Dead man Tweeting? What would you do if the spectral victim of a murder appeared at your door demanding you resurrect his case? Discovery of Willum Granger’s severed body was the animating force behind Police Detective Arkaby’s most troublesome case. Why is Granger back from the detached departed? The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak as Arkaby reluctantly accepts his ghostly challenge.
I Tweet, Therefore I Am, Twitstery Twilogy Book 3, is a fast, funny mystery composed of Arkaby's real-time Twitter account, a sleuth so full of himself he continuously tweets his investigative activities.
Police Detective Arkaby thought he had resolved the strange murder of millionaire industrialist and bleeding edge bio-scientist Willum Mortimus Granger, whose completely severed body he discovered at the beginning tweet of Executive Severance, Book 1 of the Twitstery Twilogy. Arkaby is a by-the-book procedural investigator so full of himself he tweets every particular of his investigation.
Imagine Detective Arkaby's surprise in The Golden Parachute, Book 2 of the Twitstery Twilogy when he received a ghostly visit from someone who appeared to be the previously deceased Willum Granger and who offered him big bucks to find his missing daughter, Regi Granger, but only if he continued tweeting. The spirit was willing but the flesh was weak. Still skeptical Detective Arkaby reluctantly traveled to the Caribbean where he not only located Regi, but also stumbled across the now reconnected body of Willum Granger in a Caribbean medical school autopsy lab.
In I Tweet, Therefore I Am, Book 3 of the Twitstery Twilogy, Arkaby and Regi return with her father's body to the States where a new murder mystery awaits them. Strange things are happening at Willum Granger's medical hospital and cloning laboratory, Body Parts R Us, where someone liquidates his brother, Farley Granger, in a gruesome and humiliating manner. It is up to Arkaby and Regi to solve this second murder and uncover the secret of his original mystery visitor. One problem: Arkaby is the chief suspect in Farley Granger's murder!
Executive Severance was published in book form by NeoPoiesis Press in 2011 and can be found here: http://amzn.to/29AQwFf.
The Golden Parachute was released as a Kindle eBook this past July: http://amzn.to/2aphOUF.
I Tweet, Therefore I Am launched as a Kindle eBook January 16, 2017
Excerpt
Chapter 1.
God, is My Copilot?...
The rest is silence. A dark pool opens at my feet and I jump in, eyes wide shut. The pool has no bottom which means I soon will reach China.
?? I should open my eyes. I’m either dead or my watch has stopped. Death is not what I expected. First of all I’m still really hot…uh oh.
I remember a loud boom, a sharp blow and then nothing. Seems I’m still tweeting, way down here. One thing’s certain: I’ll stay with Verizon.
I experience the ineffable. No more mysteries. I’m done collecting clues, collaring culprits, confronting cons. I’m perfectly at peace.
This transpires when you expire. You Rest in Peace. I thought it was just a slogan like “The Medium is the Message.” You live and you learn!
Pull yourself together Arkaby! You’re not the first person caught dead to rights. You won’t be the last. You’ve escaped from tougher fixes!
It takes two people to make you, one people to die. Cut in two, Granger unified. He did it once, I can do it too. Except he’s still dead.
My father used to say the reason for living was to get ready to stay dead a long time. I beg to differ. You don’t need a reason to stay dead
I tweet therefore I am. When young I believed death a phenomenon of the body; now I know it is a function of the mind, assuming you have one
That’s my way back. By my tweets ye shall know me. So long as men can tweet, or eyes can see, so long lives this, and this gives life to me.
“Arkaby wake up!” “Lemme sleep Ma I’ll find a job tomorrow.” I open my eyes. I’m lying on the tarmac next to Granger’s body. “I’m not dead?”
Professional Reviews
Though reality is not copy protected, fair-use stipulations do apply
"The I Tweet, Therefore I Am is not only a paean (not pain) to Twitter, but to mystery and time-travel stories as well, bringing us: twisted palindromes; just desserts spelt or spelled backwards; meditations on 'dreeting' or 'tweaming' which happens when sleep tweeting; and not just Farley but also Stuart Granger (stranger than true but true). And there are lots of memorable music references, too, including 'Torn Between Two Lovers,' one of my all-time favorite lame songs."
But there's nothing lame about I Tweet, Therefore I Am. Read and enjoy, and do keep in mind its injunction that ‘though reality is not copy protected, fair-use stipulations do apply.’”
-Paul Levinson, author of The Plot to Save Socrates, Loose Ends, and Ian's Ions and Eons.
A Phantwitsmagoria
"The genre of Twitstery, established by Robert Blechman in his Executive Severance, turns to Phantwitsmagoria in the final book of his trilogy, I Tweet, Therefore I Am. A detective story written in tweets takes readers into a crazy voyage to a mystic Caribbean island, somewhat reminiscent of H.G. Wells' The Island of Dr. Moreau with an odd campus on it. This is most likely the only detective novel in the world, literally (oh, yes, twitterally) stuffed with Marshall McLuhan quotes. Adepts will appreciate the play of allusions, while detective novel fans will just enjoy the story full of irony and witty puns."
— Andrey Miroshnichenko, author of Human as Media: The Emancipation of Authorship.
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