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Category:
Fantasy
ISBN-10: 1435732391
Type: Fiction
Pages: 306
Copyright: 2008
ISBN-13: 9781435732391
A funny, action-packed urban fantasy following the adventures of psychic Steve Walton, who must face monsters, madmen, aliens, clones, and evil gummy bears during a years-long quest to stop a supervillain from obtaining a powerful magical artifact.
On Halloween night, psychic high school student Steve Walton looks up to see a strange shooting star. This seemingly mundane occurrence catapults Steve and his friends through a bizarre chain of events as they face a wide range of threats including an evil twin, horrifying mutant experiments, a mystical cow statue, and horrible lizard men all during a desperate quest to keep a pair of magical swords from the grasp of a terrible supernatural entity. Action, humor, and magic collide with ferocious intensity in this breakneck adventure!
Excerpt
We were led to a small, dirt-floored room. The curved, windowed walls wrapped around us, revealing dozens of eager faces. The room appeared to be just another side section of the warehouse, a place where the brainwashed disciples of Fred could gather and enjoy some Master Fredickus-sanctioned bloodlust.
The only door to the room slammed shut behind us. We both began removing the armor at the same moment, as it was much too restrictive for our Fayette Lake Kung Fu moves. I glanced about as I removed the plastic plating. Fred's voice, fully gloating, began to boom around us as he stepped up to a microphone behind the audience.
"Friends, I know you are all good, faithful students of my cause. So tonight, I give an extra-special treat to thank you. These two fiends, two hooligans that have attempted to stop me in the past-"
The crowd booed. Fred waited patiently for the sound to die down, then continued. "Tonight, these two will fight my very own guard, Grudge!"
The crowd hushed and froze in silence.
"Do you two have anything to say for yourselves before we begin?"
"Only the obvious," I said. "You keep saying 'tonight', but it's still early afternoon, jackass."
The red-cloaked guard shifted a bit as I finished. The audience began to hiss and shake their fists at me. Despite the circumstances, the effect was cute. Once the hissing stopped, Fred concluded his darling little speech.
"Very well. Prepare to meet your doom."
I turned to the door and braced myself, but turned again at a slight squeak that came from the windowed area. A section of the wall slid up, and the guard in the green cloak stepped out and dropped a few feet to the floor. A dramatic cloud of dirt puffed around his cloak as his booted feet impacted on the dirt.
"Hi," Cram said.
Grudge approached us rapidly, having decided to forgo the pleasantries. He lashed out with both arms, but we each managed to dodge the initial attack.
"Fight, fight, fight, that's all we ever do," I said as I dodged another blow. This guard moved with amazing speed and would have been difficult to battle one-on-one, but once again, the odds were in our favor.
"Yeah, fighting is cool," Cram said, kicking the enemy in the behind. Grudge responded with an immediate spin-kick of his own. Cram was caught by surprise and fell forward. As I watched the tumble, Grudge spun again and threw me down.
I heard Fred laughing and clapping. I decided it was time to stop goofing around with this jerk. I rolled to my feet with Grudge less than a step behind me. He stomped down where my arm had been supporting me, and I bounced forward in a pathetic tackle. The guard tumbled back a half step, leaving him vulnerable to one of Cram's Flying Headbutts.
Or so I thought.
Grudge sidestepped. Cram landed face first in the dirt with a dull thud.
"Um, ow," he said. I would have helped him up were I not already engaged in a pitched fight with the guard.
Fred may have been evil, but he at least knew how to choose good protectors. Quick, stinging jabs pummeled into my body as I flailed about in a barely successful attempt to block. I gritted my teeth and tried to counterattack. I was amazed at how miserably I failed.
I had come here hoping to use all my psychic powers against Fred, perhaps to unleash a titanic blast as I suspected I had done to the aliens before I had blacked out. However, that incident had taught me that my powers were not unlimited as I had once hoped. They appeared to have a very real limit and were slow to regenerate.
Now, however, it was starting to look like I would need to use them as my only chance to defeat even this measly little guard. I had fought with my powers before, and had still been able to use them after, but I had no realistic way of knowing just how much that use would prevent my ability to defeat Fred.
But then, I really had no idea if I could even do that at full power.
For the moment, I resolved to fight using only my body. I thrashed about with as much speed and grace as I could muster, but this guard seemed almost inhuman in his power. I found myself wondering if Cram was still okay.
The guard's fist slipped past my defenses and slammed home in my gut. Stars sparkled in my eyes as I hunched over. As the flashing display of lights cleared from my vision, I saw the guard's other fist rushing toward my sweet precious head.
Before the fist made contact, Grudge froze and staggered forward. His motion pushed me back upright, gasping for air. As my head lifted, I saw Cram standing behind the guard, shaking and rubbing his head.
I fought through the pain in my abdomen and swung my fists at the guard. I abandoned finesse in favor of brute force. My fists cracked into the guard's shoulder and neck, sending him to the ground in a puff of dirt.
Cram seized the opportunity and kicked forward, crushing his foot into the guard's shin. The guard rolled over, attempting to free himself from our range of attack.
Being the unforgiving monsters that we were, we stepped forward and continued the assault. I could faintly hear the booing of the crowd through the haze of adrenaline. It sounded as though Fred's cult members didn't like to see us kicking a man while he was down. Oh, how bad I felt about it. It was all I could do to not shed a tear for the unfortunate turn in their entertainment.
I wiped a trickle of sweat from my eye and saw Cram being thrown down by some sort of kicking maneuver. The guard had used his uninjured leg, but he swiftly flipped onto both and rose over Cram. The crowd roared in approval.
Cram retaliated with a kick of his own, back into the same shin he'd hit earlier. The guard fell to one knee, bringing his fist down into Cram's side as he dropped. I dashed forward, watching as I ran, seeing the guard's fist going straight into Cram's head, sending it snapping aside. Cram's neck was left exposed.
The guard reached into his robes and produced a knife. I heaved myself forward, closing the last of the distance, catching a handful of green cloak. I threw with all my strength, shredding the cloak in half, and revealed the falling body of Bert, our friend, now our brainwashed enemy.
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