Category: Women Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN-10: 1508425833
Copyright: February 23, 2015
ISBN-13: 9781508425830
Price: $9.99 (eBook)
Starting with her grandmother, a young woman fights an endless battle to make people look past her dark skin to see her!
At the early age of 10, Mindy was flung into a dark abyss of lies that made the world believe it was okay to create barriers against, and inflict pain upon, dark skinned people. Mindy learned that no one was more cruel and biased against her dark skin than other dark skinned people, including some members of her family. Being treated as though she did not matter while thoughtless, hurtful statements about dark skin were made by ignorant and bigoted people kept Mindy in constant fights for respect and recognition. Her opponents came from everywhere and Mindy was forced to battle colorism and racism her entire life. As she aged, Mindy learned to imitated the reactions of confident girls and women to hide the pain of the insults she endured. Even though she learned how to hurt those who hurt her, the pain of the experience was crippling. And, hiding the pain never lessened the agony of the experience.
Excerpt
Over the years, I sunk deeper and deeper into that dark abyss of being dark and I learned how to be someone other than me! I learned how to look at other people, study them quickly, extract certain characteristics from them and become that person. Most often I’d look at a White or Light-skinned woman who had an outgoing personality. I’d imitate her every action, movement, mannerism until I was no more. I’d project my personality, shyness and characteristics onto her and I’d leave them with her. That way I always felt fresh and new, confident and assertive. I could be anyone. After a few minutes of observations, I could move just as they moved. I talked as they talked, imitating the way their lips moved when they said certain words. I copied voice inflection and volume. Somehow, when I looked into the mirror I had retained such a strong image of the person I was imitating that there was no trace of me. No one ever knew about that aspect of my life. To the world outside, I was a strong, confident person.
A few years later I went on an audition for a television dance show. Cindy and I were sitting together talking when the Director spotted her. I could tell he took an instant liking to her. I told her not to mention or act like we were sisters. By this time, she understood the implications of color and even though she didn’t agree with me, she did as I told her to do. Cindy got accepted immediately. She was a very good dancer and a beautiful girl. The show’s director did a walk-through and she was the third girl accepted on the show.
The director pointed to two other women and me and said, “You can go, you girls are too dark for this show.” He was very aggravated. He continued with, “Your agents shouldn’t have sent you. Hell, this ain’t no commercial; we don’t want nothing darker than a vanilla wafer.” He said some curse words and looked at us with disgust in his eyes.
Cindy got up to leave but I gave her a sit down Cindy look! She understood and sat back down. I looked over at one of the light-skinned women sitting at the other end of the room. She seemed unaffected by his words, no empathy or sympathy at all. I immediately took on her persona. I looked at him with uncaring, empty eyes. I exhaled a long breath, took a card out of my wallet, placed it on the chair and said, “When you come to your senses and realize that you need a real dancer with a talent for the craft then you give my agent a call. My name is Cetayia.” It was a stage name I used. It was a part of the persona that I felt I needed to become someone else.
I didn’t smoke but I kept a pack of cigarettes for props. I also studied the old and silent movie stars because I didn’t think too many people would recognize their moves if they saw me imitating them. I lit a cigarette like I had seen Lauren Bacall do in so many movies. I gave the director one of those Clara Bow glances that used to make men weak and women envious and I walked out of the room. My hips swayed as deliberately as Betty Davis’ in so many of her movies.
“Who the hell are you?”
“You weren’t here for the auditions. Check the tapes.” I said without turning to look at him.
By the time I reached the door the other girls were waiting with tears in their eyes.
One of the girls grabbed my arm and cried out, “Why do they keep doing this to us? Why? How come they can just hurt our feelings like that?” She hugged me and cried on my shoulder, wetting my silk blouse. She thanked me for being strong and for saying something - anything - back to that director.
I whispered in her ear, “They get to try before they learn they are not good at something and then they experience failure but we have to overcome failure before we even get to try!”
Emotional, Inspirational and Quite Satisfying!
By Glenda on June 18, 2018
In the midst of my reading an anthology, How Dare We! Write: A Multicultural Creative Writing Discourse, edited by Sherry Quan Lee, (look for my review) I received The Dark Skinned Sister, by Amanda Grihm. The premise of both books relates to those of different races who decide to write their stories... I stopped to read Amanda's book and found that considering both books at one time provided a greater depth, a growing sense of relationship--a kinship that could develop between and among women of all races that I, as a white woman, would also benefit...
Women hesitate to share their innermost stories... Such was the case with Mindy, who at 10 years, came to intimately know and learn about people who created barriers between who they were with little girls who happen to have dark skin... What was amazing, though, was that many times, the pain was inflicted by those within her own race...
And it especially hurts if it is from a family member. Mindy had been named after her grandmother. In fact, Mindy's grandmother was darker that she was... It was therefore especially hard to understand why her grandmother said such nasty things to Mindy...
Yes, Mindy had similar problems at school and as she grew older. She noticed that African Americans who had lighter skin were better accepted by other students. But her skin was the color it was... Until, she tried to change it, first, by skin lightener...and then by using a cleanser to rub and rub her skin, hoping to lighten it. Instead, her skin was broken and her wounds began to bleed.
Mindy's grandfather had always been special for her and they would ride together and more... But he had a heart attack that summer and that happiness was taken away...
Depression soon arrived from having to deal with her pain--why was her dark skin causing so much turmoil in her life? What could she do about it?
Mindy was part of a single-parent family and her mother had to work hard to keep her two girls and son sheltered and fed. Soon her older brother was called on to help, but he soon realized that his own life was gone as he tried to fill the man's shoes for his family. As they grew older, it became worse before it got better...
This is an emotional, inspirational book about meeting adversity head on... I laughed and cried and certainly empathized with Mindy. I remember when I was about 10 also, I was at my grandmother's along with other family. An uncle looked at me and said "Hey Fatty..." I ignored him. My mother said, "Dale is talking to you." My response was that "No, he wasn't. That is not my name..." I walked off...
Each of us must decide whether or not we will love ourself and others as God made us. I chose to accept the challenge, just like Mindy, when I was hurt and treated cruelly or unjustly. I urge those who have been treated this way, or that has children who are being bullied, to read this book. Highly recommended!
