Click here to buy this book! Kindle Edition Amazon Lulu Category:  Women Publisher: One Way Cafe Press ISBN-10:  0979429307 Type: Non-Fiction Pages: 156 Copyright: 2007 ISBN-13: 9780979429309 Price: $14.99 (eBook) Andersen's insights into Christian response to domestic violence will benefit those experiencing abuse as well as those they are most like to turn to for help.   The woman whose spirit is being crushed and whose life is endangered by domestic violence needs straight answers—not unrealistic expectations or clichéd, stereotypical platitudes. In this book, she will get straight answers, clear scriptural direction, and some tough challenges from one who has been there but is there no longer. If a choice needs to be made between saving a life or making certain that we are making a theologically correct decision, go for the life every time. This book will save lives!       Excerpt The “stay and pray” counsel may be applicable in most marital disputes, but in the case of domestic violence it is not. It only serves to enable the abuser to comfortably continue his sinful and illegal behavior while keeping his victim in harm’s way. But such counsel is commonly accepted among evangelicals as the Biblical solution to domestic violence. When a battered wife wrote James Dobson that the violence within her marriage was escalating in both frequency and intensity and that she feared for her life, he replied that her goal should be to change her husband’s behavior—not to get a divorce (Love Must Be Tough, 1996). He did suggest leaving as a temporary solution, but only as a way of manipulating the husband’s behavior. I found it inexcusable that not one note of real concern for this woman’s immediate physical safety was sounded in his response—in spite of the fact that she clearly stated she was in fear for her life. Dobson counseled her to precipitate a crisis in her marriage by choosing the most absurd demand her husband made, then refusing to consent to it. This was not only absurd advice in a domestic violence situation, but life-threateningly dangerous as well, and very telling of the fact that, in spite of over 1000 deaths per year due to wife-beating, the wife beater is not generally viewed as a real threat to his wife’s life or safety. The option of legal recourse, such as arrest and prosecution for her husband’s criminal behavior, was never mentioned, and no spiritual or emotional remedies, such as church discipline or counseling for her husband, were explored—even though she wrote that her husband was a highly respected leader in their church. Dobson is not the only prominent evangelical who takes wife-beating so lightly. In an interaction recorded and transcribed from the tape entitled Bible Questions and Answers Part 16, the following question was asked by a member of Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, California and answered by the pastor, Dr. John MacArthur Jr. “How does a Christian woman react and deal with being a battered wife?” In answering this question, McArthur gave some very dangerous advice to battered wives. He said divorce is not an option to a battered wife, because the Bible doesn’t permit it. MacArthur did say it was all right for the wife to get away while the pressure was on, but only with the perspective that she was going to come back. He warned wives to be very careful that they were not provoking the abusive situations. Because, he said, that was very often the problem. Three years later, MacArthur said essentially the same thing (softened with a few disclaimers) in a booklet he still distributes today entitled “Answering Key Questions About the Family.” Dobson and McArthur seem to be on the same page when it comes to wife beating. How carelessly these two men, along with many other evangelical leaders, deal with the lives of women. Christian wives appear to be simply expendable in the name of good solid, patriarchal, male supremacist theology. Statistics on domestic violence vary widely, but it is estimated that four to five million women are violently abused each year in this country alone. And it is documented by the FBI that over one thousand of them die. But in spite of the danger, there still seems to be a strong taboo within the Christian community against counseling women in abusive marriages to get out.

Should be required reading for all pastors and counselors
This book was quite an eye-opener for me. It is the first hand account from a woman who was brutally beaten by her pastor husband. She explains the dilemmas faced by Christians in these situations who believe that divorce is wrong and are willing to risk their lives for those beliefs by staying in an abusive relationship. She does a good job presenting the problem in many churches where the staff seem to focus on getting the wife to not provoke the husband, rather than using church discipline to correct the out-of-control husband. But as the author explains, the abuse is going to occur whether there's real provocation or not. It is the abuser who is the problem, not the victim.

The book gave some excellent guidance in how to talk to someone you think is in this situation and how best to help. Although the material is mostly from a biblical perspective, the advice it provides would be useful for anyone, regardless of religion. For example, I was surprised to find that the trite comments we think are helpful and encouraging, are instead just the opposite. And she explains why women are so reluctant to go to the police or their pastors for help. This book should be in every church library and required reading for all pastors and counselors!

HOPE for Christian Women in Domestic Abuse
I just finished reading this book. It is EXCELLENT. The author did an absolutely fantastic job of communicating much needed and powerful truth in a readable style. I read it in a couple hours straight through (but I'm also a crazy reader!) and I like the fact that it is not so weighty that a person in abuse would be overwhelmed by it.

This book clearly and simply -- and compassionately -- reveals the seriousness of domestic abuse in the Christian church and shares God's answers for those walking in it.

And the Scripture throughout was what I needed personally right now, so that's an extra thank you. ;-)

This book is an important element in bringing hope, help and healing to women who've been given a death sentence by the church. I STRONGLY recommend it to anyone who knows someone experiencing abuse, to church leaders and counselors everywhere, and to those who are walking through abuse in their own life.

Wonderful Book, Beautifully Presented
This book forces open the door on a subject so many would rather avoid than face head on. It has never been acceptable to look away when someone is being harmed, yet we see that attitude all the time when it comes to spousal abuse. Victims of domestic violence are so often misunderstood because of the effects that abuse has on them. Women subject to the control and violent abuses of their spouses lose their dignity, self-respect, and spirituality. They need support from their community, not criticism.
Simply written, this book forces us to take a very honest look at ourselves and how we view (or choose not to see) this subject. It is so easy to pretend and avoid rather than face the ugly truth. This very moving book provides enough clarity to help us all have the strength we need to be honest and ultimately supportive of those who need it most.