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Lulu
Lulu
Category:
Humor
Type: Fiction
Derek Merit is a rather sad seventeen year old boy. His father died last year and he is in love with the girl across the road, she is dating his former best friend turned worst enemy. Sounds like you've read it all before, right? Wrong. Derek walks through a graveyard on the way home from school to avoid being beaten up by this guy and his new friends. One day he spots a glowing tombstone and a ghost appears. He tells Derek that he is him in a past life and that he can sort his life out for him. Derek, moron that he is, listens. Then people start dying and Derek doesn't know if he is the one killing them or if he's just going insane. It becomes clear though, that this ghost is not who he says he is. See - zombies attack a fast food restaurant - a seventeen year old boy have a romantic date with a middle aged police chief - a boy eat his best friend, but, even more horrifying, use the 'my dog has got no nose' joke.
“What do you mean I killed my mum? Surely I’d remember something like that.”
“I don’t know I can’t remember every little thing I’ve ever done.”
“I can accept that, but surely the killing of my own mother would be etched into my memory for eternity.”
“Do you want to know what I think?”
“I’m not entirely sure anymore.”
“You should probably hear what I think; you might now like it though.”
“Why the fuck not, go right ahead, knock yourself out, be my g_”
“I think you’ve gone insane.”
“No I haven’t.”
“You have. Killing all these people has driven you to madness.”
“Bullshit, you killed her. You’re a demon sent from hell and you’re just here to fuck with me and then kill me and take me back to Hell with you. You’ll be telling me that I killed my Dad next, ha, ha, ha.”
“Well now you mention it…”
“No I didn’t kill my dad. I couldn’t have.”
“So how do you explain the fact that everyone keeps telling you he died in a different way then?”
“It’s a running joke.”
“Not particularly funny, now is it?”
“Yes but this author isn’t particularly funny. He just seems a bit sick in the head to me.”
And then Derek was hit by some pretty disturbing flashbacks of murder, pain and misery. And he was the protagonist of the macabre. He remembered killing his dad in an undisclosed fashion. He remembered holding his mum’s face into the frying pan.
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