What’s a girl to do? Her husband ships out on an aircraft carrier for months on end leaving this naïve newlywed to deal not only with boredom and loneliness, but with psychotic house cats and out of control appliances as well!
Beginning in San Diego, California, and ending in Jacksonville, Florida, When Will My Ship Come In? The Misadventures of a Navy Wife is a hilarious romp through one woman's encounter with the United States Navy and how she lived to tell about it.
Autographed copies are available by visiting the author's website.
Excerpt
Chapter 8 - Life's Little Surprises
Somewhere in the universe there is an entity with a nasty sense of humor and feline ESP. This entity is responsible for knowing when my husband goes to sea, then alerting my cats. My major appliances and anything else I own that has moving parts are also notified. I'd love to see it die a slow, hideous death - or at the very least take a vacation every once in a while.
Cats have very unique ways of showing affection. Some are socially acceptable while others are not. Purring is fine. Bringing semi-conscious wildlife into the house is not. Prior to Dan's departure our cats would make the obligatory offerings of deceased rodents and small reptiles to show us how much they cared for and loved us. My role was to screech, point, and faint. Upon waking, the offending creature would have already been whisked away by my knight in shining armor. When aforementioned knight is gone, however, the game plans change. Unfortunately, I'm not the one who makes up the rules. Perhaps my furry little buddies realized I'm a bit psycho about dead things. (When I was a kid I used to pay my sister to dispose of my dead goldfish.) Maybe they just thought I needed a little extra exercise since the Dream Yourself Thin diet ended up in the bottom of their litter box. Or maybe, just maybe, it was revenge for the pom pom incident.
First there was the lizard. In the kitchen. On the window. We saw each other at the same time. He froze. I ran for the broom. After composing myself, I struck up a conversation with Mr. Lizard. He was an excellent listener. I offered him safe passage. All he had to do was get on the broom. After tense negotiations he accepted my offer. I flung him over the back yard fence. He waved, promising never to return.
After regaining my composure, I lectured the cats about their need to bring me gifts. I lined them up and tried to make them understand. They must have misunderstood. Apparently they thought I wanted more presents. Or maybe, just maybe, they were still thinking about the pom poms.
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Reviews for "When Will My Ship Come In? The Misadventures of a Navy Wife"
Bill Cosby, Jerry Seinfeld, Tim Allen, Erma Bombeck, Dave Barry, and ... Linda Krueger. What do they all have in common? They have written some of the funniest books I’ve ever read! I love humor books, especially the type where the author simply observes other people, and/or relates their own life experiences. Truth is stranger than fiction, but sometimes it's also much funnier! Ms. Krueger shares knee slapping details on the life of a newlywed Navy wife: her crafts, her craziness, her craving for babies, and the adventures of her cats during the long months of her husband’s many deployments. I loved this book for the fun stories, but since I was an Army brat (I never understood that term, because the children of enlisted men and officers are generally well behaved), I remember well the unique and unpredictable nature of having a father in the military. The stories in this book will have enlisted folks nodding (even if they aren’t Navy) and civilians cracking up!
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