Category: Humor Publisher: Self
ISBN-10: Short Stuff...andothernamestheycalledme.
Type: Fiction
Pages: 250
Copyright: Jan 24,2007
250 pages of ranting,opinions,inspiration,short stories, and complaining. This is the long awaited collection of "All of my short stuff." that you have asked for.
Top Ten Things That I am Thankful for This Year
10. I am thankful that people are finally getting the hang of the “self-check out” lines. Soon they will be nearly as fast as the regular lines.
9. I am thankful that Emmitt did well on that dancing show. He seemed to try really hard and he smiled a lot. This was helpful in distracting people from the nastiness of the recent elections.
8. I am thankful that the gas companies are enjoying record profits, without charging $8.00 a gallon, as was forecast. I am sorry that I sold my car, though.
7. I give thanks that no one has invented “Spam Helper”.
6. I am grateful that Charles Manson was denied parole again this year. Still, you have to admire his chutzpah.
5. I give thanks for sunny days, the love of family and all the rest of the things that it said on that Happy Thanksgiving card with the autumn leaves and the pilgrim hat on it.
4. I am grateful that Uncle Wilbur is unable to come for Thanksgiving this year. The dog is also grateful, as this means he gets the turkey neck all to himself. The rest of us will be relieved that we don‘t have to endure the pictures from his annual visit “upstate”.
3. I am grateful that the term “Git ‘er done” is declining in popularity. I was getting tired of hearing it from my accountant and in the Sunday sermon.
2. I am thankful that I sobered up just before shaving my head. Along with this, I am thankful that St.Patrick’s Day comes but once a year.
1. I give thanks that I have not heard anyone talk about Hillary Clinton, Michael Jackson, or that T.O. guy in a while.
Excerpt
As you may know, I write stuff. Some say that occasionally it is pretty good. So good, in fact, that more than a few people have said things like: “Boy, I really liked your book The Letters of Danny Coyle; you should send it to Oprah."
After hearing this a few dozen times, I actually did. I even attached a personal note that said something like:
Dear Oprah;
I hope that you like my book The Letters of Danny Coyle. Everybody says that you will. When you get a chance, will you please mention it on your show? If you do, I will be able to pay off my kid’s student loans.
Your devoted fan
Dennis
Surprisingly, I never got a response. She never mentioned the book on her show either, at least nobody told me that she did. (Actually, I wouldn’t know for sure. I have never seen the Oprah show, but everybody tells me that it’s good).
For somebody that is supposed to be so nice, she certainly let
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Reviews for "Short Stuff...and other names they called me."
I truly enjoy your wit and humor. Reading "Short Stuff" got me to thinking that I should be doing more writing than I do. I love to read and write but find myself reading more than writing. Your work is an inspiration and hopefully will serve as an example that writing is fun.
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