The Crew of Planet Janitor is hired to make the light jump to a far away planet in order to clean up a mysterious area for settlement. The object of the clean-up and the aftermath wiLL bring more horror than they realized.
Captain Zachary Crowe, owner of Planet Janitor, is in love with his busted down Russian ore freighter Shenandoah, and fancies himself an entrepreneur. He’s only been in business for four years, trying to wrangle planetary job assignments that deal with cleaning up the environment and making close solar system jumps to pick up precious ores and space trash. His crew consists of seven less than stellar professionals. Their problem is they’ve destroyed biological ecosystems and habitats through neglect, and incompetence.They’ve had bad press, bad luck, and bad breath…
That’s until the slick vice president of Orion Industries Real Estate Development hires Planet Janitor for a clandestine operation that entails a 26-light-year trip out to a newly found habitable planet in the Tau Ceti system.
Planet Janitor finds out too late that they’ve been suckered into a job that entails disposing of millions of skeletons—a genocidal graveyard. They soon discover what killed this indigenous species and, being ill prepared and unarmed, are caught up in a fever-pitched battle for their lives. They must contend with genetically engineered marsupial lions, drop-shipped on the planet by an alien species.These crew members, who’ve been failures and outcasts all of their lives, transform into a fighting unit that refuses to go quietly into the night.When it appears that they have vanquished the vicious creatures, they are faced with the arrival of the aliens who created these pet animal soldiers…then the real fight begins.
I think this story combines some of the elements of Robert Heinlein’s Starship Troopers, with a breathless fight to the finish, along with the inconceivable measures used to survive on a hostile planet that can be likened to the perils of Robinson Crusoe on Mars. The action is gritty and visual, while the characters discover that heroism and self-esteem is a trait that is best achieved via cooperative teamwork, self-worth, sacrifice and love for each other. One reader told me I had another Firefly; I didn’t know what that meant. Captain Zachary Crowe, owner of Planet Janitor, is in love with his busted down Russian ore freighter Shenandoah, and fancies himself an entrepreneur. He’s only been in business for four years, trying to wrangle planetary job assignments that deal with cleaning up the environment and making close solar system jumps to pick up precious ores and space trash. His crew consists of seven less than stellar professionals. Their problem is they’ve destroyed biological ecosystems and habitats through neglect, and incompetence.They’ve had bad press, bad luck, and bad breath…
That’s until the slick vice president of Orion Industries Real Estate Development hires Planet Janitor for a clandestine operation that entails a 26-light-year trip out to a newly found habitable planet in the Tau Ceti system.
Planet Janitor finds out too late that they’ve been suckered into a job that entails disposing of millions of skeletons—a genocidal graveyard. They soon discover what killed this indigenous species and, being ill prepared and unarmed, are caught up in a fever-pitched battle for their lives. They must contend with genetically engineered marsupial lions, drop-shipped on the planet by an alien species.These crew members, who’ve been failures and outcasts all of their lives, transform into a fighting unit that refuses to go quietly into the night.When it appears that they have vanquished the vicious creatures, they are faced with the arrival of the aliens who created these pet animal soldiers…then the real fight begins.
I think this story combines some of the elements of Robert Heinlein’s Starship Troopers, with a breathless fight to the finish, along with the inconceivable measures used to survive on a hostile planet that can be likened to the perils of Robinson Crusoe on Mars. The action is gritty and visual, while the characters discover that heroism and self-esteem is a trait that is best achieved via cooperative teamwork, self-worth, sacrifice and love for each other. One reader told me I had another Firefly; I didn’t know what that meant.
Excerpt
SIDUS LOG, ROTATION 18.
"The heat is oppressive – unrelenting. This afternoon it topped 126 degrees. All crewmembers are now wearing what they laughingly call ‘full battle dress.’ I wonder if the persistent cussing and damnations I am hearing are directed at me for imposing the rule. I’m sure they resent me, though not openly. Even Dendy has been short with me lately. She putters around in her garden and has thrown a number of fits directed at Carybell for what I would deem minor infractions.
Three of the automechs have lost servo power and keeled over on the desert floor. Their internal coolers quit and the electronics have melted causing surge failures. We can’t move the rest of them back into the hull area for fear of a premature detonation. They are wearing bomb packs, but they have not been armed yet. Carl and Samantha have all of the automechs wired into their remote portables, so either one can operate them as a group or independently. Even the machines can’t take the stress in this hellish place.
Galoot is recovering nicely. He seems to be the least affected by the hardships. With antibiotic supplements and Dendy’s care, his attitude and outlook have been on the rise. I’m elated to see improvement in him.
I can only laugh at Carl’s attempts to transform our buggy and vehicle fleet into makeshift war chariots. They remind me of the old 20th Century fighting demolition robots, only not as extreme. I hardly think they can be used effectively against the Jacks, but I have been proven wrong in the past by some of Carl’s innovations. I pray he does not get it in his head to drive out in this wasteland and do any safari-type hunting.
Our water supply is holding nicely, given the strict rationing I've imposed. No one has abused the rules. This fact has been the highpoint of our cooperation, when I first thought it might have proven to be our worst violation.
An old telescope has been fitted to the top of the ship near the emergency hatch, since our main gun scope was damaged upon impact. It is mounted on a makeshift railing. I call it the crow’s nest, and have spent many hours up there. It affords a view of the desert floor over the tops of the barrier fence. I’ve seen nothing moving out there, save for some of the armadillo creatures, which are intent on chasing the small locusts.
It is late in the evening. The chill is coming on. I will make one last on-foot patrol outside before we rally and close ourselves up in the ship for the night."
CAPTAIN ZACHARY CROWE, PJ.
ZAZ KNEW WHERE Dendy would be. Arriving at the garden, he stopped to admire the small plot. He had to admit that he liked the little garden, with its shade canopy, the struggling little seedlings trying to push up through the soil, and the sight of her in that chopped-down suit. It gave him some brief, but welcomed amusement. She looked like a miniature gladiator – all armored up with no games to attend. Carybell looked equally comical and weighted down, since it took great effort for her to crouch to push seeds in the dirt.
Zaz was just about to comment on the garden when he heard a deafening explosion.
Dendy dropped her water can. Carybell spun around. Zaz looked out across the compound. He could see a rising plume of dust at the southwest corner.
Samantha’s voice came over his wrist-com loud and clear. “We’ve got movement in the southwestern quadrant. They just jumped the fence and set off a trip wire!”
Zaz brought the scope to his eye in the dimming light. Behind him, rigged on the top of the ship, the high-intensity flood lamps popped on, pouring a swath of light over the compound and out onto the desert floor. He steadied the scope; he could see a segment of collapsed wall in the southwest corner. A cloud of volcanic ash began to rise up into a blunt mushroom shape. He saw bits and pieces of things on the ground but couldn’t tell if they were wall fragments or animal bodies. They might have been both.
Samantha trotted across the sand to where Zaz stood. She adjusted her portable view screen, focusing the image. “It’s no good,” she said. “They must have knocked the automech down before I saw anything. Carl’s motion sensor never tripped. All I’m getting is a close-up camera view of the sand. I’ll bring the snoop in there – it’s in another grid, so it will take some time. I’m sorry, I was preoccupied and not watching the screen.”
Moments later, Carl and Galoot appeared, dragging tripods and heavy weapons across the sand. They’d heard the explosion from inside the ship and knew it meant trouble. Carl had brought his portable screen under his suit vest and brought up a visual grid showing the placement of the pole bombs. Zaz didn’t know if there was another tripwire this side of the southwest corner. They didn’t have much in the way of explosives in that area to begin with. They had barely covered eighteen miles of fence line with fifty percent of their explosives inventory. The rest was held in reserve for the percussion weapons.
Zaz cursed himself. Naturally, I didn’t have anybody operating the telescope on the ship’s roof. We could have had an early warning!
Paddy and Lyle appeared in a huff. Paddy had a tank strapped to his back that led to a nozzle attached to a portable beam welder. He looked like a WWII infantryman ready to torch a cave full of hostiles. Lyle resembled a medieval warrior, complete with crossbow and bolt-filled quiver. There was a crank arrangement fashioned on the crossbow spine, designed to pull back tautly on a thin, strong wire. When Zaz looked at Dendy, he found that she’d taped a bird feather to the front of her helmet. She told him it was the way braves always went into battle.
This is what I’ve got for warriors, he thought bleakly. They were junkyard marines who’d never been in a battle in their lives, save for Carl Stromboli.
Zaz, with the scope to his eye again, was unsure of what he was seeing. “They’ve hesitated about coming through for now. Maybe we’ve given them something to think about. Carl, send about seven automechs out there in a wedge formation. Make it about one fifty yards wide. They might get over the shock and decide to push through. Arm the automechs when they’re far enough out.”
“Okay, but I still think we kicked their ass.”
“Don’t think,” said Samantha. “That’s how we land in trouble. Just send those automechs out there like you were told.”
Zaz did not want to see anything come through the fence into the compound. He had no idea how many creatures were out there, nor did he want to find out. He wished they would all go away – wiped from his sight and memory. That was never the way things really worked, though – not for Planet Janitor. They had always been dealt the black marble; nothing had ever been normal or easy for them
Professional Reviews
A Good Spaceship Thrill Ride
Planet Janitor opens mid-emergency with the crew of a run-down ore freighter stuck with the task of diverting a rogue asteroid from Earths busiest shipping lane. Soon they are hired on for a new mission, which lands them on a hostile planet light-years from home. What follows is an entertaining thrill ride, as the crew fight to complete their mission and stay alive.
The story has a classic sf theme to it, with plot twists that keep the adventure fresh and exciting. The crew reminds me of Firefly, a ragtag crew with competing dynamics and great dialogue. This kept me turning the pages to find out what happens to them.
I recommend this book to anyone who likes a good spaceship thrill ride. Definitely worth the read.
even the seemingly useless stowaway. The crew interact well together
This book ended up being a lot more of a mystery/thriller than I thought it would be. The mystery of the dangerous creatures and revelation of their background really threw me for a loop. And those creatures were also incredibly scary. There were some scenes that left a strong enough impression to make me hesitate to turn off the lights. All without any really gruesomely detailed scenes. There is mention of blood and guts, but nothing to really churn the stomach.
The cast of characters were equally engaging. Everyone had their place, their role to play, even the seemingly useless stowaway. The crew interact well together, with one or two exceptions that were stress induced. The characters are creative and intelligent and, most importantly, know how to get themselves out of bad situations.
When I was first contacted about Planet Janitor, I was told about its strong comparisons to Firefly. Admittedly, it was difficult not to picture Carl, the self-proclaimed doctor of pyrotechnics, as Jayne and Zaz certainly shares several of Mal's noble attributes, but I feel like this book/world is strong enough to stand on its own. Especially since, in this world, there was no major war (Alliance vs Independents) and much of this book takes place on the same planet.
I really enjoyed reading this book. There is humor, mystery, scares and more. If you're interested in Sci-Fi Survival stories, this is definitely the book for you. I highly recommend giving Planet Janitor a read.
New and Improved
With two additional short stories as prequels to the main story line, this spruced-up version of a classic science fiction novel is worth checking out more than ever. The new prequels demonstrate the crew's early abilities to take on the roughest job assignments and complete daredevil missions. The Planet Janitor crew, led by Captain Zaz Crowe, is known throughout the star system for throwing caution to wind, which makes these tales as fun as they are thrilling. It's all in the science and physics, and Chris Stevenson delivers with an authenticity that will keep you on the edge of your accelerator couch till the very end.
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