Tracey was halfway through the second lot of papers when she found her mind wondering for the umpteenth time. She decided to put the papers away and work on them later when she could focus on work and not the lovely Tiffany. She found it harder and harder with each new day, to not think of Tiffany every waking minute.
As she was tucking the papers in their folder and putting it back in her bag, she saw her trusty diary lying at the bottom of the bag. She had always kept one every since she was a little girl, but this one was a lot different than her other life’s diary. This one was primarily about her feelings for Tiffany and she got a tingle just from her fingers brushing over the book, as it lay nestled at the bottom of the bag. This was because in it was the only proof that she was falling head over heels for this woman. She’d never told anyone, but her diary friend, and she knew she probably never would. She knew she could lose her placing as Tiffany’s nurse, and maybe even her job, if the head nurse saw fit to make her pay for her iniquity.
Tracey looked up as if she was about to do something wrong. As she looked around her at all the dull-weathered faces staring blankly into nothing she decided to pull the book out. She didn’t know if she would write anything being this was such an open place with people all around her, and they would be able to see. She cherished her feelings and thoughts about Tiffany and thought them sacred. It was something she didn’t want to share with anyone, especially not strangers, but she still felt the need to see the words of love that were written in the book.
Opening the pages she hunkered down in her seat so she could have a little more privacy, while she slowly read the pages yet again. She had formed a habit of reading and then re-reading every word in the book and had been doing it quite a bit lately.
Tracey always felt at ease when she would open her ‘Tiffany book’, as she called it, because she knew she didn’t have to hide anything from it at all. She could be just as open as she wanted to be in it, without fear of any sort that there might be repercussions about her words.
Tracey usually skipped around to different entries as she would read through the book, but decided this time to start on entry one and go from there. “Maybe,” she thought, “I’ll be able to figure out why this woman has such a hold on me.” She knew she loved Tiffany and each new day just proved that to her more and more, but she truly knew in her heart that it would do no good to figure it out.
Entry One: Dear Diary, Can you believe today was the same old usual referrals? From strokes, RTA’s, substance abuse and blah, blah, blah. The only thing out of the norm was the suicide attempt by that poor young girl. Doesn’t it ever get better? Why can’t I just once, ever, have a different sort of case? Please, don’t get me wrong. I love my job. I love the feeling it gives me when I can help patients start rebuilding their lives.
The sad fact is diary, that people know that I care. Once they find this out about me, they seem to treat my office like it’s a dumping ground for cases they just can’t be bothered with, because they know I’ll not turn them down. They know I’ll pick them right up, because that’s the type of person I am.
But I do wish that sometimes people wouldn’t take advantage of me, and my kind heart so much. This afternoon, on the other hand, there was a late admission to the ward. Her name is Tiffany. She’s the most beautiful woman I believe I’ve ever seen. The funny part is I haven’t seen much of her, because she was pretty beaten up. Even though she was comatose for a long while, she’s still recovering from wounds that didn’t want to heal, so she still has plenty of bandages all over her body. But, she feels beautiful to me from the inside out, diary. I don’t know if you can understand what I’m saying about her, but trust me, she’s the one this time, I’m sure.
