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Category:
Humor
Publisher: Lulu
Type: Non-Fiction
Pages: 191
A humorous look at a serious topic of how people do unkind things, and then cover up through humor, acting innocent, and blaming others. By telling stories, the author shows no one can be a sh*t without your consent, but they can succeed as b*stards, pr*cks, schmucks, and weasels. ead this book and you will be ready to dethrone the next person who dumps on you. For those who aspire to be shits, this book is a step-by-step guide. A great gift for your put-upon relatives and friends and a humorous hint to troublesome co-workers, friends, and family members. This book also demonstrates how to do theory testing using qualitative methods. This edition of the book uses asterisks to make it easier for those who prefer not to read slang in its fulness, but have a sense of humor. This book also shows how to do theory-testing using qualitative methods.
I wrote this book and had a wonderful time doing it. It was great fun to develop and test a theory of being a shit. I am a professor and believe in the scientific method.
I learned about being a sh*t through my research on violence, where I saw so many perpetrators throw their children under the bus, so to speak, rather than tell the truth that they abused their children. I saw many of the same things with rapists and murderers. Somehow their victims were at fault.
As I realized how many violent people cover up their unkind deeds, I started to see that the rest of us do it, too, though our deeds aren't as awful--usually--as the deeds I heard so much about in my research.
I decided to write a book about the everyday kinds of unkind deeds that we all are guilty of. I first developed a preliminary theory and then I tested it on a series of stories. I end with a revised and improved theory and in the process discover basic principles of how to build bridges after you have done something unkind and dishonest.
This is a humorous look at a serious topic. If we all could do what this book advocates, we'd all be better off and the world would change. I'm not too optimistic in that regard because being a shit gains far too much for enactors to ever give it up.
I had an agent for this book, but when he sent it around, the manuscript was in bad shape. The agent was not able to sell this book, although I got a lot of enthusiastic comments about its potential. The present version is much improved and it is sure to help you, your put-upon relatives and friends to deal with this ubiquitous human condition. The book will also be a gentle hint to troublesome co-workers, friends, relatives, and neighbors.
For readers who aspire to be shits, this book is a step-by-step guide.
Above all, this book is a response to a pressing social need.
humorists, spouses, teachers, therapists, social workers, addicts, survivors, parents, researchers
Excerpt
Chapter 2 Shedding Light in Dark Places
Getting others to believe it is their fault is the crowning achievement of being a sh*t
No matter where we go, we run into other people who practice the art and craft of being a sh*t. We are awash in execrable behaviors. Everyone contributes to them. They are such a part of everyday life that we fail to notice them and, as a result, take them for granted. Some practitioners have reached that state of perfection where recipients think they are at fault. Getting others to believe it is their fault is the crowning achievement of being a sh*t. Without the cooperation of others, being a sh*t would be impossible.
Being a sh*t dates back to antiquity and perhaps to the dawn of human history. The first instance was when a member of a mastodon hunting party threw a lance into the side of an-other hunter and then scolded the injured man for getting in the way.
The injured man immediately saw the distress of the hunter who had caused the injury and said, “My heart goes out to you. You must be distraught that this accident should hap-pen to you. How thoughtless of me to get in the way. I hope you can forgive me.”
The spear thrower accepted the apology with grace. The wounded man was filled with gratitude at being forgiven.
Since that time, human beings have had an unbroken record of being sh*ts.
Three Categories of Being a Sh*t:
Reactors, True Believers, and Clever Foxes
There are three general categories of being a sh*t: Those who react without thinking and are out of touch with the ef-fects of their behaviors on others, those who believe their own concoctions and dismiss the effects of their actions, and those who know exactly what they are doing and enjoy themselves while doing so. Each of these three types has a better chance of success when social customs and traditions justify their behav-iors.
Type 1: Reactors
Despite humanity’s long acquaintance, we know little about being a sh*t. Those who react without thinking cannot enlighten because their actions are automatic and happen in the absence of conscious thought. Automatic behaviors may originate in the subconscious, perhaps in as yet unmapped regions of the lower brain, areas referred to as reptilian. Automatic re-sponses by-pass the brain’s neocortex, which is the site of reasoning, and the cingulate gyrus, which is the seat of caring and empathy. Typically, these responses also by-pass areas of the brain associated with a sense of humor.
Individuals who react without thinking are unable to say why they behave as they do because they have no thoughts to report. When their unkind deeds come to light, their spon-taneous responses are blunt, blaming, and loud. They are incapable of insight into their wrongdoings, and they blame others rather than admit they did something wrong. Self-focused and clueless about the effects of their actions on others, they show little caring and empathy for the recipients of their unkind deeds. Finally, they have no sense of humor.
These are Type 1 enactments of being a sh*t and the persons who perform them are Reactors. Reactors are the least skilled and least reflective of the enactors of being a sh*t. Yet, they could be the most common.
Type 2: True Believers
Those who believe their own concoctions represent the second style of being a sh*t. They explain their behaviors at length and think their insights are rare, well-said, and self-evident. Captivated by their own perspectives, they view recipi-ent objections as inappropriate and unjustifiable. When recipients question their unkind deeds, their favored responses are attack and dismissiveness: “You’re too sensitive.” “Where’s your sense of humor?” “I was only kidding.” Other typical re-sponses are indignation and even outrage. “How dare you?” “Who do you think you are?” “How can you think such things of me?” Their incapacities to see the points of view of others and their intolerance of alternative explanations confuse those who take them seriously.
From a neurological point of view, their neocortex is not fully engaged. Their brain circuitry taps into selected areas of higher order reasoning which permits their sometimes elegant explana-tions, but also detours away from areas that are essential for broad understandings of their own behaviors and how their behaviors affect others. In addition, their thought patterns by-pass the cingulate gyrus where capacities for empathy are en-coded, which makes it hard for them to imagine how others might receive their explanations. This results in short-sightedness with the consequence that they may be confused and even enraged when they meet with resistance. Finally, brain circuits that encode a sense of humor are underdeveloped. As a result, they mistake mockery for wit.
Unlike Reactors who have few or no reasons for why they do what they do, this second type of enactor has explana-tions that are logical and even elegant to them, but, when viewed with clear eyes, their explanations are partial and dis-torted. Under these circumstances, they cannot shed light on the true nature of their behaviors and cannot contribute to a theory of being a sh*t. These are Type 2 enactments and those who operate this way are True Believers.
Type 3: Clever Foxes
The characteristic behaviors of True Believers are self-deceptive compared to the third type. These are individuals who know exactly what they are doing and enjoy themselves while doing so. Their conscious goal is to deceive others. This third type of enactor will not contribute to a theory of being a sh*t because they do not want to give up the pleasures, joys, and other advantages they gain from unkind deeds and cover-ups.
Not only do they have thought processes that engage the brain’s seat of reasoning to a much larger degree than those of True Believers and Reactors, but they also have well-developed capacities for humor, irony, bluffing, bullsh*t, pre-varication, and other higher order talents.
Despite these talents, they are deficient in sympathy and compassion.
Some brain circuits related to their neocortex and cin-gulate gyrus are under-developed through lack of use while other circuits are over-developed through frequent use. They have advanced capacities for a special type of empathy in that they have sharp instincts about the vulnerabilities of others, but, instead of sympathizing, they take advantage of these vulner-abilities for their own gain.
These enactors are more complex and some may say more interesting than True Believers and Reactors. This third type of being a sh*t is called Type 3, Clever Foxes.
RECIPIENTS AS UNWITTING ENABLERS
On their own, these three types—Reactors, True Believers, and Clever Foxes—cannot accomplish being a sh*t because attaining that status requires recipients who buy into their cover-ups. Recipients come in more than one variety. Some believe they are responsible for the conduct of others. When enactors blame them, they take the blame. Some others are susceptible to humorous cover-ups, and others fall for cover-ups that play upon their sympathy. Some recipients flounder in confusion when enactors cover up. They are unsure of what is going on and give enactors the benefit of the doubt or think maybe it is them. Others are satisfied with enactors’ explanations and are not confused. They think they know what is going on but they do not.
Theories of being a sh*t that come from recipients can-not enlighten because enactors have succeeded in hoodwinking them, have led them down the garden path, taken them to the cleaners, duped them, and eaten them for lunch. Any theories recipients construct are based upon the premise that false repre-sentations are true.
HOW LITTLE WE KNOW
The three types of enactors and the many different kinds of recipients have only partial views and even these views are distorted. As a result, we know little about being a sh*t. We do not know how many different kinds of sh*tty behaviors there are, what purposes being a sh*t serves, or how being a sh*t ties us to and divides us from other people, including people we love and who love us. We have few ideas about how to respond to those who enact unkind deeds and cover-ups.
This present investigation may be the first to develop systematic knowledge about being a sh*t, further testimony to the neglect of this im-portant topic. In conclusion, this book responds to a pressing social need.
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