the interaction plays a big role in how easily you'll feel it is to begin a new conversation. If you're in a professional setting, you might feel like it's easy to start a new conversation if you are senior to the employee you want to speak with. Alternatively, if you're of a lower standing professionally, it could be more difficult for you to start a conversation with a higher standing professional. When it comes down to it, the setting you're in influences how you're perceived.
Although perception plays a big role with how people communicate, it should never stop you from speaking to another person. When people communicate with each other, there's normally a reason for doing so. Depending on your mindset at the time and how you feel about your interaction, the person you're speaking with will pick up on what you're getting at and act accordingly. Depending on the place you're at, your own thinking about the interaction, and the other person, you can either have a positive interaction, or a negative interaction. Two different people could have the same conversation and get totally different responses from someone else just because of these factors at play.
When you factor in your setting and your perception of the situation then you can come to the conclusion about how much of a risk it is to speak with another person. Your timing comes into play here because some times are more appropriate to hold a conversation than others. The risk is either very high or very low depending on who you're speaking with, what your topic of conversation will be, your setting, and your perceived value. Now that you're aware of all the things that affect a conversation before it actually begins, let's walk you through starting a conversation with another person.
A SIMPLE WAY TO GET MOTIVATED
TO SPEAK WITH SOMEONE NEW
Imagine all the conversations that you've failed to have every day of your life. You've potentially passed by hundreds of thousands or even millions of people in your lifetime. Each person has his or her own unique experiences in life, a different perspective, job title, and family. Starting a conversation with someone new is so important for a variety of reasons. You can change your life, your world, and your experiences, just by meeting new people. But in order to do so, you have to initiate the conversation. Otherwise, you'll have no interaction with new people, and no new experiences.
Soon you're going to learn how to communicate with other people. These techniques work effectively for strangers as well as for people who you already know but are having difficulties communicating with. When you learn the different parts of initiating a conversation then you'll develop your communication skills and understand what methods work best for you when it comes to communicating with others. Not only will you understand how to begin a conversation, but you'll also learn how to identify people who would like to speak with you, what to do in both social and business environments, and how the outcome you want will shape your future conversations.
Whenever you practice the techniques in this section, make sure that you are doing what's comfortable for you. If you want to go to a new place that you've never been so that you can develop your communication skills on random people, that's fine. If you need some friends to accompany you, that's all right too. Do whatever it takes for you to feel comfortable and safe communicating with strangers. Start slow and understand that it's okay to have a support system in your environment if necessary, to help you develop your communication skills.
WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO KEEP THE
END OF YOUR CONVERSATION IN MIND
Before you consider what you should say to someone, you have to decide what it is that you want from that person. Communication is all about expressing your thoughts and feelings to another person for a desired outcome. Your reason for conversing with someone might be based on a business need. Perhaps you want to win a new client, make a sale, or find out some information that you need to know. Your reason for interacting with someone else might also be for a social reason. Perhaps you want to speak with someone who has shared interests as you, make new friends, or just make someone's day a little bit better. Your motivation doesn't have to be major, it can be as minor as speaking to someone so that they smile and improve their mood.
So the first thing you want to understand is your motivation for starting a conversation. Start by deciding what exactly you want the outcome of your conversation to be so that you can choose the right words and tone of voice.
I once had a boss that was pretty good at her job, but fairly tough on her employees. She knew how to get people frustrated about their job by pointing out what they were doing wrong but wasn't able to communicate with her employees on how to change their ways and do their job properly. Because of her lack of communication skills unfortunately many employees gave up on her and the business. When you learn how to communicate with people effectively by determining what exactly you want to get out of any interaction, you'll be able to shape the conversation for everyone's benefit.
Consider exactly what you want your outcome to be. If you want to sell to someone, your interaction looks a lot differently than when you just want to find someone cool to connect with. In certain circumstances, it's not effective to simply have a selling conversation by allowing it to shape your words and tone. Instead, you have to come up with a creative way to begin a relationship so that you can eventual get to the sales process after formal introductions have been made and you locate how exactly you can help another person's business. When you focus on selling first thing in a new conversation, you're likely to fail because you haven't connected well to your prospective client. Instead, you can break the goal of selling to a new prospect into parts. The first part could be that you want to learn and interact with new people to find out who could benefit from your services. Next, you'll want to have a conversation about meeting up to discuss how you can both work together, and then focus on selling your products or services to help your prospective client.
In a sense, determining what you want your outcome to be is like working backward. By deciding ahead of time what your interaction should lead to, you'll be more comfortable and confident in your interactions. You can relax and focus on getting one goal achieved so that you can continue to the next goal and further your relationship.
ONE FUN TECHNIQUE FOR
STARTING A NEW CONVERSATION
One of the best techniques for starting a conversation is to set your reasons for interacting with someone straight at the beginning of the conversation. Everyone has wondered at some point why it is that someone else is speaking with us at either a conscious or subconscious level. You can make people feel at ease by being direct about what you want right from the beginning of the conversation by choosing your words and tone correctly. The best way to get someone to open up with you is by sharing why you're choosing to speak to this person, what it is that you're trying to get out of this interaction, and how long the conversation will take.
When you look at communication from another person's perspective, you'll be able to predict all of their potential questions about why the interaction is taking place. This leads to a better interaction between you and the other person. For example, you might go to a restaurant and want to know what the best meal you can order is. Maybe you see a table next to you that has a variety of food and you decide to ask the waiter, "What's the best thing to eat here?" You might get a satisfactory answer, but if you provide more information to the waiter about what exactly you're looking for then you'll surely get a better outcome and come closer to finding out not only what's good to eat, but what you'll enjoy eating.
Instead of saying, "What's the best thing to eat here?" what if you said something like, "Hello, I'm a vegetarian that enjoys a meal that's filled with vegetables. My husband also has gluten intolerance. What would be the best meal to order that meets those two requirements?" When the waiter thinks about it, she's going to come up with a much different answer then you were likely to receive using the first question.
In that example, it's fairly obvious why you're asking your waiter what the best meal on the menu is. Perhaps you wanted to go a different route by asking someone outside of the restaurant about their experience. In this case, what would be more effective to say to someone who is leaving the restaurant that looks full and content, who's holding a large to-go bag? "What's the best thing to order here?" is definitely the most direct question, but they might wonder why you have selected to ask them what to eat instead of your waiter.
What if you said, "Excuse me, you look like you've had a good meal. I was wondering if you could recommend a good dish for my husband and I. This is our first time eating here." Right off the bat with the second question, you explain why it is that you're interacting with this person, why you've selected them to speak with instead of anyone else, and the information that you're seeking from the interaction. You're much more likely to receive an in-depth review of the food by phrasing your question that way.
WHY EXPLAINING YOUR GOALS HELPS
TO CONTINUE A CONVERSATION
Now in today's world everyone is in a hurry. One common question that people have is how long an interaction is going to take, because some people don't want to feel awkward about ending a conversation prematurely. The length of your encounter should also determine what you say to people in order to have the best potential interaction. If you just have a short question and want someone to respond to you well, you could say. "Hey, I have a quick question for you. Where can I find the highway from here?" That way the other person understands that you won't take up their time, since it's just a quick encounter.
When you focus on communicating in way that the other person interprets your words, then you become a much more effective communicator. The facts that you go into detail about are just as important as what you don't convey during the conversation. Selecting your words properly leads to a better interaction since your desired outcome is clear to the other person. That's why it's so important to think about what you want to get out of the conversation and then determine all of the questions that the person you're speaking with may have. You can address their concern of how long a conversation is going to take, why you've selected to speak with them specifically, and what you want to get out of the interaction by focusing on the needs of the other person.
When it comes to communication, one of the biggest factors to what you say and how you say it comes down to the environment you're in. Most people find some topics of conversation appropriate in certain settings, yet inappropriate in other environments. Let's take a look at the different environments where you might feel compelled to strike up a conversation and how you can go about with a successful interaction no matter where you happen to find yourself.
One of the most awkward situations for people who have not developed great communication skills occurs when they have to speak with a stranger. Some people just don't like speaking with other people, no matter what environment they're in. If you dread speaking to strangers, then everything is about to change for you as you learn how to converse with strangers in a multitude of different settings. Soon you'll be comfortable speaking to anyone at anytime. It doesn't matter whether you're at a social event, a business event, or in random public setting. With a little thought, you can determine how to start a conversation the right way so that you get to know the person you're speaking with and move closer to your desired outcome. Let's discuss all of the environments you may find yourself in where you want to interact with a stranger.
HOW TO SPEAK WITH STRANGERS
(IN PUBLIC PLACES)
Public places make up a large portion of where people spend their time. Public spaces include the library, the park, your favorite coffee shop, and many other places that you visit daily. Most of the time people visit public places without a reason for speaking to someone and no one knows the commonalities or the differences of people that are located there. Speaking to people in public places has the ability to add excitement to your world and can provide you with new opportunities that add to your success. Since most people don't have an agenda when they go to public places, striking up a conversation can lead you just about anywhere, plus it's a great way to add some excitement to the moment.
Since speaking to new people presents so many opportunities for your social and business development, why not speak with someone who is around you? After we cover potential topics of discussion, you'll also learn how to tell if someone is looking for a social interaction so that you can have an awesome experience that most people would miss out on.
WHAT TO SAY AT GROUP EVENTS
Where you are located with the rest of a group of people is enough of a connection that allows you to hold a conversation anywhere. You already have some shared interests; otherwise you wouldn't be at the concert, movie, or sporting event that you're all attending. That fact alone can present the topic of conversation for you so that you can have an interaction. Start off a conversation by asking open-ended questions that require more than just a yes or no answer. Some examples include:
"What's the last concert you attended?"
"How often do you attend this event?"
"What's your favorite sports team?"
All of these questions take queues from your environment and allow for other topics of conversation. Even if you receive a short answer to any of your questions, it lets you ask additional questions to receive additional information. The most interesting questions discuss what someone has experienced, how they've achieved certain things, and what their feeling is toward events that have taken place. When you ask an interesting topic, the person you're speaking builds interest in what you have to say next and it takes them away from the standard repetitive and boring topics of conversation.
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