Kindle Edition Amazon Category:  Action/Thriller Publisher: Bancroft press ISBN-10:  1610882113 Type: Fiction Pages: 308 Copyright: 2017 ISBN-13: 9781610882118 Price: $9.99 (eBook) Barbra Streisand has been a show business staple for decades, from Funny Girl and Hello, Dolly! to The Way We Were and, more recently, the Fockers franchise. Whether gracing a stage, screen, or album cover, Barbra's iconic silhouette is a globally-familiar image. We know Barbra the star, but how well do we know Barbra the woman? In Dr. Alma H. Bond's latest installment of her On the Couch series, Dr. Darcy Dale―a renowned New York City psychiatrist whose expertise has been sought by such larger-than-life women as Jacqueline Onassis Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe, and Hillary Clinton―is confronted by Barbra, dismayed after 30 years of minimally successful therapy. Over the course of a year, Dr. Dale conducts an intimate psychoanalysis, breaking through ego, defense mechanisms, and repressions to go deep into the heart and mind of one of America's last remaining superstars. Excerpt Preface I had finished with my last patient of the day. It happened to be my birthday, and I was in a hurray to get home to dress for a party given by my friend Pat LaMarche for the occasion. My secretary Rivka Ruben had already left and I was about to close up shop when there was a loud banging at the door. Curious as to who might be calling at this late hour in the mugger-glutted city of New York, I looked out through the peephole on the door. There I saw a frumpy looking woman with a scarf wound around her head whose face seemed somewhat familiar. Who could that be, I wondered, and why is she bothering me on my birthday? She knocked again, even louder this time, shouting, “Open up, Doc! You’re supposed to be a doctor, aren’tcha? Well, I wanna see ya!” Feeling a bit intimidated by her bluntness, but feeling curious, I opened the door. She put out her hand brusquely. I was surprised to see that her hand and arm were graceful and lovely, with half-inch long fingernails manicured with blood red polish. I learned later that her El Greco type hands have studied Siamese dancing and observed the antennae of insects. What a strange combination of qualities this woman has! I thought, “Yes?” I said. “What can I do for you?” She answered in a heavy Brooklyn accent, projecting her words forward toward the front of her mouth, almost like a slight open-mouthed pucker. She spoke in a fast New Yorkish way, using Brooklyn inflections and sparse consonants “I was drivin’ around the ciddy and thought of ya. Until the day she died Marilyn Monroe told everybody in Hollywood that ya’re a wonderful analyst. The scuttlebutt around town was that if she had continued her treatment with ya she would still be alive. Although it was years ago and I was only a little kid just starting to make the rounds, I remembered your name and thought I’d check to see if ya’ re still alive and kicking.” “Thank you,” I said. “I’m very flattered. But who are you?” She continued as if she hadn’t heard me, the words shooting out of her mouth as if fired by a machine gun. “I was driving by your office and got this sudden urge to see if ya were here. So I pahked my cah by a fire plug. I wanna see ya. Knowing me, if I don’t act on impulse I’d probably never get here.” I hesitated. “Well. It’s a bit unusual, but since you are here, let’s talk. But first tell me who you are.” She looked surprised that I didn’t know. She pulled herself up to her full five feet five inches and said proudly, “I am Barbra Streisand. Ya must be the only person in the world who doesn’t recognize me. Can I sit down now?” Used as I was to seeing celebrities, this one kind of knocked me off my feet. I took a deep breath and said, “Excuse me, Ms. Streisand. I wasn’t expecting you. By all means, have a seat.” She took off her raggedy coat and scarf, which I now understood were a disguise, and plopped herself down on Rivka’s chair, which was on wheels. The next thing I knew she shouted, “Whee,” and rolled across the office floor. “I feel like Miss Marmelstein! Ya know, the part I played in my first big Broadway hit, I Can Get it for you Wholesale.” After shaking my head to recover from the shock, the likes of which I had never seen in an analytic patient or even a guest, I decided I was being tested. I had actually seen the play, and I’ll never forget Yetta Tessye Marmelstein, the bizarre, beehived, unloved child of nineteen, who swooped down and swiveled her chair around to the audience to ask why all the other girls get called by their first names right away. ‘Oh, why is it always Miss Marmelstein?’ I remember thinking how talented the unknown quirky actress who played the hilarious Miss Marmelstein was, and that we would be seeing more of her in the future. Little did I know how accurate my prediction was! It was a psychiatric interview to end all interviews! Barbra looked very different without her disguise. Her hair was straight shoulder length blonde, which hung loosely down the sides of her face. She has a way of stroking her naturally shining hair with long, pale, spiky, fingers, as if she were soothing a crying child. At times she swings her hair to cut off the sides of her face, like curtains or the skullcap of a nun. She has a dramatically distinctive face with sculptured features that would attract any viewer like a magnet. But most distinctive of all are her azure-blue eyes, which were generously outlined and about the bluest I've ever seen. They are so charged I almost had to look away. Her mouth had slow-curving rises and sudden soft valleys, and was overlooked by her startling promontory of a nose. Nevertheless she exuded a lovely look I have never seen before, as though she were lit up from inside. She wore an artistically patterned tunic in various shades of orange, and tight fitting orange pants. An emerald Chinese figure of a woman hung from her neck, and her lovely arm was filled to the elbow with clattering gold bracelets. Even as she cavorted around in Rivka’s chair I could see that Barbra Streisand was a very sexy looking woman with a shapely figure. All the time she was wheeling around the room, she kept her stunning, cornflower-blue eyes directly fixed upon me, in a rather disarming way.‘She isn’t pretty,’ I thought, ‘ but I’ve never seen anyone who looks so alive. When she talks everything seems to move together, her slightly crossed eyes, her sensitive, humorously curved mouth, her lengthy nose, her graceful hands that she moves like a Balinese dancer.’ I felt exposed. Why did I feel the woman could see through my professional reserve, and knew everything about me? She must have extrasensory perception, I thought. I’ll bet no one ever gets away with lying to her. “Well, Doctor Dale,” she said, coming to a stop in her joyride, “whatcha think? What about it?” What about what? I answered. “Will ya see me for analysis or not? Or are ya turned off by my spontaneity?” I hesitated. It was true that I was used to potential patients treating me with deference and found her “spontaneity” in the present situation preposterous. And besides that, I wasn’t sure I liked her. There was a grandiose, narcissistic, hostile quality about her that I found off-putting. Could I work with someone I disliked, even if she was a famous star? Well, I can find out. A patient doesn’t come for analysis to be liked, I told myself, but to be helped. Maybe I even could help her get rid of her unpleasant characteristics. She certainly would be an interesting patient. So I decided to interview her, even if it was on my birthday “Let’s talk,” I answered, opening up my office door and beckoning her to enter.

Midwest Book review
―Midwest Book Review
“I’ve been a fan of Bond’s On the Couch series for years, but this one is absolutely her best. Barbra Streisand--with all her foibles and charms--comes alive on the pages of this book. Bond digs deep into Streisand’s psyche to give the reader a close-up look at a mega-star. Instead of a tell-all book that dishes out the dirt on her many co-stars, we follow along with Streisand as she herself recounts her many projects, affairs, and early history. Instead of a public relations–approved biography that glosses over Streisand’s need to be in control of her projects, this book revels in it, explores the reasons for a demanding actor/musician/director to behave as she does, and shows the reader just how dedicated to her craft Streisand is. Instead of a flat recital of a lengthy list of her songs and movies, this book sings along with Streisand’s character as Streisand herself explores the reasons for her behavior. Barbra Streisand: On the Couch is longer than Bond’s average books, but that length is needed to allow Streisand to explain herself and, as in real life, Barbra doesn’t hold back. If you’re a fan of her acting, her music, her career, or her activism, this is definitely a book you should read. Even if you’re not a fan, chances are you will be by the time you finish the book.”
—Ann Beardsley, Author, Historical Guide to NASA and the Space Program

Kitty Kelly
"Thoroughly enjoyable."
—Kitty Kelley, author of mega bestselling biographies on Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Rock Hudson, Elizabeth Taylor, Frank Sinatra, Nancy Reagan, the British Royal Family, the Bush family, and Oprah Winfrey


Tina Tessina
“As a psychotherapist myself, I have found Dr. Alma Bond's On the Couch series fascinating. This newest book is no exception. Being privy to her fictional analyst, Psychiatrist Dr. Darcy Dale, and her famous clients is entertaining and exciting. When this latest volume, a fictionalized account of Dr. Dale's analysis of uber-famous singer, actor, producer and director Barbra Streisand came to my attention, I had to read it right away. The book is a great read. It is organized like an analyst's session notes, a dated diary of each visit, during which Streisand's remarkable life unfolds. The content is fascinating, the writing is intimate and the dialog realistic. Of course, Streisand is a fascinating character, and I couldn't wait to hear the revelations to come in the next session. The sessions depicted in the book are full of revelations of insider knowledge and Barbra's feelings about both the good and bad parts of her life: Barbra says: "The writer of the screenplay [for Guilt Trip, a movie starring Streisand] Dan Fogelman, told me that the manuscript was written about his real mother (poor guy) [sic] who was also named Joyce. Dan said with tears in his eyes that she had died a few years earlier. I thought of my own mother, who was always a pain in the ass. When she died, I cried, too." Barbra sprinkles the sessions with Yiddish words from her Jewish upbringing, and there is a glossary of the words in the back of the book, which comes in handy. This will appeal to anyone who enjoys discovering information about such a celebrity, how she feels about the ups and downs of her life, and other juicy details of her storied sex life and stellar career. She also describes various places she has lived, from shabby to fabulous, as well as her beautiful wedding to James Brolin, her current husband. The book has a can't-put-it-down quality; the juiciness of the gossip, the emotional insights into her joy and pain, and the remarkable triumphs and failures of her long career are completely fascinating. Although the book is fiction, the author lists in a bibliography the numerous books and articles from which she garnered the very factual events and many of Miss Streisand's own words from interviews that she used to create the sessions. Dr. Bond was a Freudian analyst for thirty-seven years in New York City, until she retired to become a full-time writer. She has written On the Couch novels about Marilyn Monroe, Jackie Onassis, Hillary Clinton as well as Barbra Streisand. She is author of twenty one books. I thoroughly enjoyed reading Barbra Streisand: On the Couch, and I think you will, too.”